Chapter 3: Welcome to Mt. Lady’s Empire! (or: How I Landed a Job with the Vainest Hero in Japan)

Yu dropped back onto the couch with a lazy smile and stretched her arms over her head, a move Izuku found completely unnecessary and absolutely appreciated as he watched the way it showed off her chest.

"So it's official," she said. "I've got an assistant. My first day as a pro and I've already got someone to carry my stuff. This whole being-famous thing feels pretty good."

"Well, you still haven't told me what I'm supposed to carry," Izuku replied.

"Little details." Yu waved a hand through the air. "What matters is the image. Mt. Lady, number one in the hearts of Japan, with her own entourage. Sounds good, right?"

"It sounds like one person. I'm just one person."

"You're a one-person entourage. Everybody starts at the bottom, kid."

Izuku held out his hand anyway.

"Alright, boss, since it's official, it's an honor to work for you."

Yu shook it, and in that instant a warm spark passed between their fingers. She felt it right away and let go, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Was that your Quirk again?"

"Looks like it. Relax, nothing grew this time," Izuku said, checking his palm. "I think it only reacts when I touch you..."

"How convenient." Yu leaned back again. "Hands to yourself, assistant. That part of the deal was crystal clear."

"Strictly professional."

"Uh-huh." A mischievous little grin crossed her face. "Though, I'm not gonna lie, what you did to my butt back in the alley was a real nice touch. You left it better than new before turning it back to normal. Some people would pay for a Quirk like that."

"It was an emergency medical intervention," Izuku said, not missing a beat.

"Sure it was." Yu laughed. "Relax, I'm not gonna report you. A good hero knows how to recognize talent when it lands on her. Even if it's a pretty perverted talent."

She settled deeper into the couch and pointed at the bag she'd left on a chair.

"Okay, first assistant task. Grab me my phone, it's in the front pocket. And while you're at it, there's water bottles in the kitchen. One for me."

Izuku looked at her, noting the ridiculous distance of just a few inches.

"Your bag is literally right next to you."

"And you're literally getting paid for this." Yu smiled, delighted with her newfound authority. "Welcome to the assistant life."

Izuku let out a sigh, crossed the room, and handed her the phone and a water bottle. She was already scrolling through her mentions before he sat back down.

"This is going on the record in my report on working conditions," he said, sliding his pen between his fingers.

"Write it in your little notebook." Yu didn't look up from the screen. "Okay, assistant, time to earn your keep. I've never had one, so tell me what you're good for."

"For starters, I ask you questions. I need to understand the product."

"The product?" Yu smiled, fascinated by the word as she let the phone drop to one side. "I love it. Yeah, I'm a product, and a good one. Ask whatever you want."

Izuku leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and sinking into the role with an ease that was honestly a little scary.

"Your debut kick, the Canyon Cannon. The form was flawless. Did they teach you that at UA or did you design it yourself?"

"What do you think?" Yu pointed both thumbs at herself. "I designed it. Most giant heroes just throw punches around like animals off the leash. I wanted something that looked good on camera. A kick with style sells more tickets than a thousand ugly punches."

"Lethal and photogenic at the same time," Izuku said, nodding. "That's way too smart."

"Of course it's smart, I came up with it." She leaned forward, closing the gap between them to savor every word. "You know how many heroines with my Quirk get stuck in the crowd because all they think about is being big and strong? I think about magazine covers. That's the difference between a rookie and a future star."

"Another thing I noticed." Izuku flipped a page in his notebook. "You shouted the name of your move right in the middle of your debut. Canyon Cannon. Is that just for show or does it actually serve a purpose?"

"Both, obviously." Yu smiled, proud of her own strategy. "Shouting the name sticks it in the audience's heads, and that's what the brands sell off of later. But it also helps me focus, helps me put intention behind the hit... You know, all the greats do it. If your move doesn't have a name, it basically doesn't exist."

"I'm writing that down word for word," Izuku said, scratching quick lines onto the paper. "Good advice."

"I'm a bottomless well of good advice. There's a reason I'm the boss."

"Speaking of your Quirk, there's something I want to understand," Izuku went on, not lifting the tip of his pen from the page. "Back in the alley you shrank on your own, without meaning to. Does that happen to you often?"

Yu made a face, twisting her lips with obvious annoyance.

