Check out what's on TV

Still tired and groggy, you turn on the TV to see what's on. Cable news is the same as always, politics and natural disasters: 2 things you can't control. You change it to entertainment news just in time to catch a report about Kristen Bell. You haven't been keeping track of whether her disappearance has been noticed, and apparently it has. It turns out her husband reported her missing a day after you had sold her to some sheikh in Dubai, and by some bizarre chain of events, the police now suspect he has something to do with her disappearance. Of course, you know the truth, but you couldn't prove it without implicating yourself. You're not worried about any legal repercussions, but rather the damage it would do to your image if the public found out, so you decide to ignore the news.

Feeling lazy, you check out the pay-per-view porn on TV. You haven't had sex in a week, and you figured you'd just jerk 1 out before getting cleaned up and seeking out someone to have fun with. For some reason, a lot of the porn available are parodies of real movies. You're curious and watch a few minutes of them, before you realize how bad they are. It's all filled with porn stars who look nothing like the original actors and actresses, bad costumes and sets, and such terrible acting that makes your boner go away as you cringe.

It actually makes you a little angry, and then you have a great idea. With your magical abilities, you could probably make better looking parodies that would please someone like you. The idea gives you purpose and you quickly take a shower and change into clean clothes before you set out on your new side project.