"Need directions?"

You spin into a horse stance, ready to take on whoever, or whatever, had asked the question. Your eyes strain to peer into the darkness of the left corridor when you see the movement of something approaching you.

Emerging from the shadows is a demon of a type you don't recognize. Short, but not as short as an imp, with red skin verging on pink. His misshapen head gives the impression of having been squeezed in a vice and seems more like a caricature, especially with the elongated, pointed ears and a ridiculous nose. The rest of his body seems to belong to a middle-aged man who's let himself go for many years, with a beer gut and flabby limbs. His one feature that doesn't seem comical is the massive cock and balls between his legs. Even flaccid, it reaches down past his knees and you can't help but wonder how large it would be fully erect. He eyes you up and down and flashes a toothy smile full of yellowed teeth.

"I wouldn't go that way if I were you," motioning with his thumb behind him. "And that corridor may lead to some... unpleasantness," indicating the right tunnel. Oddly, his voice doesn't match his appearance. It's a smooth, deep baritone that almost seems... sexy.

Not moving from your ready stance, fists up and ready to strike, you stare at him as he slowly approaches.

"Who in Hell are you?" you demand.

He chuckles. "Well phrased, Agent Kai, but what kind of a demon would I be if I told you my name? How about you call me... Puck."

"Puck?"

"If it was good enough for Shakespeare, it should do for me."

He circles you, inspecting you like a slab of meat in a butcher's shop, licking his thin lips with his long, forked tongue. "Damn! You are one hot piece of ass!"

You turn, still ready to drive your fist through his face.

"What do you want?" you ask, impatiently. You hope you sound tougher than you feel right now.

Your annoyed tone doesn't seem to impress Puck.

"To give you some directions on getting out of here," he replies. You notice that his cock has started to get hard and has grown considerably.

"Bullshit!"

Puck's offense seems very overdone.

"Oh, what times we live in that the intentions of a good Samaritan are greeted with such suspicion."

You roll your eyes in disbelief. If the situation wasn't so dire, you might even have laughed at his performance. You cock your head to one side and raise an eyebrow, waiting for his true intentions.

"Okay, " he continues, "It's understandable to be suspicious, but what I said is true; I want to help you get out of Hell."

You eye him warily, knowing the tricks and illusions these fell creatures are capable of. But, if there's a chance...

"I'm feeling strings attached to this 'service'," your tone is flat and no-nonsense, hoping it will make Puck get to the point.

He smiles as if remembering a private joke.

"Of course there are strings attached! This is Hell. There are more strings here than in the London Symphony Orchestra! But, there's no reason to continue if you're not interested in hearing my terms."

You finally come out of your defensive stance and cross your arms over your bare breasts.

"Alright. I'm listening."

Puck's grin widens more as if he's enjoying a victory over you.

"Here's the deal; I'll help you to get back to the Material Plane, or Earth as you call it..."

"I know what the Material Plane is! What do you want in return?