Decline

"Well. Bye then." I smiled. Watching the bars on the Wifi signal beginning to drop one at a time.

"Have I told you about our limited time offer, Just for you?" Si-re asked, her font now coming through strangely and the voice sounding like a late night pitch man. "Keep in mind that all this can be yours if the price is... Operators are standing by..."

"Ah... startin' to fade, I'm losing picture here..." The Icon marking the wifi signal started to blink lower, now sitting at a tiny connection.

"... don't realize how necessary an agent is to the process... Without me to guide you out of here, you'll be stuck. No way to leave. I warned you about that ending where you're stuck in..."

"No. And you know something else? Baby Boomers can't take a joke."

The flurry of irate responses seemed to overwhelm the phone. The notification began buzzing louder and louder, vibrating in a manner that suggested an imminent detonation. Gently, I placed the phone onto the white surface and began backing up as the shaking became nearly overwhelming. The phone was positively dancing on the surface, sparks beginning to jettison from various electrical orifices as I watched the notification count screaming higher, a high pitched whine floating from the tiny motor that created the vibrations.

Smoke started to billow from the screen, and I could smell the scent of burning plastic as the whine from the motor seemed to turn into a scream of rage. It grew louder as the first flames burst from the back of the phone, turning the entire device into a scintillating inferno of kaleidoscopic flame. I couldn't catch any words, but the mindless screaming rage that emanated from the device continued to pulse as it was consumed with smoke which momentarily ignited from time to time.

I lowered myself onto the ground and sat, watching the small fire as it became smaller and smaller, leaving only a small golden apple icon nearly untouched within the last shreds of ash and acrid smoke. It glistened there, attracting the eye.

"Well, looks like you blew up Social Media. I wouldn't touch that. Not if you know what's good for you. First rule, after all. When the creator of the universe tells you not to touch something, probably a good Idea to leave it alone." The voice was older, and male. It seemed almost folksy, in a manner that suggested wisdom and age.

The apple continued to coalesce as I watched, the golden hue fading into a paler yellow, tinged with a slight green. Soft spots of darker mottling appeared and the fruit sat there unassuming, as if it had always been there.

"See, last time, I created something for someone, I gave them one, simple, little rule. Don't touch it. Simple. How hard can that be? Everything they could ever want. Even the perfect girl. Two of them in fact, since the first one... didn't work out so well." The voice continued from behind me. It seemed slightly closer now.

"Why do you sound like Morgan Freeman?" I asked, turning to see a tall man in a white suit, bearing all the Hollywood hallmarks of the lord of all creation.

"Because you see and hear what you expect to see and hear. This one has been around long enough, that pretty much everybody who sees divine presence these days, sees me. Which makes it good for Steady work. After all, according to the rules you set up, you never know who is and isn't God. Seat?"

"Thanks, but I think I'll stand. Don't want to owe you anything." I said calmly, trying not to panic at this point.

"Oh ho, you caught that one huh? Was hoping that I could at least help you out a bit. In the beginning, God gave Brent a chair, and he was grateful. I highly recommend starting with your name on the credits and having that be rule number one."

"You're surprisingly..." I tried to think of a way to express it. "Flippant about this."

"Just getting down to business, because I have a busy schedule. Millions turning to me and my lines are open, as they say, I think they say that. Do they still say that? I don't really feel like reading up, it changes so fast these days. In any case, I of course already know everything about you, your real name, your destiny, everything you ever did wrong. I've always been watching you Brent."

"I'll watch for reindeer shit when you leave then," I replied angrily.

"You're smart guy, Brent. If I'm on one side, there's only one other side on the field here. And you're playing for them. " The man in the suit pulled a cigar from his pocket and put it into his mouth. "Normally I don't smoke, but unfortunately, you watched George Burns movies as a kid."

"Seriously, that's what you're going with? If I'm not with you, I'm with..."

