Natalia: Fresh Abandonment

As the car turned from the interstate I was suddenly smack dab in Newark, and I could instantly feel that I didn't belong. It wasn't Newark's fault; in the past six years of my life I'd lived in nine different states. From Oregon to West Virginia, from Massachusetts to New Mexico. All memories more fleeting than the one that came before it. I'd seen it all, but recalled none of it. Friends became mannequins, enemies became distant nightmares. It didn't really seem to matter what I did or how I acted, I knew that I wasn't going to connect to anyone there. Even if we never moved again, how much could be done in a year? I was at the last year of high school. It wasn't exactly like anything I did there would matter hugely as I would barely be able to make acquaintances, and then everybody would just fuck off to college or whatever and do their own thing.

"The city looks amazing, doesn't it?" dad asked from the front seat.

Jesus Christ, we left Boston for this? It was barely a city. Flat houses everywhere, a true middle-class suburban hellscape. From the City of Notions to Bumfuck, Delaware. Fantastic.

"Now we can finally work in a real IT place." mom clasped her hands together like software support was something to get excited about.

"I know honey, I can't wait to get to the office."

This was my life right now. I honestly had no idea how I got born, since my parents was so much in love with their work, I couldn't think of any emotional need or reason for them to have for fucking something that didn't have an SD port. And if they loved their work too much for a healthy sexual relationship, it's not exactly like they had a whole lot of emotional room for a daughter, which begged the question of, why the fuck I even existed to begin with? Why the hell was I constantly dragged from city to city, clearly not thriving in any of them, suffering, all because their new job opportunity had a more high tech printer or whatever it was keeping me from having a normal life?

"¿Ya llegamos?" I asked with a tired tone of voice.

"Natalia, please speak English." dad answered.

"¿Por qué? No es como si importara Somos solo nosotros."

"I know, honey, but you know your mother and I are still learning, and it would really help if you spoke English too."

"Fine... but seriously, are we there yet?"

"Yes, we'll be there in about ten minutes."

The house was average. It wasn't an apartment in a busy city full of life and opportunities, but at least my room was bigger. That was something, I supposed.

The day was mostly quiet. I think my parents expected me to explore the new city, and while I had every intention of doing that at some point, I was just too goddamn depressed and annoyed to want to do anything but just pack out the bare necessities for a passable living, and browse stupid internet forums, browse some porn, masturbate a bit, and then go to sleep just in time for my parents to very thoroughly test the suspension in their new mattress.

Fuck everything.