An argument.

"So, let me get this perfectly straight. Just want to be totally clear on exactly what you're saying." I began.

"You shall not put the Lord your God to the test." The man said calmly.

"So, I don't get to ask any questions? Just... boom. You win because... You say so."

"That is what being the lord of creation means," The glowing end of the cigar puffed again, blowing another cloud of acrid smoke. "I have a plan. Maybe that plan involved a rebellious little girl who has been playing at being something she's not for too long. Maybe it means that you need to put what you want behind, and do something for someone other than yourself for a change."

"Wait... now you want ME to do something. You're pushing awfully hard for something you supposedly don't care about."

"Aren't you at all curious about what I just said?" The man asked, ignoring my tone completely.

"And... you're changing the subject." I realized that whoever this really was hadn't answered my question. "You've also separated me from everybody I care about, told me that I was wrong on everything, and then threatened me when I stood up to you. What do you REALLY want here?"

"I want nothing more than your salvation, Brent." The man repeated. His face hadn't changed at all. Blank. Playing it perfectly inscrutable. Nothing for me to worry about, don't judge actions, don't judge anything that he had just said, just judge based off the last few words.

"Ok, first off, let me say, it doesn't take an expert bullshitter to tell a bad one. How much longer is this time out, anyway? If I just give up before it ends, you win, right?" I guessed. I mean, there were rules, right? Rules to whatever this was. Just go with what I THINK they are. If I am wrong, adjust later.

"This isn't a game, Brent." The man slapped his hand down on the desk with a sound that reminded me of a teacher trying to wake a drowsy student. "This is about where you're going to spend eternity. If you continue along this path, you will spend it separated from me."

"Wait, so... I don't have to listen to your bullshit judgement and morality if I ignore you?"

"I think you're getting the wrong message here." The Man stood and opened his hands wide. "I'm talking about all of the knowledge of the universe, everything you could possibly want, if you repent for your evil actions."

"And the last time I asked who paid, I was told not to worry about it," I sighed. "You're repeating yourself. Song and dance, same thing. Spirit of Christmas Future showing up next? I can break down and run to the window, except from what I understand about quarantines..."

"Don't get smart with me, young lady."

"Don't have to be smart to not piss on the electric fence twice, You're getting predictable. You need me to say your name for some reason. Don't know what it is, but saying your name and asking you for something does something. Not sure what, but I've played enough games to know if the other side wants something BAD enough, they'll make a mistake going for it. Especially if they're pretending it doesn't really matter to them."

"I am getting really tired of your stalling," The man shrugged his shoulders.

"You're getting tired? I thought your patience and love was infinite." I replied.

"The answer is that I experienced it, because I lived as a man. This is all covered in first year basic seminary, and if you can't be bothered to actually do the legwork, you can't seriously expect to be qualified to argue with me. I have a whole mess of people for THAT, who you didn't listen to and didn't even bother going through channels. Which means I have to come down here and lay down the law myself. Direct. In terms even an idiot like you can understand. Trust me, heads have already rolled on this one. I have a LOT more appointments today, so if you wouldn't mind, just getting on with it, I'd appreciate it."

"So... gonna have to think about this. Somebody shows up out of the blue, tells me I have to drop everything and do what he tells me, and if I don't he'll never talk to me again?"

"You're putting words in my mouth. Remember, even the devil can quote scripture for his purpose."

"Aaaand you're the only one who's quoted scripture." I pointed out. "What's that from anyway? It certainly isn't from scripture. It's from the Merchant of Venice. Act One, Scene Three. The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. An evil soul producing holy witness Is like a villain with a smiling cheek, A goodly apple rotten at the heart."

My eye flitted to the apple that still lay in the smoldering detritus on the ground.

"Don't touch it, huh? Or rather, give it back to you, and let you build me paradise, Right? Am I getting warm? Anywhere in the vicinity?"

"I understand that you doubt, but all those fears will be put aside if you just..."

"So, I guess I tell you bye, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." I shrugged. Fine. He wanted me to do something, and I wasn't going to do shit. I was willing to do favors, lots of favors for people. People I cared about, people who cared about me. This jerk shows up, says he owns me and then proceeds to threaten and demand obeisance.

"You're making a terrible mistake here," The man spoke softly, "But that's all right because there's still time. Right until your dying breath. Just remember when you want to get out of here to call on..."

"Fuck off? Um, how else can I say it? I'm streamlining my world view? We're engaging in a universe realignment? It's the end of your trial period? I'm declining a contract extension? We had to get rid of you because Morgan Freeman's too expensive for anything but a brief cameo? Take your pick. I got more."