Cold showers and sleepovers.

Alright, so, let's recap what I know so far.

I'm in an alternate dimension/universe/timeline/whatever where men and women have switched roles in society. Men being more girly, and women being more manly.

Well, that much was obvious enough. I thought idly to myself as I scrubbed my head.

Man, even the bathroom looked different than the last time I was here. The walls used to have all sorts of flowery and elegant designs, the shower stall was more well kept and clean, and there was literally a stack full of various shampoos and conditioners that you could probably set up in a line that'll reach for about a mile or two away.

Now it's just... bland.

The walls were grey, the tiles were sort of moldy in some spots, and there was only a bar of soap and hair conditioner in here. I've realized that I've said this multiple times already when describing my aunt's house, but it seriously felt like I was in another guy's bathroom instead of a girl's.

I was sort of considering jerking off to calm myself down, but the atmosphere and smell in here kind of killed that boner before I could even take my clothes off.

Huh... I wonder if this universe's Aunt Felicia and Tiffany masturbated in here frequently then? You know, since they're the guys here and all.

...

I hesitantly picked up the shower filter on the floor and gave it a small sniff to see if I can smell anything. Other than the obvious rancid smell of sweat and dead skin, nothing else popped up in my sensors. With a small bleugh, I set the shower filter down.

Man, this is so weird. This is SOOOOO weird. I seriously have no idea how to react to all this.

Dude, it's going to be so tough getting used to how things work around here.

I heard a knock on the door, before Tiffany called out, "Everything all right in there, John?"

"Yep! Everything's fine!" I responded.

"Okay. If you need anything, let me know." Tiffany reminded, before stepping away.

"Wait, actually-" I called out to her, "I sort of have a question?"

Coming back, she asked, "What's up?"

"Do you or Aunt Felicia usually masturbate in this shower stall?" I decided to brazenly ask.

In any other situation, like any situation at all, I would rather die from a freight train than to even dare ask something so stupid outright to my own cousin. But luckily, with how the rules worked in this new universe and the added benefit of Tiffany thinking I'm currently a bit of a loon, I figured I'd probably get away with asking something like that.

I could hear Tiffany stutter a bit as she responded with an embarrassed, "Sweet Mary, I-I am so so so sorry if there was a-a-a mess left behind or something! That's probably from my mom! I promise I'll clean the shower more thoroughly next time before I let you use them!"

So they do masturbate in here? Nice...

"Righty-o, cousin." I casually acknowledged, continuing to scrub myself clean.

I could hear Tiffany storming away, and a very loud, "MOM! Did you jill off in the showers today?! Why didn't you clean up after yourself, you know how gross that is!"

"Oh shit, did John find a trace or something?"

"Why the hell do you think I'm bringing it up now?!"

"Agh- shit! That's embarrassing..."

I chuckled to myself as I eavesdropped in their loud conversation. It sort of reminded me of something that happened last year when I first came to visit Aunt Felicia after moving to this town.

"Tiffany Augustus Brian, where are you?!" Aunt Felicia stormed down the staircase like a fiery mom on a mission.

We were just in the middle of catching up before Tiffany gave an annoyed groan and called back, "What is it, mom?"

Walking right up to us in the living room, Aunt Felicia held up a pair of panties by the tip of her fingers.

"Jesus Christ, mom! Why are you showing off my underwear?!" Tiffany attempted to grab the offending panty with an embarrassed and panicked tone.

Aunt Felicia pulled the underwear away from her daughter though, as she reprimanded her, "Do you know where I found this? This was in the middle of the floor in the bathroom! How many times have I told you to clean up after yourself?! John's going to be temporarily living with us until he can find his own apartment, what would you have done if he found this first?!"

"I dunno, imagine that he used it to jerk off after sniffing it?!" Tiffany tried to jump to reach it, "It's not like he's a stranger or anything, it would have just been awkward!"

"Tiffany, you vulgar and shameless girl, do not take that tone with me!" Aunt Felicia briefly looked over at me with a bright smile, "Sorry about this, sweetheart. I'll be sure to ship your cousin into shape so that she doesn't do something stupid like this again."

"John! Convince her to give me back my panties!" Tiffany pleaded as she attacked me with her puppy dog eyes.

I could only raise my hand up in defeat with an awkward smile, not knowing how exactly to deal or react to the situation.

Looking back, it was pretty fun hanging out with them. I should have visited much more often, I think...

...

I sighed depressingly. Too late for that now. Won't be able to see them until I get back home.

IF I get back home...

If the other John Doe from this universe is out there, taking my place just as I took his, I really hope he treats my family well. They're good people.

