A true confessional.

Kat followed my gaze across the gym. “Are you going to spend the whole night checking on her?”

I looked back at Kat. She was watching me carefully now.

“I don't know.”

“Yes, you do.” There was no anger in her voice.

That somehow made it worse.

“I think something's wrong with her.”

Kat glanced towards Rebecca. “She has been weird all night.”

“You noticed too?”

“I noticed before you did.”

I looked at her. “Then why didn't you say anything?”

Kat gave a small shrug. “Because I knew why.”

My stomach tightened. “Why?”

She looked towards Rebecca again. “Because you're in love with her.”

The words hit harder than I expected. I didn't answer.

Kat didn't seem surprised by my silence. “You've been in love with Rebecca practically forever.”

“It's not that simple.”

“It kind of is.” She smiled faintly. “I've watched you look at her for years.”

I felt guilty. “Kat…”

“Don't.” She reached down and adjusted the corsage on her wrist. “I knew what I was getting into.”

“You agreed to come with me.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

She gave me a slightly embarrassed smile. “Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“I was hoping it might finally get Rebecca off her arse if she had to watch you with me.”

I stared at her.

Kat laughed quietly. “Think about it. Her best friend suddenly turning up to the dance with you, dressed like that, looking good, treating me properly.” She gestured towards the dance floor. “I thought maybe she'd finally look at you and realise what she's been missing.”

My mouth opened, but nothing came out.

“You did all this for her?”

“Not entirely.”

She looked at me. “I like you too.” That made the confession even harder. “But I knew how you felt about Rebecca.” She took a breath. “And I figured maybe, just maybe, she'd finally realise you're a catch.”

I glanced across the gym. Rebecca was standing near Carla, laughing at something Carla had said. But the laugh didn't last. Rebecca looked over. Straight at me. Straight at Kat. Our eyes met. She immediately looked away.

Kat noticed. “There.”

“What?”

“That.”

“What?”

“That look. You guys can’t go two minutes without checking where the other one is. We’re in a room with three hundred people, and you guys act like you’re the only ones that exist.”

I turned back towards her. “You really think?”

“I don't know what she thinks.” Kat squeezed my arm. “But I think you should find out.”

I was quiet. “Are you sure?”

She smiled. “No.”

That caught me off guard.

“But I'm still telling you to go.”

“Kat…”

“You're my date. I can still tell you when you're being an idiot.”

I laughed despite myself.

She gave me a small push. “Go.”

I hesitated. “And what about you?”

“I'll survive.”

“You don't have to.”

“I know.”

She looked at me for a moment. “Just don't waste the chance.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me yet.” She managed a smile. “Go find out why your favourite girl has looked miserable all night.”

I squeezed Kat’s hand in silent thanks, and then I walked across the gym.

Rebecca saw me coming. For a second, I thought she was going to leave. Instead she stayed where she was.

Carla noticed me too. “Well,” she said, looking between us.

Rebecca gave her a quick glance. “Could you give us a minute?”

Carla looked surprised. Then she nodded. “Sure.”

She walked away.

Rebecca folded her arms. “What?”

“You tell me.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“You've been miserable all night.”

“I'm not miserable.”

“You haven't danced.”

“I've danced.”

“With who?”

She didn't answer.

I stepped closer. “Rebecca.”

She looked at me. “What?”

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You're a terrible liar.”

That got the faintest smile from her. Then it disappeared. “You really want to know?”

“Yes.”

She looked over my shoulder. At Kat. When she looked back at me, there was something vulnerable in her expression that I'd never seen before. “I hate watching you with her.”

My heart stopped. “Why?”

Rebecca swallowed. “Because I didn't think it would bother me.”

I didn't say anything.

She continued. “I thought you would take Kat. I'd tease you about it. We'd all have a good time.” She gave a shaky laugh. “But then you turned up looking like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” She shook her head. “Like someone I'd never really noticed properly before.”

I stared at her.

Rebecca looked down. “And then I saw her with you.” Her voice was quieter now. “The way she looked at you. The way you looked at her.” She finally met my eyes. “And suddenly I couldn't stop thinking that maybe I'd made a mistake.”

