Jack's Wild

“Welcome to Harem Hotel; your Host will be with you shortly!” The voice repeated, thundering through Robin’s skull.

They had fallen to their hands and knees at some point. The white marble floor was cool under their palms and unforgivingly hard against their knees through their jeans. The nausea had passed, mostly, but Robin still didn’t trust themselves to stand. Everything felt…unsure. The floor beneath them certainly felt solid enough and the ringing in their ears from that blasted announcement was all too real, but how could it be? One second they had been climbing aboard a city bus the next they were…where exactly?

“You ok?” If Robin had been feeling better they probably would have yelled in surprise at the sudden question. This wasn’t the booming, all too chipper voice of the announcement. It was soft, calm…

And close.

Robin raised their head to find a young woman sitting on a raised step just to their left. She looked about Robin’s age and was thin, almost too thin, with a mess of short curly black hair. Her slender arms and legs were long, but not so long as to be gangly. She had high soft cheeks that fell away to an elfin chin and her face was sun-kissed in a handsome way. She was wearing a pair of well-worn denim shorts, a faded Spider-Man graphic tee, and a blue sweatshirt tied loosely around her neck. She was leaning back, her arms extended behind her, relaxed except for her eyes. Her bright green eyes bored into Robin with an unnatural intensity.

“I…I think so…” Robin was finally beginning to catch their breath. Their cheeks were burning now that they were aware of their audience and they desperately hoped their arrival had looked more dignified than it felt. They raised up off their hands and leaned back on their legs in a kneeling position. “Where are we?”

“Looks like an amphitheater.” The girl said, never taking her gaze off Robin.

Robin gingerly rose to their feet.. Their legs were steadier than they felt, thankfully. Now upright they slowly turned in place looking over what indeed seemed to be a Roman theater cast in gleaming white marble. Robin’s unknown companion sat on the lowest row of stone benches, which extended in a semi-circle up behind her. The stage lay in the other direction. The raised marble platform was flanked by a series of columns that supported nothing but the sky above. In between the columns was a series of statues in widely different styles and forms. Robin could distinguish the forms of a snake, a fox, a horse, and a raven. Not all of the statues were animals, there were plenty of humanoid forms too but they didn’t recognize any of them. Nothing was behind the columns except an empty, cloudless sky that was an otherworldly dark shade of blue.

The stage itself was empty except for a carved soapstone throne with a tall back. The chair’s only adornment was a symbol engraved high on its back where it would be visible over the head of any who sat there.

“Do you know that mark?” The girl asked Robin when she saw them turn that way.

Robin looked closer at the circle atop a cross, crowned with an open half-circle.

“It’s the symbol for Mercury, isn’t it?”

The girl nodded approvingly.

“Where are we?” Robin asked.

“Do you want to go look?” The girl asked with a smile, pointing up the rows and rows of stone benches towards the top of the amphitheater.

Before Robin could answer she was already up and off, taking the stairs two at a time with her long smooth legs. The theater wasn’t large, but the steps were steep and Robin was breathing hard by the time they were three quarters of the way up.

A small wall about the height of Robin’s chest ran around the top of the bowl. The girl was waiting expectantly, one hand resting atop the wall, and Robin could swear she almost looked excited. Robin reached the top and looked over.

The theater sat atop a natural hill. That combined with the rise of the seats offered a commanding view over the short trees that covered most of the landscape. The land sloped down away from them, the foliage broken here or there by the occasional small building. Robin’s gaze traced the lay of the land until the earth met water. They appeared to be on an island.

Robin raised their eyes and saw another smaller island directly across from them. It appeared to be connected to their island by a small bridge but that’s not what demanded their attention. The water surrounding either island didn’t touch, instead plunging down into a deep chasm that ran between them. Robin stared, blinked, rubbed their eyes, then stared again. What they were seeing made no physical sense but it was undeniable. The islands were suspended in mid air.

Robin grabbed the top of the wall like they were going to fall up into the sky if they weren’t anchored. There, right in front of their disbelieving eyes, was a whole archipelago of flying islands. Each island was surrounded by its own tiny sea of water that separated it from the void beyond. There was no sight of ground or ocean, or whatever they could possibly be suspended above. Only a boundless blue sky.

