Life Gets Weird

John and Liam said their goodbyes as they headed to their separate homerooms. Without bothering to stop at his locker to store anything (instead swapping items from his inventory to his backpack when no one was looking), he arrived at the biology lab early. Concrete walls painted white, stomach high workstations with black tabletops, and a lingering hint of formaldehyde, it was a pretty standard setup. John took a seat against the far wall.
Where he might have been daydreaming about wielding oversized swords, defeating dragons, and saving damsels in distress, today John was deeply introspective.

As it is, the only active skill I have is Observe. If I can’t figure out how to learn new skills, I need to figure out how to use it proactively. Right now the most valuable information I can get is if someone has a title. Looks like the rumors are true and Vanessa has Frank’s balls on a leash, I might be able to use that. But not everyone has a title, if they even have a useful one. It doesn’t take a deductive genius to figure out that Liam is a nerd. In those cases, the only thing I have to go on is their class and level, nothing I can work with. I’m going to need to level Observe up as much as possible, maybe then it can start telling me secrets. Desires, emotions, measurements… fetishes?

“Good morning, John,” came a sultry voice. “You look distressed today, everything alright?”

John looked up to see the woman of his dreams standing over his desk. June Summers, John’s homeroom teacher and Ashcroft Academy’s premiere art instructor. She was also the hottest woman John had ever seen in his life. She was tall and leggy, as was clearly on display by the short dresses she wore, always pulled taut at June’s wide and swaying hips. A tiny waist, high cheeks, beautiful green eyes, pouty lips, and draping brown hair all served to stir the desires of countless Ashcroft students. All of them paled in comparison to what was undeniably June Summers’ greatest asset, the largest set of tits John had ever seen in person. Sure, he’d seen bigger on the internet, but they were usually fake or pulled low by the weight of gravity. June’s incredible tits obeyed no such laws, always round, jiggly, and jutting proudly from her chest. Today she wore a black blazer over a dress of colorful, swirling brushstrokes, but the deep V-cut of her dress and the necklace placed just at the top of her cleavage ensured that June’s breasts were always the focus of attention. As ever, John could feel his erection beginning to intrude on a perfectly ordinary conversation.

“John?” she asked again when he didn’t answer right away, touching a hand to his shoulder. June often made light physical contact with her students, and even a touch from her was electrifying.

“Hm? Oh, good morning, June,” John said. Ms. Summers had always preferred to be called by her first name. She felt that it was too formal otherwise, saying it made her feel older than she was. To be fair, it was impossible to determine her age. She looked to be in her mid twenties, but the way she spoke and carried herself indicated that she should be in her thirties, at the least. Of course, no one would dare ask her.

“I’m fine. I was just thinking about a puzzle in a game I’m stuck on. It’s been driving me nuts,” John lied, again.

“Always with those games,” June sighed, playful. “When will you have the time to write the next chapter if you’re always playing those games of yours?”

“I’m sorry?” John sputtered.

“Just keep up the good work, Jihan,” June replied, walking to the front desk with a swing in her hips and a brazenly flirty wink.

...What!?

John could swear June giggled as she cast one last look at his stunned expression. Jihan was his go-to handle online. Nobody but the people he gamed with knew that name. They certainly didn’t know about the porn comics he put up as Jihan, even Liam had to pry that one out of him. So how the hell did his art teacher know? John felt the sudden urge to run, but the bell to signal the beginning of class rang the moment he glanced at the door. Without any other choice, John returned his attention to the front of the room.

-
June Summers
Level 10 Temptress
[Better Tits Than You]
RP: +69
-

Hot shit! +69? That can’t be accurate, can it?

“Welcome back to Ashcroft everyone,” June greeted the students with brilliant smile. “I hope you all enjoyed your winter break and are ready to get back to work with fresh minds and bodies.”

Any other teacher would be met with groans and rolling eyes, but not June. June was beloved by the student body, especially by anyone with even an inkling of desire for the female form. She could even get polite acknowledgement out of a group of disgruntled teens with such a tired, old welcome.

Which, to John, was odd. June was as dazzling as ever, and anything less than a room full of cheerful energy meeting her smile was a tame response. June herself, despite her stunning appearance, seemed somehow off. Maybe no one else noticed, but John spent more time around June than most, and he could tell that she was not as genuine as usual. There was a sliver of hesitation behind her words.

“I have some good news for everyone. Take your dingy old textbooks and toss them in the fireplace!” June cheered, spreading her arms high, consequently bouncing her massive endowments in a display that woke John from his thoughts. June brought her arms down and crossed them, sternly adding, “Metaphorically, that is. The school needs to properly categorize and inventory the old books for donation and recycling. Please do not actually burn any of your textbooks or other Academy property.”

