A lot more strip clubs, for one thing

The first thing you notice is that downtown Salina is a LOT bigger than it was. Twice as many buildings on Main Street and it seems like nearly half of them are strip clubs! And mormon-themed strip clubs at that!

The first one you pass is called "Mormon Girls" with a big murel of half a dozen young women in thongs giving friendly, inverted smiles from between their knees. The next one is called Companions and the murel has two young women with missionary placards stenciled onto their left tits, fingering each other.

"Sister Act" and "The Relief Society" appear to cater to more mature tastes, the murels depicting more MILFy entertainment, the former prominently advertising Jello Wrestling Thursdays, the later promising Discreet Laying On of Hands.

Of course, the murels are not the only displays of T&A. There is plenty of the real thing. Obscenely dressed latter day saint women are on every corner, in every window, crossing every street and wiggling their tempting flesh in everyway possible. You nearly wreck your car several times.

But it's not just the women. There are tons of pedestrians in your formerly sleepy home town. And they don't seem to be locals. They're taking photographs like obsessed tourists while the Sisters happily pose for them. At the corner of State Road 89 and Main, what looks like a gaggle of Korean businessmen are all watching through their phones as six nearly naked women form a human pyramid.

You don't know how you would notice something so trivial, but you do. It isn't the corner of S.R. 89 and Main. It's the corner of D.R. 89 and Main.

D.R.? What could that possibly mean?

But then someone behind you honks and you continue towards your sister. You don't want to disappoint her. But you really are curious just how many ways the world has changed just because you made Mormons sex and ****-fueled libertines.

And then you drive past City Hall. There are more tourists and naked women but that isn't what stands out. It's the flag. The red, white, and blue are gone. The flag has blue and white stripes and a blue beehive in the corner.

You're not in America anymore.