Weird Conversations Lead To Weird Interactions

I wish I remember how the fuck the conversation started, that way I could avoid ever making that series of mistakes again, but I can't. I'd gotten to the party somewhat late, and everyone else was already hammered, playing some high school party game in the living room. My boss, Madeline, had already gone to bed, so people were getting way raunchier than they would at any normal work party. I mostly just needed to stick around long enough everyone remembered that I was there. I sat down in the circle, and the conversation quickly got....weird.

It started with Edgar, one of my coworkers, talking about a hookup where he double penetrated the girl he was hooking up with, using himself and her dildo. "It was this thick," he said, lifting his beer can in front of everyone, "And she took it like no problem."

"Bullshit," Tim scoffed, "Bodies don't work like that. People can't stretch that much."

I honestly don't know why I said anything, but for whatever reason, based on how the conversation had been going so far, based on my desire for everyone to remember that I'd been there, I felt obligated to step in: "Actually, they can." All eyes turned towards me, and I pushed through, emboldened by attention. "That was me." Edgar nodded, and I couldn't tell whether he'd remembered that himself and was just being an asshole, or whether he'd been drunk enough that he forgot.

Tim shook his head. "I don't believe you. Bodies have a limit, and you hit that way before beer can dildo."

"Not me," I countered, which was true. One of the Boons I got was an elastic constitution, which helped with exercise, but I mostly used it during hookups. I never got loose, and I could stretch to fit just about anything.

"Prove it."