A homeless man

The manless home squealed like a teenage girl, as despite the man's grungy, sickly, and despairful appearance, he was a perfect match for The Genie's tastes.

He lamely limped to the front door, before pathetically tripping on the porch's last step. He persevered like it was nothing, and shook the locked door without noticing or caring about any signs of "life" in the home. He grumbled & stumbled down the steps (falling once again) and made his way to the nearby, unconnected garage.

The Genie realized that he should clean up the one true entrance before his new resident went there only to be trampled. The lights of the pool room turned on abruptly, disturbing all of the animals that had sheltered in it. The first decades alone, the unnatural natural-gas cleared out the room by flashing the lights rapidly. Occasionally, whenever an animal died during a clear-out (drowning in the filled pool, falling weirdly in the evaporated pool, getting stampeded into a blood pool, or epileptic shock) The Genie would allow some animals to stay if they cleaned up the remains. One year, however, The Genie gave up and let the English fauna stew in the place. Today, that would come to an end.

As Bernie Steiner failed to lift up the garage door by even a smidge, a variety of wild beast cries were heard in the backyard. Thinking about the what but not the why, Bernie found deer, squirrels, badgers, birds, and even some stray cats booking it from 2 broken windows and the ground. When all was quiet again, the lonely vagrant approached the unconventional entrances, before a last buck bursted through an intact window and into the distant woodlands.

Bernie heaved like a smoker at the thought of what he'd be if he was a little faster. For one less miserable, hyuck-hyuck-hyuck. Unfortunately, he was still breathing, starving, and in need of a roof over his head. Genuinely not wanting to get killed by a nonsapient playing Krueger, Bernie walked further out into the yard.

There, Bernie realized that the ground runners were actually coming out from an empty pool running underneath the wall. It was something out of a modern-day hotel, and definitely not an early-20th century manor... although it did have some kind of charm to it... Not that hotel pools were, at any point in his 46 years of life, charming.

Sliding into the best pool in the world, Bernie was gave an instictive "ickh" to 3 dead squirrels. They weren't bloodied or mangled in any way, but those glossy eyes were... all too familiar recently. At least they got to die somewhere out of this world!

Bernie slapped his head and sped into the house. Something was wrrrrr—right!—ng'n this pool. The fact he got a roof over his head now didn't seem as blessed anymore. Just as he was about to head further in, he ducked back into the pool and collected the squirrels.

All the while, the gas lights subtly lit the room.

"Look clean'nough," said the intriguing, bass-toned man, "beggars cannae choosers."

Luckily for him, he will be firmly in the chooser caste in a few short minutes. All he had to do was slip a wish through those oily, black lips of his.