Carolyn the Investigator

Chapter 2

Carolyn: “It doesn’t make any sense!“

Paul: It doesn’t, does it? At least, not if you go into it with certain preconceptions.

Carolyn: “Who are you? What are you doing here? I was told I could have this office to work in undisturbed.”

Paul: You’re just full of questions, aren’t you Carolyn! But the only one that matters is ‘Is the universe real?’ And you never even considered it a question, so you’re never going to find the answer to my little project.

Carolyn: “What are you… You’re Paul Halloran! You’re the one I was brought in to investigate! God, what on earth did you do? I can’t make heads or tails of it!”

Paul: It’s because you’re going in with the wrong assumptions, Carolyn. You assume you’re real and living in a real universe. But many physicists and philosophers have speculated that if any intelligent beings persists for long enough, they will inevitably develop life simulations of such sophistication that those within them would be unaware they were in a simulation.

Carolyn: “That’s nonsense!”

Paul: Perhaps. But if it were possible, simple probability would dictate that we’re much more likely to be in a simulation than in a physical reality, since each intelligent being might create multiple simulations, while only one universe was real, inhabited by these intelligence.

Carolyn: “Even if that were true, what difference would it make? We’re in the reality that we’re in! And does Ms. Sanford know you’re talking to me?”

Paul: Monique doesn’t know much of anything right now. But she’s a happy little whore. And as to your first question, it wouldn’t make any difference unless someone within the simulation was clever enough to hack into the code running the simulation and make some alterations to it. I’ve confirmed the simulation hypothesis with my little project that’s giving you such trouble. i could probably win a Nobel Prize in Physics. But I decided to build this little cell phone app instead.

Carolyn: “What are you... You can't just..."

Carolyn: “Oh, Hi, Mr. Halloran!”

Paul: Hi Carolyn! How’s my favorite college intern!

Carolyn: “Am I really your favorite, Mr. Halloran? <giggle>”

Paul: Well, you’ve got the biggest tits, so it only stands to reason!

Carolyn: “<giggle> Mr. Haaalllorrannn! That’s sexual haraaaasssssment! <giggle>”

Paul: It only counts as harassment if you don’t like it, Carolyn. And you like it, don’t you, you little nympho.

Carolyn: “I love it! <giggle>”

Paul: How are you coming on that project Ms. Sanford gave you?

Carolyn: “Oh god! I got no clue what the fuck it even is she wants me to do! You won’t let her fire me, will you Mr. Halloran? I’d just hate it if I didn’t get to come in and see you every day!”

Paul: Oh, I don’t think you need to worry your pretty lil’ head about Monique, Carolyn. And since her project isn't who is nwgoing anywhere, I might have a job that is more in keeping with your obvious talents.

Carolyn: “Oooooh! <giggle> I just LOVE doing jobs for you, Mr. Halloran!”