Lost Memories

“Oh, uhm…” John’s head was a little foggy, either caused by whatever Lorelei had got him to smoke or the immaterial state he found himself in. Regardless, he did his best to conjure up an image of Emelia. “Well, she’s a brunette… a bit on the pale side, thi-”

“My apologies, I should have clarified,” the seer interrupted. “Tell me about her personality. What is she like? What is she interested in?”

“Uh… I don’t really know her that well… she’s sweet and easy going, but a bit on the shy side. She likes…” John really didn’t know what she liked. “Me?” he asked. “I mean, yeah, she has a crush on me.”

“Okay,” Lorelei acknowledged. “When did you first become aware of her feelings?”

“Well…” John thought back to Friday. It already felt like weeks since, yet it had only been the previous day. Life in the Abyss ran at a pace far too fast for him.

There was a shift in the void they floated through. Wisps of smoke began to thicken into heavy clouds before taking form. John felt solid ground under his feet and looked down to see the familiar tiles of Ashcroft Academy’s hallway. In front of him more clouds began to restructure into steel lockers, one with a familiar fist sized dent. Figures began to float past with shapeless faces and one walked up to John’s locker, opening it. A second figure nervously crept up behind him.

“...it’s my birthday today and I’m hosting a party at my place tonight. Do you want to come?” he heard Emelia’s voice faintly resound through the reconstructed memory.

“Oh, happy birthday, then,” the first figure replied. It was a bit unnerving to view his memories from a third person perspective, let alone that he was looking in on them with company.

“What were you thinking at this moment? You became aware of her feelings for you, then?” the seer asked. “How?” Her tone suggested it was less a question and more a gentle prod to have him thinking about the memory.

“Well…” John shrugged his shoulders. “We’d rarely talked before. I wasn’t all that popular and pretty unsociable; I, uh… struggled... with talking to girls in particular. That all changed once I started boosting my Charisma with my powers. Suddenly people were looking my way… talking about me… asking me out. Emelia was just another one of those people.” The scene around them was becoming clearer the more he reflected.

“You feel you’re undeserving of her admiration?” Lorelei asked with a tilt of her head.

“...Yeah, I guess so,” John replied. “I mean, it’s not that she likes me, she’s just unknowingly being influenced by my powers. She had this… doe-eyed look about her, like when she beheld me she was looking at something holy and… I dunno, it just felt like she wasn’t looking at me, you know?”

“And yet you are holy, are you not?” the seer responded. “I may be blind, but I can see the Lady’s touch radiate from you as brightly as my from Warden.”

“I guess so,” John repeated glumly.

“I believe I understand, Mr. Newman,” the seer continued with a sympathetic nod. “You feel unworthy of her favour. That your power is not — in fact — yours, but hers...”

John bit the inside of his cheek and felt nothing.

“...But you will come to understand that your gifts are your own; the Lady seeks only to guide us in the right direction. If you were to truly reveal yourself to the Order, I am sure-”

“Look, uhm, I appreciate that you’re just trying to help and that you’ve kept my secret, but I’m here to save some people — not have a private heart to heart with a secret sect’s mystic seer.”

“My apologies, John,” the seer replied. “I… well you are right, I overstepped and there are more pressing matters at the moment. Please, forgive me. Whatever your reasons are for hiding the true extent of your gifts from the Order, I believe that in time you will come to fulfill the destiny the Lady has laid out for you. And, of course, I will always be at your service should you desire it.”

“I’m not hiding from the Order,” John retorted. “Your Warden is well aware of what I am, who else, aside from her, needs to know?”

“While it is true the Warden leads the Order, my Lady Brighton is not yet ready to entirely assume her role, though your point is taken,” Lorelei replied. “I speak only from a position of concern for your safety. I think it best that my brothers and sisters truly understand who it is they’re working with.”

“And I think I’ll be far safer with as few people as possible knowing,” John replied. “If such information was known, it would only incentivise the Order’s enemies to come after me, putting more risk on myself and those close to me.”

“Perhaps,” the seer admitted. “For now, I will let the matter rest. You are correct in that now is not the time for such discussions. I think it best we move on from this memory. You next crossed paths with this girl at this party, I take it?”

“Yeah,” John nodded. “I’d never been to a house party before. Red and I showed up at the party dressed as Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, go figure. Emelia was dressed like a cute succubus. I thought it was a bit odd she dressed that way… she seemed too shy. Maybe she was dressing up for me, I don’t know. We spent the night drinking and chatting… things were going pretty well, all things considered. Then Frank and Vanessa showed up. We ended up challenging them to shots… but after that, things are blank for me.”

“Is that so…?” the seer hummed in reply, watching on as the group of ethereal actors bottomed their third round.

