Christian Parker Week 2 Part 5

Alan held Asterion, the hermit crab, in a sling on his chest as he sat in his room and tried to follow Christian’s presentation.

“Alright, my most recent transformation has been really awkward. So, did you ever see Buffy the Vampire Slayer season five?” Christian asked.

“Um, that’s the sad season when the show really started going downhill, and Buffy got a new sister out of nowhere, right?” Alan had watched it with his sisters.

“Right! Tess gave me a transformation kind of like that, but there’s another scene I’m thinking about.” Christian lifted a remote and pressed a button, and the monitor showed a clip. Alan watched with a growing sense of unease as a vampire tried to explain to everyone that Ben was Glory.

“Um, that’s a troubling example of a transformation.” Alan nodded at Christian. “Have you given this speech before?”

“I was too scared to try it on anyone else first.” Christian looked down. “The thing is, I’ve never had sex with Chloe.”

Alan frowned. "Christian, it’s none of my business.”

“But we’re not having sex. Can you just tell me you don’t think we’re having sex?” Christian pleaded.

Alan winced and considered the question. He looked back at the monitor and considered the clip. “I don’t think you’ve had sex with Chloe.”

Christian looked relieved, which let Alan relax. If she wanted to lie about it, that wasn’t any of his business.

“I was really worried there’d be a big mindfuck from that stupid transformation,” Christian muttered, blushing.

“What exactly is the transformation, anyway?” Alan asked, curious.

“It’s super fucking weird.” Christian winced. “It says that everyone will believe we’ve already had sex.”

Alan considered the wording. He was sure the twins had been hooking up since a day or two after the abduction. “Maybe it’s about your separation?” he guessed. “Like, people might think you were never separated, so you’d be more like traditional twins for the fetish thing?”

“That might be part of it.” Christian blushed.

There was a shout from the door. Alan turned to see Chloe at the threshold, livid.

“Christian Morgana Parker, what the fuck are you doing?” Chloe’s voice was dangerously strained.

“Chloe, please. We can’t—”

“We are literally in the one place in the universe where we wouldn’t have to hide this, and you’re trying to lie to Alan about it?” Chloe lashed out. “I didn’t even believe Tess when she told me you were pulling this shit! You told me you were shelving the whole presentation!” She pointed accusingly at the monitor, where the Buffy clip was paused.

“Fuck, fuck...” Christian looked away. “It’s just, c’mon, what about me? You’ve been hooking up with people who don’t know anything, and I just—”

Chloe left the room. Alan was stunned.

“So, let me get this straight. You and Chloe are together, right?”

“I just didn’t want you to know.” Christian sighed. “Everything about this stupid show is already fucked up. I have no idea what we are, whether we’re sisters, or dating each other, or getting married to you. It felt like too much at once.”

“I don’t love that you lied about it, but I get it.” Alan thought about his feelings. “I think if it were another girl, I’d mind. Natalia or Joan, I’d be at least a little jealous. But you two should be together, whatever that means for you.”

“Fuck.” Christian sagged with a strange relief. “This was a hard day.”

“You’re doing magic, though.” Alan pointed at the hermit crab he was wearing.

“Okay, yeah.” Christian poked the shell, and the necromantic hermit crab stirred. “That part’s pretty cool.”

Christian left to apologize to Chloe, and Alan was alone with his thoughts. Something about the wording of the transformation didn’t sit right with him. He would work on figuring out what had changed until Christian returned.

No one realized that Chloe and Christian were included when the transformation said: “Everyone will believe they’re already having sex with each other, even if they aren’t.”