With the truth

“No.”

Shock was her reaction. It was clear that she hadn’t expected that. A single word had snuffed out that curiosity like one would a candle. In the darkness of its wake, anger remained.

“You didn’t stop me!” she said, rushing towards me like I was about to flee. “I told you! Eclipse! If you didn’t like it, why—” She had placed her hands atop my legs as she moved to press herself against me. That action caused her to rub against my now painful erection that still lingered. Her hand wrapped around it as if she was trying to understand what she was feeling. Confusion filled her eyes as she searched for the answers in mine. The problem was I had no answers to give her. Together, we were both equally lost.

Tears rolled down her face seconds before she crushed her lips against mine. This wasn’t like the Kaylee I knew. Everything was so unrestrained and wild. She was always so careful around me. Always mindful of my feelings as she balanced her desire to push forward and her respecting my desires. That was gone now. Only a primal need remained as she clawed at me, her lips hungering for everything I could give.

Overwhelmed, my mind shut down and I moved on a deeply ingrained instinct. For the first time in my life, I felt like an observer in my own body. Acutely aware of everything, I felt it all yet connected with nothing.

Her passion was met in equal measure. I held her close to me, her firm body pressed against mine as we straddled the edge of breathlessness. I could fully appreciate the strength in her petite body as she grasped me tightly with both arms and legs. Neither wanted to break our connection to the other, but instinct demanded we breathe.

I was only vaguely aware that I was inside of her. Somewhere in the madness of our lust and desire, she had managed to slide me into her. The tight heat around my cock was mere noise at the overwhelming **** on my senses. This was nothing like what I had witnessed with the other two men and no one seeing it would mistake that difference.

For a brief moment, I believed that I had everything I ever wanted. I was with Kaylee in a way I had only dreamed of. My crush for years, now my girlfriend.

My love.

So why wasn’t I happy?

A loud cry of passion marked Kaylee’s orgasm. I had no illusions of my part in that. The two before me had built her up. I was merely the release valve finally triggering. I didn’t care, and I don’t think she did either. It didn’t matter because she was here. Her eyes were locked with mine as the pleasure overwhelmed her. It was my name she was calling as she tumbled over that edge. The moment she hit that peak, I was right there with her. There was only a brief moment of clarity in the fog of insanity, a deep desire to protect my family and loved ones allowed me to pull out mere seconds before joining her in release.

We huddled together, clutching each other tightly as we rode the blissful waves together.

In an instant, the fog lifted and we were ourselves again. Wet, breathless, and half-freezing, we remained motionless as the gravity of the situation grounded us.

Kaylee pulled back first. She sniffed loudly, wiping at the tears on her face.

“Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know!” She laughed, angry as she wiped at her eyes. “I finally had sex with the man I’ve liked for years, and I can’t stop.”

I understood why I wasn’t happy then. We had lost ourselves. I didn’t regret it. I would never regret being with her, but this wasn’t how I wanted our first time to be. It wasn’t that I was the third one. I found that bothered me less than I expected, rather, we had surrendered ourselves to lust. While she certainly didn’t treat me like I was any other guy, our sex was simply that. Sex. We sated a craving, nothing more. There was nothing wrong with that, but this wasn’t the time for it. Our relationship deserved better than that. We deserved better than that.

Dropping her hands, she looked at me. It was hard to tell what was tears and what was water. “I’ve never been so happy,” she said, blue eyes refusing to release mine. There was a moment where she looked afraid. An instant later, that fear was replaced by iron determination. “I love you, Scott. Maybe it’s too soon for that, but I am certain. More certain than anything I’ve ever been before.” I opened my mouth to respond only to have her hand clasp over it. She shook her head. “Don’t. Don’t answer yet.”

Only when I nodded did she remove her hand. Leaning forward, she kissed me.

A shiver ran through her as her teeth clattered noisily together. “We… should go inside.” I nodded breathlessly before she held up her bikini top. “First though, help me put this on?”