While the John’s away.

Somewhere, on top of a dark hill, a voluptuous, elegant gorgon stood flanked by a majestic spotted leopard and a thickly armored pangolin, the three of them staring off into the distance, watching a large tower shrouded by layers of mist off on another hill.

“There it is, the tower of evil bad stuff,” the gorgon hissed, pointing at the tower, her snakes slithering menacingly. The leopard growled as he braced himself, his sleek muscular body ready to move into action at a moment's notice. On her other side, the pangolin curled up into a ball, a layer of rock forming around her, creating a small slope for herself, preparing to move out as well.

As they prepared, a group of green minions appeared at the bottom of the hill, raising their weapons, screaming in a foreign language, pointing at the three heroes atop the mountain. “Sqreee!” they screamed as they charged up the hill.

“Attack!” the gorgon yelled as she dashed down the hill, wielding a small set of daggers, slashing through two of the dozens of minions seconds upon jumping into the battle. The leopard was the next to charge into the fight, a large blizzard appearing around him as he roared at the sky, dashing down the hill as the cold winds beat down upon the enemies. His claws swiped through his foes wherever he went, cutting down the forces with the ease of cutting wheat. Finally, the pangolin moved, rolling down the hill with a thunderous crash, the ground vibrating as she picked up speed. She easily flattened five enemies before with a loud screaming peep the boulder with her in the center exploded, sending stone shrapnel flying all around them.

Amidst the deadly stone spikes flying around, the constant moving daggers and occasional petrifying gaze and the cutting winds and claws, the group of minions collapsed in piles of ichor, green sap flowing from them as they fell onto the ground utterly beaten.

“Muhahaha, even these vegiterrorans are no match for us! We will slay the evil man with great ease!” the gorgon cackled, wiping her daggers on the cloak of one of the minions, kicking it to make sure it was dead.

Without batting an eyelid, the trio then moved on, the pangolin casually turning the steep hillside into a comfortable staircase which the three of them promptly scaled.

As they moved up the hill in between them and the hill with the large, spooky tower on top of it, a loud scream could be heard from up in the clouds. A gigantic purple bird dove down, lightning crackling in between its feathers as he dove for the gorgon, trying to lift her up as the pangolin and leopard sprung into action once again. The leopard hissed, slamming his front paws into the ground of the hill. Large, heavy chains of ice shot from the ground, aiming to bind the thunderbird, wrapping around its legs to prevent it from taking off. The pangolin dug into the ground, as fast as possible digging a hole for herself. When the hole was deep enough, she rolled up and jumped into it, a large boulder coming from below, shooting her up into the sky, a loud peep coming from her as she used her heavy armor to slam into the back of the thunderbird. Due to her mastery over earth and rock, she was confident that she would not conduct any lightning. With the meteorite like pangolin slamming into its back, the thunderbird let out a mournful wail, dropping the gorgon as he himself was smashed savagely onto the hill. His eyes twitched slightly, electricity sparking around him, but the pangolin would have nothing of it. With a triumphant squeek, the earth rose up, starting to cover the grounded bird, swallowing it up until only its head and beak could be seen, sticking out of the hill like an easter island statue in bird form.

The thunderbird let out a sad cry as the trio promptly ignored it, moving forward on their epic quest. The gorgon patting both the leopard and the pangolin in thanks. “You did amazing! Both of you! Hooray for not being snakenapped!”

The pangolin and leopard mewed and peeped in agreement, patting her right back as they stared up at the tall, mysterious tower. The mist coiled around it like a bunch of snakes. When they approached it, a man appeared atop of it; wielding a large axe in his hands, he yelled, “All that approach shall meet my axe! For I, Tim the barbarian, shall slay all that come before me!”

The barbarian jumped down, swinging his axe at the gorgon, her snakes hissing angrily as they bit into the axe, their venom dissolving part of it while their jaws prevented him from pulling it loose.

“It’s of no trouble! I still have this!” he yelled as he kicked the gorgon back, pulling a heavy sword from his pants, waving it around as he stared menacingly at the two animals. The gorgon’s snakes were too busy dissolving the axe to actually notice the barbarian had let go of his weapon.

The leopard growled as he tried to swipe at the sword, covering its paws with chunks of ice, only for it to have no effect; the sword broke through it, slightly wounding his paws as he winced, pulling back.

The pangolin fared no better, throwing boulders at it and trying to use the power of the earth to trap him. The barbarian laughed heartily, jumping from left to right, never staying in the same place for too long, dodging both the boulders and the spikes coming from below.

The two animals looked at each other, nodding in understanding as they ran to each other, the barbarian looking on in confusion as the Pangolin jumped on the back of the leopard, the two of them letting out synchronized screeches and roars, a huge blizzard filled with floating rocks surrounding them, growing in intensity as the two animals glowed in respectively blue and brown. The harder they roared and peeped, the larger the storm became. Just as they were about to unleash it on the barbarian, the gorgon appeared behind him, slitting his throat with the daggers.

“Yay! I killed it! I won! We won! The evil bad man is dead! We did it!” she yelled happily, dancing around as the corpse of the barbarian fell to the floor in front of her.

The pangolin and leopard looking slightly miffed before pouncing on top of their companion, licking her face as they let out happy sounds, the three of them giggling and making merry when a tired, gruff voice rang from nearby.