Pretty good! At first.

You don't know any cool dice tricks, or card tricks, or quick-change tricks. You have no idea how those last three magicians did it. What if it was real magic?!

Anyway, you can't do anything cool like knowing what card somebody picked. All you can do is hypnotise people. You can actually do it really well! You used to practice at school, during maths. You can make just about anyone do anything! Hopefully the audience doesn't think that's too boring...

Well, the start of your set goes really well. You get up an audience volunteer, and make them act like a construction worker. They- like, they pretend to swing a hammer. You're not good under pressure, okay?! The audience really likes it, so you carry on in the same direction, and get four other people up to pretend to be a house -- two walls, and two for the slanted roof. They balance super well!

Fifteen minutes into your forty minute timeslot, an audience member stands up and walks towards the small stage they've got set up, clapping as he does so. You try to tell him that he's clapping early, but he cuts you off.

"Wondrous work, Debbie the Titleless." His hands make a surprising amount of noise with the claps, considering that he's got white gloves on. "I was so hoping that somebody with actual talent would take to the stage today."

At this point, the tophat wearing man has reached the base of the stage, and climbs up. The slight chatter among the restaurant goers has been silenced at this point, and looking over to the manager -- hey, wait, is he sleeping? Oh no! Everybody's sleeping! Even the other people on stage! Your performance must've been so bad...

"Now then," he continues, standing up straight on the stage and dusting his black suit jacket off. "I've put the rest of these imbeciles to sleep. How about you and I have a little chat?"

Hey, what?! He's ruining your show! It was going so well, too!

"NO!" You exclaim, less angry and more defiant. "Please wake them back up! You're messing up the show!"

He looks genuinely surprised to hear that answer. A smile creeps back across his face after a moment. "Perhaps I should properly introduce myself. Maybe you've heard of me? My real name is not of your concern, but people like to call me-"

"I only have a forty minute timeslot, it's gonna be all used up!"

The surprise returns. When he speaks again, he stumbles over his words a little bit. "A-ah, I see. Well, I will happily reawaken them, if you agree to-"

This guy sucks! What do you do about it?!