The Hacker

Chapter 1

Monique: “Thanks for coming up from IT, Paul.”

Paul: Of course, Monique. I’m always glad to talk to management.

Monique: “Yes, well, I guess we’ll see about that. As you know, our systems have been bogging down for several weeks now. Since you and your team weren’t able to identify the problem, I brought in an outside contractor to investigate.”

Paul: You did? Without even telling me?

Monique: “Well telling you would’ve defeated the purpose, wouldn’t it Paul? I mean, given that the whole problem was due to your running some sort of personal project on our servers that was eating up bandwidth like a glutton, I’m pretty sure the problem would’ve gotten hidden had you known about the outside investigator.”

Paul: Well sure, but the projects done anyway so all the systems are back to normal. No harm no foul!

Monique: “No harm no foul? You can’t be serious, Paul. You’ve cost this company thousands of dollars. And on a personal project.”

Paul: Yes, Monique, but it’s a great personal project! Are you familiar with the hypothesis that the universe is a computer simulation?

Monique: “I’ve heard of that but I don’t see how it’s relevant to your ass being fired.”

Paul: Because, Monique, if the universe is a computer simulation, that means it can be hacked. And I figured out how to hack it. The only problem was the massive amount of computing power that was required. But once I was in, I realized that I could just rewrite the rules of the universe so that any future hacking could be done on my smart phone. I designed my own app. Want to see how it works?

Monique: “No I don’t want to see how it works! Put that away! What are you doiing..."

Monique: “i’m sorry Paul, what was we talkin’ about? I spaced there for a second, .”

Paul: You were just telling mehow glad you were that I came up here from IT to see you, Monique.

Monique: “Oh god yes! You know how horny I get when you leave me up here all by my lonesome.”

Paul: I know, you’re an insatiable slut, Monique, but I just finished off the project that was taking so much of my time so I should have a lot more time to serve you the D going forward.

Monique: “Oh baby, that’s what I like to hear!”

Paul: Afterword, I’m gonna need to talk to those outside investigators you brought in, though, and see how much of my project they figured out.

Monique: “Huh? Oh Paul, baby, I don’t even know what you talkin’ about. I don’t remember no investigators.”

Paul: Oh, that’s OK Monique. I can probably find it on your computer.

Monique: “I don’t even know why they gave me that thing. A girl don’t come to work dressed like this to be working on no computer. ”

Paul: You’re probably right about that, Monique. Once I get the information I need to use my little app to refurnish your office.