I didn't know what to say.

Rebecca laughed softly. “That's ridiculous, isn't it?”

“No.”

“I've known you since you were five.”

“I know.”

“You're supposed to be my best friend.”

“I know.”

“And somehow tonight I kept looking at you and wondering what it would be like if you weren't.”

I felt my heart pounding. “Rebecca.”

She took a breath. “I don't know what happens after tonight.”

“Neither do I.”

She gave me a nervous smile. “But I know I don't want to spend the rest of tonight pretending I don't care.”

I glanced towards Kat. She was still where I left her. She saw us talking. And, to my surprise, she smiled. Not happily. Not exactly. But she gave me a tiny nod.

Rebecca followed my gaze. “She's really good for you.”

I looked back at her. “Maybe. But that's not what I came over here to talk about.”

She stepped slightly closer. “What did you come over here for?” Her eyes stayed on mine.

“I wanted to know if you feel the same way.”

She took a nervous breath. “Feel the same way about what?”

“About me.” My heart hammered against my chest. I couldn't get the breath into my lungs with what I was about to say. I hesitated. “You really want to know?”

She nodded.

“I've loved you for years,” I finally said.

Rebecca's eyes widened. “I know.”

“No. I don't think you do.”

She went completely still.

“I mean it.”

She looked down for a second.

Then back at me. “Why didn't you ever tell me?”

“Because I was terrified of losing you.”

She gave a small, sad smile. “And now?”

I looked at her. “Now I'm more terrified of never finding out what this could be.”

Rebecca's eyes shone. She reached for my hand. Her fingers closed around mine. “I think that's the first time I've ever been scared of the same thing.”

For years, I'd imagined hearing Rebecca say something like this. And now that she finally had, it didn't feel like the victory I thought it would. It felt frightening. Complicated.

For a moment, neither of us moved. Then she stepped closer. Not quite into my arms. Not yet. But close enough that I could feel her trembling slightly. “I don't know what we're doing,” she whispered.

“Neither do I.”

She smiled. “Good.”

“Good?”

“Yeah.” She squeezed my hand. “Because if you knew exactly what you were doing, I'd probably be more nervous.”

I laughed quietly.

Across the room, the music changed again. Neither of us looked away. For the first time in years, Rebecca wasn't standing beside me as my neighbour. Or my best friend. She was standing there as the girl I'd always wanted. And somehow, she finally seemed to be looking back.

---

I didn't see what happened to Kat after I turned away. Her smile stayed on her face for another few seconds. Then it faltered. Just a little. She watched me with Rebecca for a few minutes. She saw Rebecca taking my hand. Only then did she let out the breath she'd been holding. She looked down at the corsage on her wrist. The flower was slightly crooked from all the dancing. She carefully straightened it.

“Idiot,” she whispered to herself. There's a tiny laugh in the word, but it doesn't quite hold together.

Carla came over to her. “You okay?”

Kat turned immediately. “Of course.”

The answer came so naturally that Carla almost accepted it. Almost. “Seriously?”

Kat smiled. “Seriously.”

She glanced towards me and Rebecca. Then back at Carla. “I'm actually happy.”

It's not entirely a lie. She wanted Rebecca to notice. She wanted me to finally have a chance. But watching it actually happen hurts more than she expected.

Carla studied her face.

Kat gave her a brighter smile. “Come on. I'm not wasting the rest of the night standing around looking miserable.”

She grabbed Carla's hand and pulled her towards the dance floor. By the time Michael saw her, she was laughing again. By the time Lyndsay joined them, she was joking.

And when Michael asked where I was, she simply shrugged. “Talking to Rebecca.”

Michael raised his eyebrows. “Ooh.”

Kat rolled her eyes. “Don't.”

He laughed and started telling them some ridiculous story. Kat joined in. She laughed at all the right moments. She danced. She smiled for photographs. She even managed to look genuinely happy. Anyone watching her would think she was fine. Only once, when nobody was looking, did she glance across the gym. She saw me dancing with Rebecca. Her smile disappeared for the briefest possible moment.

Then she put it back on.