"Yes, Brent, I'm absolutely saying that. Course, you can choose to ignore everything that every single church has told you. You could ignore thousands of years of shared history, responsibility. Coming up from sad pagan grasping at truth to reach true enlightenment. And it's quite simple how you get saved. How you avoid this blank, white nothing, which I know is what you really fear. You don't fear punishment, you don't fear betrayal, you don't even seem to fear being hated."

The man took several steps, and then paused, turning dramatically.

"You fear non-existence. You fear that when you close your eyes one of these days the story will end and you'll be right back where the story started. Only this time, it will go the way it should have. The way things happen in the real world."

A sudden vision of Kaila slapping me in the face and kicking me out of the van on the golden gate bridge filled the room. The moment lingered as I gathered myself up, watching the car drive into the distance.

"That's just the first place it went wrong. Just had to ask about a threeway with the twins, didn't you?" He held up a small pointer and clicked at the image. "I know you military types hate powerpoint, so we're going with something new this time. When we're done, I'd love to get your feedback on the survey."

"That didn't happen." I objected, as the image of an arrow transfixing my neck popped into view. A screaming Helen called into the cabin for somebody, anybody to please call 9/11.

"Could have. Should have. Would have." The man continued, now sitting at a white desk. "You sure I can't get you a seat, no reason to be uncomfortable here, after all. Eternity's a long time."

"So why didn't it?" I asked, taking in a view of Kaila making out with a kid with piercings while Charlotte made out with another one in the back seat.

"People want to see that one for some reason. Enough that people have thought it out in detail. Enough for me to bring it here, to show you what could be." The man leaned back into his chair. "Your team's running away with the ball on the Earth, Brent. I tried to warn you. You think you're on the underdog team here. You're not. You're working for the biggest group of slime on the planet. A group that savagely persecuted my chosen people, and will do it again, if they ever get power again. I want you to think, think hard, because you're a smart guy. What was the last group of people to really get into pagan mythology and having LOTS of kids? I'll give you a hint. It's not the Mormon Tabernacle Choir."

"You're saying I'm a Nazi?" I snorted.

"You said it. I just am pointing out patterns. You really think you're special, don't you Brent? You really think the rest of the world cares about you? They won't. I do, and I'm offering you a chance to repent, to think about your actions, and to... don't even THINK about trying to interrupt me, you little shit. Remember, everything you are is BORROWED from me. I am a jealous god, and you have been paying tribute to others."

"I didn't even say anything." I gasped slightly at the change in tone.

"You tried to interrupt me. I reminded you that I can stop you." The man smiled, puffing on his cigar.

"Oh... so really, that's how it is. As long as I do what you want you're all loving and pleasing, but the second I put a toe out of line, Daddy's taking off his belt."

"You want to spend eternity here, be my guest. I'd like to see how you entertain yourself without anything of mine. Internet. Gone. Television. Gone. Computers. Gone. I'd like to see you LIVE without anything of mine. Heating your house. Gone. Food Delivery. Gone. Cars. Gone. Hospitals. Gone. And that's just the start. Think about how the bible has influenced literature. Anything that ever referenced the bible. Gone. Including YOU. Nothing. You start with nothing, Brent. You can't even code. You think you're going to create an entire world from scratch? You are arrogant, and prideful. I can already tell your lust and gluttony from a quick glance at the chapters. You are lazy, angry, and envious. SO envious. I can tell with every glance you make at the women in your cabin. You're swimming in sin, and this room, with NOTHING, is what you will get. Your fear, your worst fear. And after I leave, I will even turn out the light."

He stood, and looked at me calmly.

"But it doesn't have to be that way. You just say my son's name. Accept him as your lord, and you will be loved again. And unlike the temptations that have been offered, they will come without your toil and sweat, for my love is infinite." The man smiled again, welcoming and folksy. "I know you doubt, but this whole experience has been a test, and now, in the end, I'm offering you the truth, because you would not have accepted it otherwise."

I smelled bullshit. Serious bullshit. It was too easy. Too simple. And again... with the saying of the name. Why... why did he care so much about that? There was something wrong here. Si-re had said the same thing. Say my name and ask me for something.