Curiously, every time John’s echo took a shot, the spectral John watching felt the burn of **** washing down his throat and a very slight fog beginning to grow in his mind. It seemed that he shared some senses with his double.

By the sixth shot, a couple of the more feminine figures were slouching heavily in their seats, while the echo of Emelia’s brother had seemingly stopped participating to solely play the role of bartender. Only Frank, John, and Sam were still drinking enthusiastically. In fact, Red was clearly slipping John her own shots and it seemed the Vanessa followed suit with Frank.

“What is the point to such excessive drinking?” the seer asked.

“Well, I think at this point it was just a pissing contest between Frank and I,” John replied blithely. He was more than a little curious now. He didn’t remember how the game of shots ended and they were inching past the last vestiges of his memory of the night.

“I still do not understand,” the seer shook her head with a sigh.

Sam bowed out at the ninth shot, finishing it with flair before quietly resting her head on Red’s shoulder once everyone's attention was safely fixed on John and Frank. A stray hand found its way up Red’s thigh, which John noted she was more than a little receptive to. Meanwhile, John’s clone and Frank were keeping pace with one another. John, for his part, looked well, all things considered. Gamer’s Body probably helped in that regard. Frank, on the other hand, was beginning to slump in his seat. Still, the guy was keeping pace with John. It wasn’t like there was a brain to damage in that thick skull of his.

The crowd of spectators leaned closer with every passing shot, laughing and cheering, and seeking signs of weakness in either of the two surviving contestants. “You seem to be enjoying that people are rooting for you,” the seer observed.

“I enjoyed having the advantage over Frank,” John countered. “And having witnesses made it all the sweeter.”

“You hold a deep resentment for this man?”

“That would be an understatement,” John replied. “The guy has tried keeping me under his thumb for years. But even he’s not half as bad as his girlfriend, Vanessa.”

“I am familiar with Miss Hawthorne,” the seer nodded. “Her family has caused us problems in the past, not at all unusual given their connection to the Red Witch.”

“Right,” John grunted as he continued observing his own echo competing with Frank.

They had reached fourteen. Frank was looking dangerously wobbly and even John was now leaning on the kitchen counter. Jayden was readying their next test: a double-shot of Absolut Vodka. Frank eyed the drink with a hint of worry as it was slid under his chin. John, encouraged by Frank’s uneasiness, was more than ready. There was a growing anticipation among the crowd as they counted them down. And the moment the shot glass met Frank’s mouth, his body stiffened and he let out a low moan. John, meanwhile, looked at ease while the double-shot slid down the back of his throat. Although a heavy fog had settled in the mind of John’s spectre, telling him that the **** was definitely affecting his echo more than it seemed.

The crowd cheered as the glass loudly hit the counter top, and he turned to take Red’s lips in a victorious kiss. But their attention was pulled as Frank leapt emphatically from his stool and all but fell towards the kitchen sink. Those spectating let out a collective cringe as he began to violently hurl into the steel bowl. The sound cut through the beat of the music like a saw, accompanied by some uncomfortably sloppy splashes.

“Shit, Frank, don’t lose a lung,” John yawned during a moment of repose before he licked the remnant vodka from his glass, earning a few chuckles from the crowd.

“Fuck y-” was all Frank could manage before his words were swallowed by more pained retching.

“How is it you are capable of maintaining your wits let alone mustering a thought?” the seer suddenly spoke up again, taking John out of the moment. “I feel positively sick.”

“You feel that too?” John asked curiously.

“That is correct,” the seer groaned. “You are connected to the Astral Plane’s echo of you, and as you and I are connected… well suffice to say that for now what you experience we all will.”

“I see,” John nodded. “And to answer your question: Gaia’s just blessed me with a resistance to booze, I guess,” John shrugged in jest. “Why? She didn’t give you that?”

“Uhm… no…” the seer shuffled her feet and looked down. “The Order encourages **** in strict moderation and my own experience has only served to reinforce the sense of such a code.”

“But smoking a joint and tripping as high as the astral plane is all good. Gotcha,” John nodded.

“Before you tease, do consider that if I let go you will be lost in the Astral Plane for eternity,” the seer warned in reply.

John just grinned and turned his attention back to the scene to relive his forgotten glory. Frank’s large form was shaking over the sink, though he seemed to have emptied most of his stomach already. John’s echo, meanwhile, was basking in the revelry of his victory with Red under one arm and Emelia under the other. Jayden seemed to be torn between giving him the stink eye and watching Frank, while Vanessa was acting like Frank had never graced this earth with his presence. Instead, she watched John with narrowed eyes, as if she was impressed but simultaneously hated that she was impressed at all.

