Should Have Listened To The Big Brain

I finish my story about a half hour before the lunch bell sounds. Off to the mess hall we go where something special has to be happening today because were given spaghetti and meatballs for lunch with a side of garlic bread. With our belly full we return to our cell having picked up an extra guard with us.

As the cell door closes the new guard starts "Word in the mess hall is that you like to tell stories?" Looking at me with a grin on his face "Well you got any set in Italy?"

"I do actually a little tale I like to call "Should Have Listened To My Big Brain!"

"Well then what are you waiting for!"

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Okay maybe I should have listen to the big head instead of the little one “Look this is a little overkill don’t you think!” I couldn’t feel the boat rocking even thought we were in far off the coast. ”Can’t I just say sorry and we’ll let bygones be bygones!”

“Hey Antonio you hear that he thinks saying sorry will right what he done!”

“Yeah well you know it might Mario if it had been anyone but her!”

They talk about her but they don’t give me any clue as to her is. “How about I spend some money and buy a clue from either of you!” Laughing at my reference to “Wheel of Fortune”

“You think this if funny!” Something hard is jammed into my stomach driving the air out of my lungs. As I suck in air I almost **** on fabric that is covering my head. Then I get the only clue I would get.

“Think back to Saturday night dick for brains!” Then another hard shot, this one to the side of my head! When my head clears from the ringing in my ear I do just that, think back to last night

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I just arrived In Palermo from the States,checked into the Al Siculo B&B, asking where could I get some beach sun in piss poor Italian. “Lo Parlo Inglese” comes back and I just look at the moron then “I speak English Senor!”

“Then why didn’t you just fucking say so!’ Calling him dago under my breath

“The best beach is Mondello beach about twenty minutes from here by car, would you like to borrow on from us?”

Was everyone in Palermo as stupid as this dago! “No I plan to walk!” Then “Just how fucking stupid are you?” Waiting for the moron to get me the keys to a car.

Coming back, dropping onto the counter then ducks his head.“Stupido americano, spero che tu affoghi!” Coming back up with a map in his hand. Dropping it he turns his back to me, as if I wasn’t worthy of his attention anymore! “The car is parked out back.

Swiping them out off the counter, along with the map “That’s right the customer is always correct and don’t you forget it!” Walking out to find a beat up old Fiat with cardboard taped to the side passenger window “Ah! your kidding me!” trying the key opening the door “Goddam dagos!” Getting in I start the engine to a blech of black smoke from the rear. Well it’s not my fucking country I’m polluting so who cares right?”.

Looking at the map I start out when, driving the winding road along the coast. Houses passes by that in the States would have been condemned for housing violations. The traffic is heavy for seven at night and as i come to a curve I see a road that is empty of traffic. Turning onto it I’m **** to stop as i see a young girl in her late teens standing hitchhiking

Hope she knows English. I stop and lean out of the driver’s side “Where you going beautiful?” She look at me then at my car, but comes over anyway.

“Vado sulla spiaggia di Mondello, posso prendere un passaggio da te?”

Oh great another one “Doesn’t anyone speak Fucking English here!” my outburst taking her by surprise, she backs up but doesn’t run from me.