Suddenly a bell tolled somewhere and the bridge connecting the two islands dissolved into an iridescent spray. Robin gasped as all of the islands began to shift, slowly sliding past one another until they were in an entirely different arrangement. The bell tolled again and the islands froze in place. The mist surrounding them coalesced in a dozen different places forming a new network of interconnecting bridges.

“Impossible…” Robin muttered, as they watched the water stream into the air forming a series of infinite waterfalls. “This is impossible. I must be dreaming.”

Robin yelped as the girl suddenly reached out and pinched them.

“Nope! Not dreaming.” She proclaimed with a devastatingly cute smile as Robin pouted, rubbing their arm.

“Ok, you obviously know something. Spill it, what’s going on? Who are you?”

The air cracked around them as the announcement blared forth once again. Robin slammed their hands over their ears as the girl watched them with twinkling eyes.

“Welcome to Harem Hotel; your Host will be with you shortly!”

Once the proclamation was finished she reached up and gently pulled Robin’s hands away from their ears.

“C'mon. Let’s go down and meet this ‘Host’ and I'll tell you who I am.”

She slipped back down the stairs before Robin could protest leaving them no choice but to follow her. However as soon as Robin settled onto the lowest stone bench beside her, she stood back up and strode towards the stage.

“What are you doing?” Robin hissed, but the girl just smiled as she hopped up onto the platform and slid behind the soapstone throne.

Someone else entirely stepped out the other side.

It was a man. He was easily taller than Robin by a few inches with a beautiful face that was all sharp angles. He was broad shouldered and well muscled without being bulky. His face was pale in a way that looked fair rather than sickly, and his long silvery hair hung loose to one side of his head. He was wearing a green surcoat over a white shirt that was open across his chest. A shimmering black cloak hung off his right shoulder, partially concealing his arm.

But it was his smile that grabbed Robin's attention.

It was a brilliant smile, wide and blindingly white. It rested on the man's face with a disarming genuineness that Robin could feel in their bones. A smile that said “Take comfort friend, there is no danger here.”

At first glance.

The longer they looked the more the smile said. Robin now noticed how the grin was just a little too eager and the canines a little too long. They now saw the self satisfaction of a predator after a successful hunt and Robin had a sinking feeling they knew who was the prey.

“Welcome, Robin Shepherd, to Harem Hotel!” The man said with a deep bow and a sweep of his cloak.

Robin's mind detonated with all their unanswered questions and a thousand new unasked. However it was all overrun by the sharp shouted “What?!”

“I said ‘Welcome-’”

“No. Stop! We have, like, a million things to unpack before we even get to whatever that is.”

The man straightened, still wearing that same smile, and put one hand on his hip.

“Ask away. I'll answer what I can.” His voice was as smooth as the polished marble upon which they stood.

“Ok, first,” Robin took a deep breath. “Wha-...who are you? What happened to the girl? Are you her?”

The man's smile widened somehow.

“I'll answer those in reverse order. That seems simpler,” he said. “Yes, that was me earlier. My physical form isn't as fixed as yours.”

Robin’s mouth gaped as the man’s cheeks began to rise and soften. His sharp green eyes began to soften and widen while his nose shrunk into a cute little button. Robin was soon staring at the disconcerting sight of the girl’s face on a very ungirly body.

The face flashed a cute smile and a wink at Robin before quickly reverting.

“As for who I am, that's a bit slippery. I've been known by many names by many peoples. Huēhuecoyōtl, Anansi, Loki, Susanoo. I am the rule breaker, the knower of secrets, the shapeshifter, the cunning one. I am the primordial Trickster, as old as deceit itself, and I am not bound by any one culture or identity.”

“But for the duration of our acquaintance, you can call me Jack.”

“Jack” threw his hands out dramatically with a wink and held the pose while Robin collected their jaw off the floor.

“I suppose your next questions are ‘where’ and ‘why.’”

Robin could only nod dumbly.

“Thankfully those two questions have the same answer. This-!” Jack threw out his arms to indicate everything around them. “Is Harem Hotel; the hit interdimensional harem show of which you are the newest star. Over the next several weeks a group of contestants will compete to secure their standing in your harem.”

