The Elite Club of Pretentious Assholes

May 18, 2020. The Rothschild Residence.

Five minutes later, we’re cuddled up on one of the big armchairs in the room, Hanna Maria’s satin dress draped over our nude forms.

“I never got to the see the photos last time,” she says, resting her head on my shoulder as I scroll through my camera feed. She points at the last one, the cumshot, and says: “That one’s hot.”

“You want a copy?” I ask.

“You better believe it. Send it by email,” she says, and I shoot her a questioning look.

“Obviously it’s going to a burner account. And I like looking over these things at night in bed with my Edouard. We project it onto a screen, cuddle as we watch ourselves going at it with other people… it’s curiously romantic,” she says, tapping in some long string of digits and numbers into the email address field on my phone. “Plus, it’ll be at least another year before anything will happen.”

“You’ve still got that agreement with your husband? One outside partner a year?” I ask, softly stroking her arm.

“That’s right, and I used it on you this year, so you’d better be happy about that,” she says, cozying up to me some more.

“I’m surprised you didn’t use it one of the many young, hunky dudes that make their living around here by being attractive.”

“It’s what I do most years,” she laughs. “But it’s never quite as satisfying as I’d like it to be. You know, you’re the only one I’ve ever slept with twice.”

“You haven’t slept twice with Edouard?” I ask teasingly.

“I’ve slept with him hundreds of times, not twice,” she retorts.

“Must be nice, to be happily married,” I say.

“You’ll find someone eventually,” she says, giving me a peck on the cheek. “You’re talented, you’re charming, and you’ve still got the looks.”

“I’m not just looking for anybody,” I reply. “I have… standards that others have trouble meeting.”

“You’re looking to join our elite club of pretentious assholes?” she asks.

I dip my head a fraction.

“Well, I can tell you that I’ve got a niece who’s on the market, maybe you’ve heard of her…”

“I’ve got my eyes set on a different family,” I say.

“The Najbreits?”

There’s a moment of silence as the word stifles the room. There’s something about it, my name, that demands respect.

“The Najbreits,” I admit, slowly.

“That’s going to be tough, considering how they seem to hate you now, huh?”

I pause, weighing my options.

“You’re committed to the deal?” I ask.

“It’s not a sure thing, but I think I know why you’re asking. And no, you revealing that you were actually sent here by the Najbreits won’t put our deal in jeopardy,” Hanna Maria laughs.

I stare at her.

What the fuck?

How did she know that?

“Oh, you’re cute when you’re caught off guard, Claude,” she smiles, giving my cheek another peck. “One of those women who you’re hoping to get married to, Ms. Amanda Najbreit, told me that you were coming. She warned me not to take the deal, said that you were full of shit.”

“Fucking hell,” I whisper, trying to figure this out. “The other Najbreits might not, but she certainly hates my guts.”

“I’m curious, why would she have done such a thing?”

“Because she doesn’t want to see me succeed. And because we had a back-up plan, one that would involve no joint venture with you guys, one that would give the Najbreits total control,” I say.

I deliberately omit the details of the plan. Things could still go wrong. Tiffany’s at stake here, and I can’t let that kind of harm befall her.

Hanna Maria just laughs, shaking her head.

“It’s just something you’re going to have to get used to if you want to play these games with us,” she says. “I guess that’s your official welcome to the club, huh?”

“So you’re still down for our joint venture?” I ask, hardly believing my ears.

“Of course. I don’t gain anything if the Najbreits run away with the deal for themselves,” she says. “But do watch your back, Claude. Those Najbreits can be ruthless, you know?”

Oh, I know all too well.

“Thanks for the advice,” I say.

“I think you knew it already,” she says. “Just wanted to give you a reminder. Anyways, I should be going—it looks like I’ve got a new deal to prepare for.”

With that, she slips off the armchair and takes her dress with her, winking at me, leaving me alone in the room.

I stare at myself, at the phone in my hand, wondering how in the world I managed to pull this off. I swipe into the AMA, and my heart leaps:

Sean Corolla, Score: -30 (as Markus), 55 (as Claude) (+19)

Hanna Maria Rothschild, Score: -50 (as Markus), 61 (as Claude) (+37)

That’s two scores past the fifty threshold. I check the Perks menu, and lo and behold:

Curent Points: 250

Perk - Internal Defences II: Makes your immune system respond roughly twice as strongly to threats when it would make you healthier. Cost: 250 points.

Perk - Fearlessness I: Gives you the ability to selectively disable your sense of fear. Upgradeable. Cost: 50 points.

Perk - Joy’s Deliverance II: Makes anyone you sexually couple with capable of orgasming from stimulation to any erogenous zone. Upgradeable. Cost: 150 points.

Perk - Swoon: Anyone meeting you for the first time gets butterflies in their stomach. Cost: 250 points.

Perk - Quiet ****: Die painlessly. Cost: 1000 points.

More perks may be unlocked through further use of the app.

I click in and buy Internal Defences II without a second thought, and the points I’ve gathered vanish in an instant. I let out a sigh of relief. I’m not going to die, I think to myself, but I realise with a start that the dull ache in my muscles and my joints hasn’t faded.

I take a calming breath. Of course it hasn’t. The perk isn’t a magic health potion. It merely helps my body respond to threats better. I still need to take it slow, recover.

But taking it slow, one step at a time?

That doesn’t seem so bad, now that things seem to finally be falling into place.

You guys are amazing. Seriously. When I made that small comment about bonus chapters two days ago, I certainly wasn’t expecting that we’d hit 50 (and counting!) likes before this chapter went up. Your support means a ton to me, so thank you for every little bit of it.

As promised, I’ll put up the 5 bonus chapters shortly.