---

I stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist. I brushed my hands over my hair to get it less soggy as I closed the door and went up to the living room. Seeing Aunt Felicia still on the couch and watching TV, I called out to her, "Hey Aunty, you still have some of my spare clothes here?"

"Sure, hun. It should still be in Tiffany's room from the last time you- oh goddess!" Aunt Felicia pointed upstairs before freaking out when she turned to see me. She quickly covered her eyes and looked away, "Sorry, didn't mean to look!"

I raised an eyebrow at that but was too tired to really question her behavior. Probably because I just came out of the shower with only a towel on or something. "Thanks, Aunty."

"You should probably cover up the rest of your body before Tiffany accidentally sees!" She warned me with a nervous tone.

Accidentally sees what? I thought to myself.

In hindsight, I probably should have asked her to elaborate before I went up the stairs.

Walking down the hallway, Tiffany came out at that moment and saw me. "Hey, John. I went back to your apartment to pick up some- Holy shit!" She suddenly cried out, before turning around.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"John, why are you just casually walking around naked?" She asked in a heavily flustered tone, refusing to even glance in my general direction.

"Well, I mean, I'm wearing a towel." I slowly stated.

"Yeah, but only to cover the bottom part! Why aren't you covering your chest?!" She asked, slowly getting more exasperated.

"My chest?" I looked down to see what was wrong before it slowly dawned on me what the situation implied.

Right, right, topless girl. I nodded, before doing a double take, Wait, but I don't have boobs. Why should it matter?

"Why does it matter if I cover my chest or not? I mean, Aunt Felicia doesn't cover herself." I told her.

"That's different! Girls have those flabby lumps, so it doesn't matter if we don't cover it, but men have- you know- it's flat- and the manly shaped parts with the- it's man-chest!" She tried to explain, as if that statement would be enough to settle the problem.

Different rules, I guess. I thought the equivalent to boobs here was a man's testicles, but apparently, it seemed to be much more complicated than I thought.

Man, I gotta do some more research if I want to try to fit in and survive.

With a shrug, I pulled my towel up to wrap my entire body like a girl. "This better?" I asked her.

You know, covering myself like this kind of made me feel more **** for some reason. Like I was trying to protect my goods from the outside world. It's weird.

Tiffany hesitantly took a quick glance back, before giving a sigh of relief and turning around. She still had a heavy blush and refused to look me in the eye, though. "You need to be more careful. You're the only guy in this house with two other girls."

"Sorry, still trying to learn the rules on what's normal or not in this reality. Everything's the opposite, you know?" I chuckled awkwardly, scratching my neck.

She sighed again, "Right. Almost forgot about that." Then she perked up as she realized, "Wait, if you say that you're from an opposite reality, wouldn't that mean my mom's chest be-" She paused, before shaking her head in frustration, "Fuck, I don't think I even want to know. As I was saying, I went by your apartment again to pick up some clothes. If you need me to bring anything else from your room, just tell me and I'll go get it later."

"Right. Thanks. Sorry." I nodded.

For a brief moment, I caught her glancing at my body, before she hurriedly walked away as she covered her eyes.

Well... That was a mood. I thought to myself, before entering Tiffany's room to get changed.

---

Everything after that was pretty normal. Aunt Felicia tried to ask more about my condition to see if she could do anything to help if she saw any sign of my brain injury come up, but we were able to bullshit our way past that in order to get her curiosity satisfied and nothing more.

Night fell, and we all went into our rooms to get some sleep.

Well, at least, Aunt Felicia went to her own room. Like the last time I was over here back in my universe, Tiffany and I shared her room.

Back in my reality, I offered to sleep on the couch back when I was temporarily living with them as a guest. Tiffany thought that was dumb and told me to sleep in her room instead, using her spare sleeping bag. I didn't really know what else to do, but I ended up accepting her offer anyway since I didn't want to be rude.

However, in this new reality, it seemed to be a reversed situation.

Apparently, back when John Doe- the one from this universe at least- lived with Tiffany as a guest, Tiffany offered her bed and room to John, and that she would sleep on the couch. But John Doe vehemently denied it, saying that it was wrong to take her room away when he was only just a guest. They argued a bit about it before Aunt Felicia decided to pop out her sleeping bag and told Tiffany to 'Stop being a wuss and sleep in the bag.' John then tried to argue that it was wrong for him to take away Tiffany's bed, only for Aunt Felicia to then tell him, 'Stop being a priss and sleep on the bed.'

And that's how their living arrangements worked since then.

Still feels kind of weird, taking a bed away from a girl in her own room and forcing said girl to sleep in an uncomfortable sleeping bag...

