Reaping Rewards

John stifled a yawn as the last of the goblins in the latest iteration of the barrier was vanquished. They’d been grinding for over eight hours, resulting in the demise of many unfortunate goblins. Yes, after several failed attempts at bartering, John threw in the towel and picked up the sword. John shouldn’t really have expected things to go any other way.

Truth be told, it was a pretty hopeless plan in the first place, to try and barter without anything that would properly appeal to the goblins other than the forfeit of his life. The botched attempt at bartering with Kringlewart had, at the very least, revealed that the monsters Gaia put in the barriers John created weren’t yet ‘alive’ in the same sense he, Red, or even the dessert fairy, Saccharine, were. This allowed John to grind away with a (mostly) clear conscience; he couldn’t quite shake the guilt that he was denying these creatures life. But when they had to **** him to achieve it, what could he do? It did beg the question of whether Pigfucker was a similar construct to the goblins; John would have loved to believe so, but Gaia had explicitly stated in the Observe window that he’d been hunting people in her barrier.

“I don’t understand… why are they carrying around vials of their se--bodily fluids?” Moira grimaced as she watched John collect the vials and stored them in his inventory, interrupting his pondering. “They truly must be twisted and perverted at heart.”

‘Nope, it’s actually the Lady you worship that makes them, so I guess you could say she’s the one that’s a pervert at heart,’ John thought, though he had the tact not to say it out loud. “Actually, it’s another aspect of my powers,” John said instead. “Enemies drop items just like in a game. Same with EXP and cash, though those accumulate straight into my stat sheet and bank account rather than manifest physically.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, power such as that simply does not exist in people!” Moira insisted.

“I’m not lying to you, Moira,” John replied, a little annoyed that she was still doubting him. “The evidence is there for you to see. Look, she even gave me a star sticker...”

“But it can’t possibly be… it would require the blessing of a being with extraordinary power to maintain such an effect…”

John glanced at her with amusement. “A being like the Lady, perhaps?”

“B-but…” the Warden stuttered. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she found her voice again. “But if this is true, then why did you not reveal your blessing earlier?!” she demanded.

“Well, think about how you reacted when I first told you: you were offended and doubted me. So how well do you think it would have gone down if I dropped that bomb when I met your father?”

“I…” Moira looked down with clenched fists and thought for a few long seconds. “I must inform my father of this!” she announced.

“Wait, Moira,” John said in alarm. “I’d really rather you didn’t.”

“Why not?! You’d be accepted within the Order, even become a celebrated and influential figure, and then nobody would dispute it if I...” her voiced faded away as a heavy blush formed on her cheeks.

“If you what?”

“Nevermind!” she yelled abruptly as her blush intensified. “Just hurry up and make another barrier!”

John watched her with bemusement before he prepared to relaunch the goblin barrier. He’d certainly rather the goblins be on the receiving end of the hammer than him.

I.D. Creation Error: rerouting to Rat I.D.
We've run out of goblins, so you get Rats Of Unusual Size instead.

“Are you kidding?” he grumbled as he read the notification. “What kind of game runs out of enemies to grind?”

This one, jackass! Be grateful for what you got and learn to grind responsibly. I mean, you’ve been snatching the poor goblins’ semen, so how were they supposed to reproduce? That 33 Intellect isn’t seeing much use, is it?

“What happened?” Red asked as she sniffed the air. “I can’t sense any goblins… but I hear scuttling. I think they’re rats.”

“Yeah, the dev just told me they’ve ‘run out of goblins’,” John told the party as he pulled them all out of the barrier with Escape I.D. They arrived safely back in the apartment the Order was lending them. “With that in mind, I figure we’ve done enough for today,” John continued. “I’m gonna go sell the stuff we collected on Abyss Auction, but thanks for your help today, girls.”

“Okay then,” Red replied cheerily. “I’m famished, so Saccha and I will get started on supper. Moira, you’re welcome to stay!”

The Warden seemed momentarily surprised by the gesture. “That is very gracious, thank you,” she smiled.

“Well after all you’ve done for us, it’s the least we could do,” Red smiled brightly, before heading into the kitchen.

John meanwhile sat down at the living room table and opened the Abyss Auction Website on his phone. He hadn’t yet made the trip to his house to grab the essentials, including his laptop. However, his phone would be perfectly adequate for what he needed to do. The evening’s grinding had already netted him $700 just in the change dropped by the Goblins. He’d also managed to acquire five full stacks of the Semen Vials, comprised of five each, as well as one additional stack of three. Last time they had sold for three hundred dollars per vial, so if that was anything to go buy, then John estimated his earnings would amount to $11,000. Of course, that would change with Abyss Auctions fees, but it was still more than enough for the initial $6,000 John needed to pay Kami. It could’ve been more if the semen vials weren’t a rare drop and/or if Gaia hadn’t stopped him from grinding for them.

After putting the items up for sale, John put away his phone away and opened his stat sheet. Aside from financial gain, there had been several other boons to John’s evening grinding. One such benefit was levelling up three whole times, making his current level 12. His Strength, Agility, and Wisdom had all also improved a little bit, by way of achievements. Finally, his skills had also levelled significantly. John had tried experimenting with the range of his skills, meaning that he even levelled skills such as Sneaking and Possession. Overall, John’s stats now looked like this.

A solid evening’s work as far as John was concerned, and once the Semen Vials sold, he’d have completed the Money Grubber quest, netting him those rewards on top of what he’d already reaped. As far as real life went, it was absurd how quickly John could potentially grow. What it would take normal people weeks if not months to gain, John would do in a few hours.

Amazingly, it was only a matter of minutes before the Semen Vials were sold again. It was the same buyer as last time, leading John to reason that the buyer had kept an eye on John’s account after he, she, or it had bought the first batch.

Quest complete: Money Grubber
Acquire the necessary funds to make the upfront payment for a weapon from Kami.
Current: 10,946.79 / 6,000.00
Rewards:
500 EXP
2 Stat Points

The final figure was about $800 lower than his estimate, but that difference seemed negligible when he considered how quickly he’d earned the other $10,200.00. Now the question remained of where to put his 17 stat points. After his visit to Nancy’s library and subsequent success in negotiating with Lord Brighton, John could really see the benefit of Charisma. For that reason, he put a whole 10 points into the stat, making it his highest stat even before the boost Gaia’s star sticker gave him.

How to spend the remaining seven points was much more difficult to decide upon. Every stat was tempting in its own way, even Libido if he was serious about his dreams of becoming some sort of sexual god. But ultimately, practicality won over potential pleasure as John decided to invest the points in Agility and Endurance, four and three respectively. His reason for the former was that he mostly relied on speed in battle, while the latter ensured that he had a girthier health bar. With that finalised, John was feeling pretty satisfied. He’d well and truly done all he needed to for tomorrow’s meeting with the Kami representative, and now he had a dinner with two pretty girls and a snappy fae to look forward too.