Ming Zhao has an idea...

I trudged out the door wearing nothing but my red bike shorts. I was too depressed to even care that the crowd of bystanders hadn't even had time to disperse yet. I just wanted to get dressed and...WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CLOTHES...!?

The box out front that held my belongings had disappeared. So there I was, standing outside with a horde of female admirers whipping out their camera phones. All of them eyed me hungrily like a fresh piece of meat; some were even licking their lips. I blushed at this unwanted attention. Not even knowing if I should cover myself, I stood there silently praying somebody, anybody, would come to my rescue.

For the first time that day, someone actually did.

A blue Porsche came cruising down the street right behind my voyeurs. It honked its horn and rolled the window down. Inside, was the most beautiful woman in the world. "Ahab," Ming Zhao called out "hurry get in here!

She didn't have to tell me twice. I dashed through the crowd trying to elbow my way through but that did not give me the desired response. Instead, the women got more aggressive. They slid their palms against my chest, took turns squeezing my butt, some even pulled the back of my bike shorts so they would recoil with a loud snap! OUCH!

Panting heavily with my shorts hanging half-off my ass, I finally managed to make it to Ming Zhao's car and slammed the door behind me. Thankfully none of the women were bold enough to jump through the window.

"Thank God you're here," I brushed a hair out of Ming Zhao's face "You saved me from a stampede out there and you wouldn't believe it– I just got fired!" I pouted as I recalled my most recent misfortune.

"Oh Ahab, I'm so sorry." Ming Zhao placed a consoling hand on my shoulder.

"Oh man, I just got canned!" The truth of that statement was finally sinking in. "What am I supposed to do now? I got to get a job." I wasn't expecting an actual answer to my sulking but I got one anyway. Ming Zhao snaked her hands into the front of my bike shorts and began fumbling them around as if she were searching for something. The sensation of her hands groping my privates once again spread another embarrassing blush across my body.

"Whoa whoa whoa, Ming Zhao," I moaned "I could use the cheering up but..." Ming Zhao produced Ruby's business card from my crotch. With everything happening around me so quickly, I nearly forgot about it's existence. Then I caught on to what she was trying to get at. "Oh no, no no no no no no no no! I wont even consider it! That woman has more than enough naked pictures of me! You cannot persuade me to work for her full-time!"