Looking over at her as she set her bag up, I asked, "Is it really okay for me to sleep on your bed? I mean, I'm willing to sleep in the bag instead. That's how it usually went back in my reality."

Tiffany waved away at me, "Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. I'd rather you sleep on the bed anyway."

"You're not just saying that simply because I'm a guy?"

She paused for a bit, before smiling, "You know, that's something my John would say. He hated getting better treatment simply because he was a guy. He always thought it was unfair how some guys used their gender as an excuse. He always tries to make sure everyone is getting equal and fair treatment, both male or female."

I smirked, "He sounds like a pretty cool guy, then. The Tiffany that I knew usually liked to boss me around since she was the younger cousin, but she also hated acting like a girly girl. In fact, she usually tries to defy gender roles when it bothers her."

"She sounds like a handful."

"Girl, you do not know the half of it." I laughed.

Or maybe, since she's also Tiffany, she would know more about that than I would think?

Hm... Complicated.

Finished with her bag, she flipped the lights off and crawled into her makeshift bed. "Alright, time to get some sleep."

I curled up in my blanket and sat still as the night went on.

Silence ensued for the next few minutes. Not awkward silence, just silence.

I felt a little bit restless though. It was hard for me to fall asleep.

Looking over at Tiffany, she still had her eyes wide open as she laid in her sleeping bag.

"Hey, Tiffany?" I called out to her.

"Yeah?"

"You still awake?"

"No. I'm currently in the middle of a dream and I'm just sleep talking responses that conveniently answer your questions."

I chuckled, "Smart ass."

...

...

...

"Tell me more about your John Doe. How well do you know the guy? What's he like?"

Tiffany glanced at me for a bit, thinking to herself. Then she told me, "You were a very gentle person. Easygoing and great at making others feel relaxed. You were like a reliable older brother. You were a mix between being assertive and being a complete doormat though. Sometimes, you'd be insistent on trying to nose your way into other peoples problems so that you could help fix them, and other times, you'd just do whatever other people tell you to do without really thinking for yourself. But I guess that just comes from your good samaritan personality."

I slowly absorbed all this information. "You know... that sort of sounds half like me. Any negative qualities though? Something about John that gets under your skin?"

She hummed in thought, "Mmm, no. Not really. If I had to pick something though, I guess it's that you're way too easygoing for your own good. I've seen people mess with you pretty badly, and you would just take it and then brush it off like it was nothing. It's like you never really think for yourself at all. Actually, you know what-" She suddenly perked up, "I always hate how unconfident you are about yourself. Nevermind how other people would treat you, you always tend to think so negatively about yourself. Saying stupid things like, 'Oh, I'm not that good looking,' or, 'I don't really think I deserve being too happy.' Like, what?! Who wouldn't want to wish happiness for themselves? It boggles my mind how such a genuine and sweet guy like you can say and think so lowly about yourself as if you were just trash. You're not trash! It's not your fault that you can't find a job around here, and it's not your fault that you're **** to take a small break from college just to stabilize your life! Sometimes, shit just happens, and you can't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong."

That... that sounds a lot like what Tiffany once told me after I had to take my break from college. I confided to her once, during a more depressive phase of my life. She said almost the exact same thing to me as this other Tiffany was telling me.

Some things end up different, and yet some things still stay the same...

"Have you ever told John that’s how you feel?" I asked her.

She sighed, “No... No, I never did. Not all of that, at least. I usually just keep it to myself because I’m scared we might argue, or I end up hurting your feelings. Or worse, you end up completely brushing me off.”

Hm... that’s a difference, then.

“Once your John comes back... you should tell him that. It might make him feel better. Like, a lot better than you could imagine.” I advised her.

Turning to the side to face me, she asked, “Are you really sure I should?”

“I’ve went through something similar. I was able to snap out of it thanks to the Tiffany from my world. She’s not afraid to butt heads with me sometimes, so she just told me straight out about what she felt. If your John is going through what I think he’s going through, tell him everything you just told me and deal with whatever comes next.”

She suddenly laughed to herself, as if I just told a really stupid joke.

“Something funny?”

“No, no...” she muttered with a depressed smile, “I just find it pathetic. Hearing that a different version of me actually had the ovaries to speak how she felt to her John Doe, it makes me wonder what the hell I'm even doing if even a fake make believe version of me could do it before I even did.”

I frowned at the part where she called my Tiffany a fake make believe version of her, but I let it slide. No point arguing about it.

With a smile, she sighed, “Alright. I promise, once you get better and return to normal, I’ll tell you how I feel again, just like I did tonight. I wouldn’t have ever even thought about opening my mouth about this if you weren’t currently crazy right now.”

