The Zuboff Party: Coming Down

May 9, 2020

“You want a pill?” Sean asks Hanna Maria, holding out his tin.

He shakes it a bit when she doesn’t immediately respond, and the tiny blue capsules make a funny rattling noise. I crack a smile, only to realise that I had already been smiling.

Hanna Maria sniffs her nose and gives him an imperious look.

“No, thank you,” she says.

Oh man, she sounds angry. Sean sure is in some hot shit! I’d better save his ass, now that we’re bros.

“Hey, you’re here, Hanna Maria!” I call out in a voice much louder than necessary.

Hanna Maria turns to face me. That condescending look is still there.

“I’ve been here for a while.”

“Well, I hadn’t seen you around, which was why I came here to chill out,” I say.

“So he has been looking for me,” she remarks softly, almost as if I can’t hear her when she talks quietly.

The small part of my brain that is still clicking along at its normal pace is telling me that I need to clean my act up now. Fast.

But the rest of me doesn’t feel the pressure. There’s no need to do anything wild. Just lay it on slow. Nice and easy, life is good…

“I gave you an invitation for a reason,” I say, swinging my legs over the edges of the couch so that I’m sitting upright again. “You want a seat?”

Hanna Maria looks down at the space next to me.

“I think I’ll stand.”

“What, you don’t like getting close with me?”

“I think you know the answer to that,” she laughs humourlessly.

“But I’m dying!” I complain, truthfully, because my body is aching all over again, like rough sandpaper burning in the depths of muscles, the pain randomly flaring up…

She pays the comment no attention. She must think I’m stupid.

“I really am!” I say, reaching for her arm.

“You’ll be better after you get over the trip,” she says cooly.

“Aw come on, take a pill, it’ll loosen you right up,” Sean says, rattling the tin in her face again.

She turns her face away to get the thing out of her sight.

“Where’s your husband?” I ask her.

“He’s at home,” she says. “Where I should have stayed tonight.”

“What’s the matter, you’re not liking it here? The stars are beautiful tonight. I was just pointing out Castor and Pollux and—”

“And Venus and Polaris and all the other things in the night sky, yes,” Hanna Maria says, unimpressed. “You were a much better conversationalist back when you were sober. When did you turn into a junkie?”

“I’m not a junkie!” I protest. “First time I’ve ever done this, promise!”

“You’re out of your mind right now,” she says, shaking her head. “Small wonder you’re going to end up paying two billion for that company worth no more than one-and-a-half.”

I’m still sharp enough to find the opening when it’s offered.

“Nah, not me, I’m not paying for it,” I say blearily. “Not my company, not my people, don’t give a shit about the Najbreits…”

“That’s right, you move on brother, we’re in this together,” Sean says, leaning over on his couch to give me a fist-bump.

We miss the first time and connect on the second.

I see the way Hanna Maria looks me over.

She’s wondering how much stock she should put into my words.

“What happened?” she eventually asks, unable to hide her curiosity.

“What do you mean, what happened? We just fist-bumped is what happened,” I say, and I lean over and give Sean another fist-bump.

We do it one go in this time.

“Boom,” he says, and Hanna Maria rolls her eyes.

“Claude, why didn’t you come to the party with Tiffany?” she asks.

“Because the STX people are here at the party too,” I mumble.

“What?” Hanna Maria asks.

“Because they can’t know,” I say, grabbing her arm, trying to make her understand, “do you get it now, they can’t know?”

But I know the words aren’t making sense to her, even though it’s all clear in my head, they’re just not coming out right at the moment…

And then she walks away, shaking her head, casting me one last disappointed look.