“Now,” June went on, prim but pleasant in demeanor. “Go ahead and put any of your old books in the boxes at the back of the room. I don’t expect you to hand in all your books right now. With the amount of texts we expect you to read, you’d break your backs carrying them all at once.” June laughed, and this time so did the room, even if it was a little half-hearted. “Drop off your old books in any collection box and pick up your new ones in each classroom as you go. Now, your first class is Bio, so you’ve probably figured out that those books piled by the windowsill are your new Biology textbooks. Make sure to grab one before you sit down.”

Students did as they were instructed, listlessly dumping their heavy books into haphazard piles. John followed suit but blinked curiously at the window that emerged the moment he touched the new text.

-
Biology 101
Item - Skill Book
Teaches the spell “Alter Body”. Item is consumed on use.
Use? <Yes/No>
Skill Book slots remaining: 3/3
-

John read the window as he returned to his seat, pretending to stare at the cover.

Guess it didn’t take long to figure out how to learn new skills. As tempted as I am to just hit yes, I’ve already been warned to be careful. Let’s see…

-
Skill Book
Item - Consumable
A mundane text of useful information. Confers the knowledge of all of its contents to the user, as well as a related Skill or Spell.
Knowledge imbued does not include complete understanding or practical application of the material, only the literal text as presented.
Note: One Skill Book slot gained per level.
-

And…

-
Alter Body, Lv. 1
50mp, Biomancy
Range: 5 feet
Permanently Augment or Diminish one aspect of an organic body by 5%. Stacks up to (Skill lv) times per body part.
-

That settles that! 6 years of small dick angst, begone!

John placed the book in his bag as he tapped ‘Yes’, just incase the book literally disappeared as he used it. To his surprise it did not, but more surprising was the flood of information that surged through his brain. John learned the entirety of the Biology 101 course material in an instant, information about cellular division, organ systems, and skeletal structure parked itself neatly into his brain. He understood the warning regarding the understanding of the material as well. While he could recall a fact about any part in his body, he did not instinctively know how that fact related to the other information he now possessed. Fortunately, John was always bright, and what he did not already know was easy to piece together with a little cross referencing. The influx of a year’s worth of education felt amazing.

-
<New Spell!>
Alter Body
-

Without further delay, John cast Alter Body on his dick. He felt simultaneously drained and empowered. The mana left… wherever it was stored, which was a uniquely fatiguing experience, and flowed between his legs. Besides the euphoria of what felt like a minor orgasm, he didn’t feel really different. 5% wasn’t much on its own, but John knew what Skill he would be power leveling as soon as possible.

“Thank you, God.”

-
<Achievement Unlocked!>
Reading is Fun!
Read your first Skill Book. Also: wrong gender, kid.
+1 INT
+1 WIS
-
<Achievement Unlocked!>
Infinite Cosmic Power!
Cast your first Spell.
+1 MP Regen per minute
-

“Thank you, Goddess,” John muttered dutifully, with emphasis on the last syllable.

-
<Achievement Unlocked!>
That’s a Good Boy
Have a Biscuit!
+1 CHA
+1 ‘Gamer Treat’
-

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” John sighed. Inside his inventory was a single bone shaped dog treat with the words ‘Good Boy’ imprinted on it. He groaned and closed every window crowding his vision before pulling the book back out of his bag. He did not understand why it wasn’t ‘consumed’ like the item description said until he opened it. It was blank, and not just the first page. Every last page of the book was devoid of any text or image, even the page numbers.

“Excuse me, June?” John raised his hand. “I think mine has been misprinted. It’s empty.”

“Oh?” June stepped over to John’s desk, bending over far more than necessary to take a look. John tried not to stare into her cleavage and failed spectacularly.

“I’ll take this one, go ahead and grab a new one, we have plenty,” June said after flipping through a few pages. She picked up the empty book and addressed the class on her way back to the front, “Everyone, check to make sure your books are printed correctly. Let me know if you have any problems.”

The rest of homeroom passed without note. John was exhausted despite his confusion. He wasn’t surprised; he figured this was probably an effect of being so low on mana. He had next to nothing left, so he spent the period blatantly staring at June.

John sighed in resignation when Mr. Stone entered the room to prepare for their biology class. The biology teacher was painfully ordinary. White shirt, blue tie, black everything else, including a pair of thick-rimmed glasses. It was as if the man was deliberately trying to be generic. Perhaps the only characteristic worth noting were the wings of graying hair above his ears.

And so, John waved goodbye to June as she left and slumped his head on his desk with a thud. In terms of eye candy, Mr. Stone wasn’t exactly a suitable replacement for her.