Oooh-Dooh's panties, but also, her... "tail"

Oda could only think of one way to preserve her deception... desperately, she began to slide the Blood Knife of Oda down from inside her waistband...

"Well, girls? Is everything in order with Oooh-Dooh's tail?" The Goblin Guru had to stop himself from chuckling at this ridiculous sight. He wondered if his goblin viewership was sophisticated enough to appreciate why this sort of long-winded humiliation scenario was so delicious.

"Uh, it's a little sssssssmall, Sssssssir." Xyss-Siss scratched her scaled head in confusion with one long talon as she focused the main camera on Oda's posterior. "But it'sss very clean! Sssssssshiny, even."

The goblin's eyes widened for a moment behind his glasses. Had the princess really figured out some way to produce a tail? Not that it mattered one way or another... if she insisted on trying to take control of the situation, he'd just yank that goofy mask off her head. The defender had long since failed her objective of making a stealth approach. "A clean, shiny tail? Really?" Keeping up the illusion that he wasn't going to look at it himself, he gestured with one hand for a member of his crew to bring a vanity mirror and position it behind the princess, so that he could discretely make the inspection.

The princess had been trying to trick the kobolds... a dull effort that only worked due to the dull target. The princess had clearly smuggled her knife down between her butt-cheeks and clenched them, with the hilt sticking against the top of the skirt, so that the small blade looked a bit like a pointed tale. She'd cut a small slit in her pantyhose, as well as the cutesy pink panties she wore underneath, decorated with black bat wings that looked more like a child's printed panties than something a demon would wear. Child-like or not, they fit her no-longer-child-like bottom very well.

Unmoved by that fact, Balzhak sighed deeply. Did his camera crew not even remember what their own tails looked like? "Ahem... Miss Oooh-Dooh. I'm glad you passed your inspection. But I have another lesson that's especially pertinent right now. Balzhak's Lessons for the Lesser #922: Never be the one who's **** to show his ass. The moment I told you to hike up your skirt, you should have refused! What kind of ego can survive a situation like that? A personality requires an ego; an ego requires self-respect. Never forget these words I'm telling you."

Oda nodded eagerly, showing that she would retain the lesson.

The Goblin Guru realized he hadn't clearly spelled out that the ruse was over yet. "How about we start over with introductions? I'm Balzhak, the Goblin Guru. Host of Balzhak's Lessons for the Lesser, a self-improvement show enjoyed by beings across manifold universes. If you'll kindly take that knife out from between your buttocks, I'd be interested to learn who my guest is for this one-thousandth installment."

"Crap!" The knife fell from betwixt her butt-cheeks as she finally released. She grabbed the mask from her head and threw it to the ground, then stomped on it, throwing a minor tantrum at her bad luck regarding her ambush, which could have easily looked cool and impressive under other circumstances. The girl's red (reddish) eyes glowered as she puffed up her cheeks an expression of annoyance. "You're not just some dumb goblin with a bunch of kobolds, huh? Anyway, you've had the bad luck to run up on the Red-Eyed Princess Oda, ruler of this tower! The tower has many defenders, but among them, I'm the most important!" She used to say she was the most powerful, but... she felt a bit bad, lying like that all the time. Instead, she liked to think of her power as... potential. She'd be stronger than all of the other demons, once she got some more years under her belt!

The man's thick brow lowered in annoyance. "Do I look like some random goblin, Oda?"

"Honestly, I really don't know. I heard Bedevalus talk about them before, but I haven't seen one before. I thought they were a lot smaller, though..."

The goblin turned to one of his camera crew and tapped at the vicinity of where a watch could be, then shook his head, frowning. "No time for all that again, I'm afraid. Already ran the explanation of my backstory for the people at home. Suffice to say, I'm not only the most influential goblin in any universe, I may well be the most influential being in all of the universes. Forgetting princesses, I've slept with queens and kings- sometimes multiple at the same time. I've seen to the coronation of just as many. Some cultures know me as 'Kingmaker.' I am the finest guru you will ever meet, because I am qualified to teach you- or anyone else- anything."

"Wh-Why are you talking about sleeping with princesses all of a sudden?! I said you were a little taller than the average goblin, not that I wanna sleep with you! Get your mind out of the gutter!" Oda babbled, waving her hands in embarrassment.

"Don't want to sleep with me, huh? Well, what do you want? I am a Goblin Guru and this is my thousandth show. We can get to what I want later. For now, let me do a little guru-ing... what would you like that you don't already have?"

The princess raised one eyebrow and crossed her arms over the suit of her disguise's blazer, making a thoughtful frown. If this guy really was some famous guru... maybe she really could learn something from him before she sent him packing? A confident smile returned to her face. Of course! She could trick this guy into giving her something for free! It was almost like robbing him before beating him! But what sort of lesson could a Goblin Guru offer her?