Princess Oda, with a real gem of a stratagem (Bullying)

"Ba ha ha ha ha! Wooow, Jervale, are you serious? The guy's name is Ball-Sack?!" The princess of the tower rolled around indignantly upon the floor, still dressed in her comfy clothes, a red track suit like a young girl might wear for gym class. She was, of course, not so young any more; it fit a bit more snugly in the top these days, and thus, she wore it with the zipper down to the breast of her t-shirt. "We're under attack by a little goblin named Ball-Sack?!"

Jervale barely looked up from his notes as Oda rolled around his chamber... then snarled as she began rolling over some of the sketches and writings he hadn't gotten around to archiving yet. "Yes. He's a goblin named Ball-Sack. You should go tell him how funny his name is. I'm sure he'll turn around and run home, crying."

"He he! Naw, I've come up with a much cooler plan than that already. Besides, bullying is wrong, especially when we're talking about powerful demons like you or me, up against little gobbos." Not realizing the irony in the statement, the demon afflicted with the Curse of Bullying stood and pressed her fists to her hips. "A guy like that doesn't know all of the faceless nine-to-fivers that work with him! I'm going to dress up as one of those kobold camera-girls you told me about and infiltrate his gang! Then, when I'm close enough, I'll... challenge him to a one-on-one duel with my sword!"

"Jab him with the ol' Dark Blood Blade of Oda, hm?" Jervale flicked his wrist and scrolled around on his globe with a look of boredom. "Where were you planning to hide your sword, while dressed as a kobold camera-woman? Should I modify your body so that you can hide it in your wrist, like an assassin from a martial arts anime?"

"Uwaha! No, no body modification! You freak me out with that stuff, you weirdo. See, when I said my sword, I meant my knife. It's a side weapon that's just as effective as my sword! Rogues and thieves and folks like that beat goblins all the time, right? It's going to be no trouble at all! I'm dual-class, fighter and rogue!" Oda pulled out her intended weapon to demonstrate: a blood-red, shining blade with a black, leather hilt. It looked wicked and sharp enough for the purpose, but the way she was holding it upside down with the blade towards herself like a chisel didn't inspire confidence.

"Goblins know a thing or two about knives. Maybe the Guru will teach you something."

"I'll teach the Guru something! Geez, you're just in a bad mood today. Watch, I'll show you... this is one evil tower that doesn't have any goblins or kobolds! No random enemy encounters in our tower! Aaah ha ha ha ha!" Ironically playing the role of the adventurer against the goblins, the demon princess departed the basement and went to change into her kobold secretary costume.

The Goblin Guru had paused at the first floor of the tower after opening the main entrance. As much as he sung the praises of being well-prepared, he really had no idea what to expect... but the preparation part was really more a boon for those goblins that formed his fan-base, the ones learning at home. He didn't need a lot of thorough preplanning because his brain was his strongest weapon and his body was a close second. If those two failed, he also had a pocket full of all kinds of magical and technological weapons. All of this was to say that he had no particular worries about which defender would choose to meet him. Whoever they were, he'd happily offer them lessons in exchange for their crystal. If they wouldn't accept, he'd **** them to.

Balzhak's Life Lessons for the Lesser #302: speak softly, but carry a big stick. He'd actually stolen that one from someone else, but he didn't think the other goblins would realize that.

When no one arrived to meet him, Balzhak was instead **** to monologue to his readers. "You see, this tower is your standard demon fare. They all think, ooo, big black spikes all over everything, torch-lit hallways, spiderwebs, skulls over every door, bones for door-handles, these are going to scare off all of the intruders. Look: you're out of date. People aren't scared of spikes and skeletons any more. If you really want to scare people away, you need to be subtle about it. People aren't afraid of **** any more, they're afraid of humiliation, personal embarrassment, the loss of the status quo, that sort of thing. These aren't elements of fear you can engender from your home decor. Better to live comfortably, says this guru. Balzhak's Life Lesson for the Lesser #622: what use is self improvement if you do not spend your riches on yourself?" The goblin gentleman shrugged and rubbed his finger across one of the low tables, frowning at the dust that came up atop his finger-pad. "Lesson #249: do not allow your host to greet you in the setting of their choosing. Take initiative and seek them out first. Come on, crew, let us..."

The goblin's voice trailed off as his blue eyes scanned the kobold camera crew, hidden by his glasses. Xyss-siss had the main camera, the one he was looking into on average... there was Camera B to his right, Camera C to his left... why was there a fourth camera? He followed the length of the camera rig to its holder... the costume the stranger wore was so paper-thin a disguise, it could only fool the most inept of creatures. One of the demons had dressed in the secretary's uniform that the rest of his kobolds wore, including the black blazer, mini-skirt, panty-hose, and high-heeled pumps, but her hips were clearly not a kobold's wide haunches. Shapely for a human, but far too slender for a kobold. Furthermore... where the lizard's head should be, a rubbery Halloween mask flopped back and forth with googly eyes. The Goblin Guru wondered if this idiotic demon realized how racist kobolds could view such a caricature... if they weren't so dull-witted that they'd failed to notice the intruder in their midst.

Balzhak stroked the trimmed, straight edge of his beard thoughtfully with one long finger. He considered his strategy and spoke it silently, within his own mind. "Very well... If you're going to try a sneak attack like that instead of negotiating like a civilized sort, then I'll have to teach you a harsh sort of lesson, Tower-Dweller." The green gentleman's lips curled into a deceptive smile as he craned his neck up to peek past the wall of Kobolds, towards the previously non-existent Camera D. "You there, in the back, right next to Xyss-siss... Ah, what's your name... It's on the tip of my tongue..."

"Oooh-dooh, Mr. Guru." The demon princess lied through clenched teeth, sweating behind her mask... Her ambush didn't seem to be going particularly well. Should she just take the mask off and challenge him to a duel right there? No... He was just a dumb goblin, right? Even if he was kind of... different than she expected a goblin to look. Charismatic, somehow. "Isn't a bigger goblin called a hobgoblin?" she thought to herself, feeling embarrassed at how little she really knew of goblin culture... demon princesses were supposed to know about monsters like this.

"Ah, right. Oooh-dooh. I have a task for you."