Holy shit!

‘No. No. Absolutely not.’

Sarah is shaking her head so hard her glasses are becoming dislodged. ‘No,’ she repeats, ‘Emma, darling. I simply cannot encourage this.’

‘I thought it was completely mad too, at first,’ Emma confesses, looking as awkward as you’ve ever seen her. ‘But… Emma Stone, I mean, she sort of talked me into it. And after all, isn’t it… if someone’s threatening to expose you, isn’t it the best thing to do to show them that you don’t care? That you’re not afraid? That it’s your body,’ Emma’s growing more confident now, ‘and it’s not something to be ashamed of – I mean, I’m a woman, for God’s sake, I’m a consenting adult. And what I choose to do with my body is my own business. I’d never shame someone else for showing their tits in a magazine, not if that was what they wanted to do – they’d have every right, it’s their body. They’d own it, and… so do I.’

Emma looks a little out-of-breath, but quite satisfied now she’s finished her impromptu speech. Sarah just sits back in her chair, looking harried. A strand of wispy hair floats down in front of her wire-framed spectacles, unnoticed.

‘Emma. Darling. I just… if this really is something you want.’ Sarah looks unconvinced, but you can see her turning over the likely PR coup in her mind. ‘I mean, I’m sure it would sweep these – leaks – off the front page, absolutely, it’s just that…’

Beside you, Emma takes a deep breath.

‘I know. I know it’s not something I can take back. And to be perfectly honest, it’s not something I’d even have considered twenty-four hours ago.’ Emma wraps her arms tightly around herself.

‘But either I fight back, or I hide in shame while the world gawks at my body. And I’m sorry, but… I’m just not having that. I refuse to be humiliated. Emma Stone was right – I can run away from this, or I can own it. There is no third option.’

‘Sure there is,’ you offer, attempting to bring some levity to the room. ‘I can find Justin and boot him so high he burns up on re-entry. Might not get rid of the pictures, but I bet it’d make you feel better.’

Emma sends you an affectionate, but exasperated look. ‘No, James. I appreciate the thought, but… we don’t know who’s responsible for this. And even if we did, that’s not the way to handle it.’