Not a lot

You are stuck to the fridge door for a week.

You watch your family eat meals, fetch snacks, and chat. Only your mother is aware that you are there, naked, helpless, and in plain sight of everyone.

When the kitchen is empty, your constant arousal consumes your mind.

Today, you revive as your sister Zoe approaches. "Hey Mr. Banana Man," she says, giving your lower protuberance another playful flick (your favorite part of these meetings). "How's it hanging?" And as usual, you fail to respond, being an inanimate refrigerator magnet. "Hard work keeping the shopping list on the fridge, eh?" She chuckles as she flings the fridge door open.