After another minute, Frank finally pulled away from the sink. He glared at John for several moments likely assessing whether it was worth instigating anything, but evidently relenting and approaching Vanessa. “Come on, Vanessa,” Frank muttered as he wiped a stray bit of vomit from the corner of his mouth. “Let’s get out of here.”

Vanessa glanced sideways at him and opened her mouth to reply, but John beat her to it.

“Aww, really?” John voiced with surprisingly genuine disappointment. “You just got here, I’d be sad to see you go. I’ll tell you what, we’ll call it square for all the shit you’ve put me through and take the opportunity tonight has given us to move on.”

“Shut up, Newman, before I beat your ass,” Frank muttered.

“You mean like you did in that game of shots?” John laughed. “You’ll ruin that sink if you have to visit a second time.”

“You cocky little shit,” Frank spat loud enough to silence the rapturous crowd. “You think I’m gonna start taking shit from a shrimp like you? That fist in your locker ain’t gonna look half as bad as your head when I’m through with you.”

The cellphones that had only just started returning to pockets after Frank had finished heaving were now out again as the partygoers sensed another fire post for social media in the making.

“I’m amazed, truly-” John was still laughing as he gave a light slap to the asses of Red and Emelia before sending them towards the crowd. “-that it took you fifteen shots to muster up the courage to face me again. I mean, this past month all I’ve seen is your tail in the school hallways as you tried to avoid me.” As John spoke he began unbuttoning the shirt of his costume before shrugging it off, exposing the muscle he’d built during his life in the Abyss. While Frank was built to be top heavy like a gorilla, John’s figure was much slimmer, more akin to an Olympic gymnast. The spectral John watching the whole affair unfold physically cringed as his past self exposed those muscles now. He was by no means ashamed of his gains, but the whole act was completely unnecessary and it was obvious he was just doing it to show off.

John’s echo lazily planted the shirt in Red’s hand after briefly trading a kiss. “I hope you’re taking those pants off as well, darling,” she called back with a sly grin.

“That event is reserved for the after party upstairs,” John replied. “Although they are feeling a bit tight. I might need a few friends to help me out of them,” he gave a wink to the spectators. The echo of John spoke with all the confidence of someone who owned the world. The spectral John looked on feeling only embarrassment and shame over his drunken behaviour.

Yet John’s drunken echo had made a severe error in judgement, assuming Frank would allow for any form of showboating. With his body turned to the crowd, he was completely blind to Frank behind him. The hulking bully stepped forward and swung a king hit into the back of John’s skull, causing the two spectral spectators to wince as they felt the blow ring in their heads. The room fell to a dead silence save for a few gasps and the ongoing music, as John staggered forward. The fact that he’d remained on his own two feet and not spread on the floor **** or dead was a testament to the fortitude of his own powers.

“Fucking what?” Frank looked at John wide-eyed as he straightened himself and slowly turned to face him.

“That wasn’t very cool, Frank,” John cracked his neck before striding forward. His right fist connected with Frank’s nose with the snap of a spring mechanism and was followed swiftly by a rising knee aimed for the bully’s pelvis. There was a loud ‘pop’ as John’s kneecap found a home in the smelly sack hanging between Frank's legs. It was fortunate that Frank had heaved his guts out before, for they surely would have blasted onto John then, had he not. Instead the bully let out a strained wheeze as his face drained of all colour and he staggered backwards. Unlike John, the bully failed to remain on his own two feet. At the same time, something clattered onto the kitchen floor.

The spectral John’s eyebrow rose in tandem with his drunken echo’s as their eyes fell on the ornate butt plug that had seemingly escaped from Frank’s pants. “Damn, Frank, I thought it was Vanessa that had the stick up her ass but it seems I was mistaken.”

The best Frank could manage in reply was a whimper as he curled on the floor, cupping his nose in one hand and his groin in the other. “Someone take a picture and frame it for me, please,” John laughed before his eyes turned to Vanessa.

The girl looked at Frank like he was a turd on the pavement. John strangely felt a splash of sympathy for the bully, having been the subject of that gaze for as long as he’d known the vile girl.

“So, you going to look after that sack of shit or are you going to have a good time?” John asked.

Vanessa’s eyes wandered to John before briefly flickering to Frank and back. Her eyes lingered on his bare torso. “You’ve changed, Newman,” she said shortly,

“Stick around and I’ll show you just how much I’ve changed,” John replied easily and offered her his arm.

‘My powers have to be working overtime here,’ the spectral John watched with interest as Vanessa’s face spread into a flirty smirk. ‘Christ knows she would have slapped me otherwise.’

“Fine,” Vanessa replied, her gaze rising from his pants to his eyes as she stepped haughtily forwards and took his outstretched hand. “I suppose you’ve earned my time…