Hey dummy, remember those pictures your boss took?

We were in a crowd of fancily-dressed people who were chatting and drinking with each other then found themselves staring up at a dais that featured our friend Ruby. For this occasion her hair was tied back with a gold comb with matching earrings and she was wearing a green spaghetti-strap dress with some exotic floral pattern that showed a lot of cleavage.

It was a large space and from wall to wall, all of the pictures and artwork were covered up by a curtain or a sliding panel; poised for the big reveal. There were even very large blown-up pictures that were covered up at the back of the dais and in certain corners of the gallery ranging from ten feet to twenty feet high. The largest one was directly behind Ruby herself at probably thirty feet. Man, this gallery was huge.

Ming Zhao kept complaining how chilly it was in here so I wrapped my blazer around her shoulders. She leaned her back into me at the gesture and I snuggled in close to give her neck a kiss.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Ruby had never looked so professional as long as I had known her. I noticed that Ruby mostly had female admirers in the crowd and every single one of them were enthralled by her every word as she continued her speech. "It brings me great pleasure to see so many of you could make it to my unveiling. As you well know, the most popular pictures that I take are the ones that convey a certain emotion. Be it happiness, sadness, anger, or some of the least common emotions you see on photo. Today at this gallery, I will be revealing a great deal of my most challenging--yet most rewarding--pieces that I have taken over the past several months. What made these pictures so challenging, was that I could not find a proper subject to convey my desired emotion: embarrassment." As I heard the word slide off her tongue, I was suddenly the one in the room who was chilly. "Thankfully, a handsome angel with no secrets, descended upon me and literally lifted me up out of out of my funk. Baring all he had before me, I...persuaded...him to become my model to capture the essence of embarrassment itself." All of this sounded frighteningly familiar. "I assure you, my angel had nothing to be ashamed of as I exposed all of his emotions before my camera but the fact that he still was, made this experience so much more enjoyable. But why discuss it any further when you could see it for yourself? I hope you remembered on the invitation that this event was for people 18 or older." A mechanical noise signaled that in that instant, every curtain was torn away, every panel slid back, and basically every cover that concealed Ruby's numerous pictures on every wall of this gallery revealed what they were hiding simultaneously. "My dearest friends, I give you...Red-faced Superman!"

There I was...there, and there, and there, and there, and...everywhere! On every wall of this entire gallery, in every nook and cranny, in front of dozens--maybe even hundreds--of people were embarrassing naked pictures...of ME! The largest picture that was placed on the dais behind Ruby was revealed last after all the other pictures came to light. My heart sank as I saw tarp that was draped over it fall to the ground. I felt as if the spectacle were happening in slow motion as the tarp tortuously revealed my reddened face, my bare shoulders, my well-defined pecs, my rock-hard abs, my adonis belt, my waist, my...my erect...penis, my thighs, my knees, my calves, then finally my bare feet. My entire naked body, doing a superman pose on a thirty-foot, high definition photograph in front of countless strangers.

There was a collective gasp in the room as everyone in this mostly female audience took-in the sight of the picture of the thirty-foot naked man on the stage. There were expressions of wonder, delight, surprise, and awe as these ladies absorbed the sight of my nudity in every corner of the gallery. Everyone was so mesmerized by all of the naked pictures of me on the walls they did not even take a moment to realize that the real thing actually stood among them. I had to act fast.

"Whoa, Ahab!" Ming Zhao laughed. "I had no idea you were going to be the star of this event!"

"Uh, yeah neither did I," I let go of Ming Zhao, my face turning as red as it did on the day I did that superman pose for Ruby. I hoped my intense blushing didn't make me more recognizable. "Um, I-I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick."

Ducking my head down so no one would see me, I accidentally ran into a cocktail waitress who was serving drinks. Her coaster of **** splashed all over me giving my shirt a huge red stain and soaking my pants. Definitely not the look you want to keep you unnoticed.

"Oh my God! Sir! Are you alright!?" Trying to be polite, the server whipped out a napkin to dry my face. I guess she was panicked that she might get fired for spilling **** over me even though it happened because of my blunder. "I did not see you there. I was just bringing drinks when you..." she paused for a moment, eyes lighting up with familiarity. "Hey, do I know you from somewhere?" She turned her head to the corner where one of the blown-up pictures of me flexing my biceps in the buff was propped up. She looked back at me.

I was NOT going to give her the time to recognize me from these humiliating photographs. I dashed away and slipped through the first door I could find.