The Moment Soon Passes

The laughter finally subsides. Fiona stands and wipes the tears from her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief.

You set Chloe down and she hurries to go help your nattering mother clean up the mess.

"Fuckin crazy Chloe, eh?" Fiona claps your shoulder. "Nice car bro!"

You turn on her and slap her hand off of you violently. A reaction that surprised even you. Then you remind yourself what you had learned about her. About what she had done.

Fiona pulls her hand back and holds it. She looks at you. "Fuck! I was just telling you I liked your car!"

"I told you not to touch me again." You say in a low voice, keeping this between just you and her. "Or Elsie."

Fiona looks at you for a long time, just taking your measure. She could see that you were not fucking around or backing down.

You step closer. "She told me Fiona. She fucking told me what you did."

Fiona swallows hard but her gaze never wavers. "Not my proudest moment." She says at a whisper. "Better me than Mom. I was a lot smaller back then."

"You fucker!" You growl.

She finally looks away, unable to keep her ice cold facade. She sighs and shakes her head. "So now what? Now what Mr White Knight? You gonna kick my ass?" Was that a question or an invitation? "Go ahead Jesse. Go ahead. Do it! Hit me Jesse. Hurt me back. Hurt me Jesse. Do it for Elsie you little bitch."

You shake your head. "No, no ****." She almost looks disappointed. "I promised El. I'm gonna beat you on this stupid wager and you'll be hers. I'll leave you to her...if she even wants you."

"You won't win. You never win." She says.

"I will this time." You swear.

"Nah. You'll lose and then you'll be mine. All mine. And then I'll use you as I wish."

You and her continue to square up, face to face.

Fiona takes another deep breath. "Jesse..." You see her face flinch, her facade crack, but it immediately smooths out again. "...why...why are you fucking around with this Casey bitch? You JUST got rid of that slut Allison for fuck sake. Elsie's your ****. Most men would die for that! She's gorgeous. Don't you see how happy she is with you Jesse? She's crazy about you bro." She goes to take you by the shoulder but thinks better of it, she lowers her hand again. "Family isn't going to leave you Jesse. Can't you see that? You don't need Allie or Casey or anyone. Try being with Elsie. Or Mom or Chloe or...any of us. Just try it. Go to Elsie Jesse."

"Family doesn't leave? Dad's not here anymore, is he?"

Her eyes narrow. "Fuck you!"

"I'm just saying. Anyone can leave at any time. There are no guarantees. Family or no. El is over at Peg's now. I'm not sure she's coming back."

"She'll come back." Fiona states. "She wants to be with you."

"Be with me? Fiona stop it." You sneer contemptuously. "She's my sister Fiona. She...is...my...sister! That is it and that is enough."

"It's better! Don't you understand?" Fiona leans in. "Jesse, we don't care about your short comings. Not really. Not like they do. Like the outside world does. The outside world will always judge you and hurt you brother. You'll never be enough for them."

"So what, I should be with you? The outside world will hurt me? Fiona, you hurt El more than anyone out there could ever do. Ever! You fucked me up pretty bad too!" You step back from her. "You're my family Fiona. Elsie too. I don't want you guys in that way. Fuck. You're as bad as she is." You motion toward your mother who was still collecting trash. "Elsie is right to hate you. You should be hated. You don't deserve her love. Or mine."

You catch it...just a moment...just a tiny tremble of her bottom lip and a twitch of the eye. You hurt her. You hurt her bad. Real bad. You struck straight through and pierced deep into whatever it is she called a heart.

She stands up straight. Nods. Then turns and walks back into the house.

"Fiona...wait..." You start to say. Fuck, you didn't mean it to come out like that. You'd just been so angry.

The front door slams. After a moment you shake your head angrily. Well...fuck her. After what she did. Fuck her!

Still...that hadn't been nice...you didn't feel good about that.

You missed the laughter...that had been a nice moment.

Your mother and cousin was rolling the trash can back to the front of the house. They had cleaned up as best they could. Chloe had a set of keys in her hand and was bringing them to you.