“Still not crazy, still not making things up.” I muttered.

“Heh. A part of me is honestly starting to believe that.” She shook her head dismissively.

Oh. Well that’s improvement.

Things went back to being silent again, this time the atmosphere being a bit more comfortable.

The fact that she was willing to admit that she was starting to believe me made me happy. Not sure what I’m gonna do to convince her fully though, before the three month deadline.

Thinking about it now, I have no idea how I’m going to survive in this new world in the event I might never be able to come back. Like, do I keep acting the way I’m acting, or should I try to fit in with the social norms of this new world?

Oh god, am I going to need to start acting more like a girl or something? That’s not gonna be fun...

Maybe it won’t be so bad though. As long as I have Tiffany with me, the only one who knows about my situation, she might be able to get me through this. Somehow. Hopefully. Maybe.

Looking over her once again, I realized something.

I never thanked her for trying to help me out, did I? Not once...

“Tiffany?”

“Sup?”

“Thanks. For looking out for me. I’m basically an alien on a new planet right now, so I probably don’t have any idea what to do. I’m really grateful that you haven’t thrown me in the looney bin yet, and still willing to stick by to help me out.”

Tiffany gave a small smile at that, “You would have done the same for me, I’m sure.”

...

...

...

“Can I admit something to you?” I asked her.

“Shoot. It’s not like I’m falling asleep yet.” Tiffany replied casually.

“I never told this to the Tiffany from my world before, and I don’t think I ever could. So don’t freak out when I tell you this, alright?”

“Sure, I guess. Can’t be any worse than when you told me you’re actually a John Doe from an alternate universe.” She glanced over at me with a curious look, “But why is it something that you can’t tell the other Tiffany about?”

Phew... hoo boy, here it goes. Pent up feelings, weigh me down no longer!

“Back in my world, I have a crush on my cousin, Tiffany Brian.” I finally admitted.

...

I didn’t have to look over to know that she was in shock at the news. In all honestly, I’m still kind of shock myself for deciding to spill the beans like that.

Maybe there was a comfort in confiding with someone you know, who wasn’t actually the same person that you knew. Who knows?

“A... A crush?” She mumbled out.

“I know. People would say that’s weird and gross. I can’t help it though. Tiffany was pretty much my type. She’s spunky and cute, she’s approachable and charming, she’s not afraid to crack a smart ass joke to lighten the atmosphere. She’s the girly tomboy I love that I wish wasn’t directly related to me. I seriously think that if she wasn’t my cousin, I would have asked her out months ago. Maybe years ago. But I can’t, and I won’t. Because she’s my cousin.”

I looked over at her to see that she was giving me the widest saucer plates for eyes that I’ve ever seen on anyone. She couldn’t even speak. Heck, I can’t blame her, especially after dropping a bombshell like that on her all of a sudden.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever told this to. I never mentioned this to any of my friends or anyone I know. I’ve kept this bottled up inside for a good long while now. Honestly, it kind of feels good to let it all out.” I gave her a relieved smile.

“...what made you decide to tell me all of a sudden?” She asked quietly.

“I dunno. Maybe it’s because you’re a Tiffany Brian that’s not my cousin. You just feel like the perfect outlet to reveal all my feelings to. Sorry for suddenly dropping a bombshell like that.”

Tiffany faced up to look at the ceiling, finding it difficult to look at my face, probably. “I see.”

“What about you?”

“Huh?! W-What do you mean?” She nervously sputtered in surprise.

“What about you and your John Doe? Are you in the same boat as me, or what?” Folding my arms behind my head, I smirked, “I’ve seen the way you look at me before. I’m not oblivious. There’s something going on with you and your John Doe, isn’t there? Even if it’s one sided?”

Tiffany began to glow a red blush as she fidgeted in spot. She suddenly faced away from me to look at the wall, effectively blocking me from seeing her reactions.

Did I push it too far? Maybe I should dial it back a bit and stop alienating the one person in this world that could potentially be my only means of survival...

“You don’t have to answer. Sorry for putting you on the spot like that.” I sighed, before facing away myself and closing my eyes, ready to fall asleep.

Let’s just pretend this never happened...

...

...

...

...

...

“...five years...” I could hear a faint whisper from behind.

Turning around, I asked, “What did you say?”

Tiffany faced up at the ceiling again, speaking more clearly. “I’ve been secretly in love with you for the past five years, ever since we first met on Christmas.”

...oh...

Wait, five years?! WHHAT?!

Five years... five years, five years, I’m trying to remember when we ever met five years ago and try to see if I can’t figure out what happened during that time back in my original world...