“My what?” Robin sputtered.

“Your harem! Seraglio! A group of-”

“I know what a harem is!” Robin interrupted.

“Then I'm not sure what the confusion is about.”

“I don't have a harem!”

“You will!”

“Can I say no?”

“No!”

“I don't understand! Why me?”

“Now that,” Jack said with sudden solemnity, “Is absolutely the wrong question to ask.”

Robin sat stunned.

“To be brutally honest with you Robin, you weren't picked because of fate, or destiny, or any of that other nonsense. To the…individuals… running this show you're simply a data point. You're a variable picked by committee because they thought it would make good TV.”

Robin slumped in their seat, head hanging. They'd never deluded themselves into thinking they were of any great importance - that wasn't something they had ever really sought - but to have your entire existence upended only because someone else thought it would be good drama? To be snatched away simply because you made the right numbers in some spreadsheet somewhere go up? It was crushing.

Robin didn't hear Jack glide over to them, had no idea the Host was even there until two fingers firmly hooked under their chin and gently lifted until they could see Jack's face inches away their own, his green eyes filled with that feverish intensity again.

“What you should be asking,” Jack whispered. “The right question is why me.”

He gave Robin a quick furtive kiss on the forehead before darting away, leaving them with a confused look on their face. Robin sat there, lips parted, trying to make sense of the warmth lingering where Jack's mouth had touched them.

“Why me?” Jack repeated louder, turning to face Robin as he walked backwards towards the stage, arms outstretched. “Why, after being asked for centuries, did I finally agree to host one of these silly little affairs? What is it about this season that finally convinced me to get off my high horse and give it a whirl?”

He paused dramatically, arms out, palms facing the sky.

“I'm here because of you.”

Robin could hear their heartbeat pounding in their ears and suddenly realized they were holding their breath. They let out a long exhale and squeezed the edge of the stone bench trying to ground themselves as Jack dropped his arms and pushed on.

“You see, humans love their neat little binaries. One or the other, this or that, black or white. They want everything in heaven and earth to fit in neat, little, definable boxes so they can categorize it away. They check your label and think they know you, never bothering to actually measure you themselves.”

“Everyone wants clean lines and clear definitions. ‘East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet.’ But we know the real fun is in the gray areas, the edge cases - the crossed lines, and the broken boundaries.”

Robin found themselves on the edge of their seat, hanging on Jack's words.

“That's what I like about you,” Jack leaned over and lowered his voice again, like he was confiding a secret to a small child. “You were told to fit in a box and what did you do? Run off with both boxes! How greedy!”

“Well!” Jack exclaimed, pulling back his sleeve to check a nonexistent wristwatch. “We have so much time and so little to do, so I'll allow you one more question before we get this show on the road.”

Robin still had many many questions, too many to resolve with a single answer. As they racked their brain trying to decide on one it occurred to them that in this particular moment there was only one question that mattered.

“Who is in the…who is in my harem?”

Jack grinned.

“It's a surprise! This season is a little different in that regard. Even I don't know. Usually it's people connected to you somehow; an old ex, a roommate, an unrequited crush. Maybe an aunt for whom you've harbored thoughts that you'd never confess to in a million years.”

Robin blushed and squirmed in their seat as Jack seemed to look through them.

“Honestly you probably have a better idea than I do.” the Host continued. “Either way the moment of truth has arrived. If you could please take your throne and we'll find out together.”

Jack indicated the soapstone chair on the stage with a bow and a sweep of his arm. Robin stood. Their legs were steady but their steps felt heavy, momentous. They ascended the stage and slipped into the throne. For a chair of solid rock it was surprisingly comfortable, like it had been carved out specifically for them.

Robin looked over to discover that Jack had changed again. His hair had returned to a natural black but his skin was now a ruddy brown. He'd slimmed down without losing any height, giving him a lean yet still masculine look. He now wore a russet suit over a white shirt complete with a bolo tie featuring a large opal as its clasp. A small, burnt orange half cape hung off one shoulder. He leaped onto the stage, his boots landing with a resounding thump.

“Let’s get this party started then,” Jack said, shooting Robin a wink. He wheeled towards the empty marble amphitheater and threw an arm out stage left.

“And our first contestant is…!”