"More than I'd like to admit." She dropped the phone onto the couch. "My Quirk goes off by itself when I get too worked up and I grow without warning. You know how many offices I've destroyed? This agency is the third one my manager's had to set up... and today was only my debut. Every time I get too excited, bye-bye ceiling."

"Fascinating," Izuku said, writing at full speed. "So the trigger is emotional. Your conscious control is excellent, the problem shows up in the subconscious when the adrenaline kicks in. That's why you slipped. You got caught up posing for the cameras and lost focus for a second."

"Hey, don't say it so calmly, it's a massive pain." Yu frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Half my paycheck's gonna go to debt. If that weird Quirk of yours could fix that instead of going around groping butts, then yeah, I'd kiss your feet."

"Noted." Izuku didn't look up from the notebook. "The boss kisses feet in exchange for Quirk control. I'm gonna fill this notebook before the weekend's over."

"Don't write that down!"

"Actually, if the lack of control bugs you that much, it wouldn't hurt to study the top heroes," Izuku added, thoughtful, tapping the back of the pen against his chin. "Mirko, for example, fights on pure adrenaline and never loses control of her own body..."

"Hey! Don't go analyzing the top heroes too!" Yu cut him off, pointing a finger at him. "I hired you to admire me, not to drool over Mirko. Focus on the product in front of you."

"Yes, ma'am."

"That's more like it." She leaned back again, satisfied to have her monopoly on attention restored. "Next question."

"What does Mt. Lady do when she's not being Mt. Lady? Your life out of the costume."

"My life IS Mt. Lady." Yu shrugged, totally matter-of-fact. "Everything I do is for the brand. Including what you're about to look at."

She nodded toward a corner of the room. Izuku followed her gaze and landed on a glass display case packed with jars and bottles, all arranged in neat order. They were beauty products, dozens of them, brands he couldn't afford if he saved up for three lifetimes.

He stood and stepped closer to the case, eyes shining.

"Wow. This is... an impressive collection."

"It's my arsenal," Yu said, without an ounce of shame. "My face is my career, get it? Every wrinkle I avoid is worth millions in contracts. I'm the face of a shampoo line, they pay me to look good, and boy do I look good. Call it vanity if you want, to me it's pure business."

"It's organized by brand and by type, probably even by expiration date," Izuku said, scanning the case with respect. "This goes way beyond a little indulgence, boss, it's a whole system. I love it."

"You love it?" Yu looked at him, amused. "Most guys roll their eyes the second I start talking about my twelve-step routine."

"You wanna see something good?" She got up, opened the case, and pulled out a golden jar, turning it between her fingers with a smile. "I use this one for photoshoots. One swipe and the skin comes out magazine-ready. The image sells just as much as the fists, darling. People buy posters and calendars, and nobody buys the calendar of a sloppy hero."

"So your face is part of your combat gear," Izuku said, writing it down. "Makes sense."

"My face and my figure, it's all part of the show." Yu struck a pose for a second, half joking, and winked at him. "Just so you know, even that butt you fixed up is a company asset. Take good care of it."

"I'll treat it with the respect a national treasure deserves," Izuku replied, dead serious.

"You'd better." Yu put the jar away, visibly delighted with the rhythm of the conversation.

"Most guys don't get the value of a good collection," Izuku went on. "For me it's action figures. I've got thirty-seven All Might ones, counting variants, lined up just like your jars."

Yu burst out laughing.

"Thirty-seven? You're a nerd."

"Hey, you've got a case of creams that costs more than a car," Izuku shot back. "We're the same kind of obsessive. You just dress it up better."

"I dress it up as glamour." Yu pointed at herself with pride. "You dress it up as... well, as nothing. You go through life with a notebook full of little hero doodles."

"It's a detailed tactical analysis," Izuku protested.

Yu laughed again and went quiet for a moment, looking at him with a new expression.

"Hey, assistant, serious question." She crossed her legs and rested her chin on her hand. "If your Quirk can improve someone's body with a touch, and on top of that give that temporary boost of strength I felt... how far does it go? Could you make me faster before a fight? Stronger?"

"I have no idea," Izuku admitted. "I'd never used it on a person before you. But from what I felt, it depends on the point of contact and how long it lasts. Your butt came out perfect because that's where you landed. In theory, it could work with any part."

"In theory." Yu's eyes lit up with ambition. "Do you have any idea what that's worth? A hero who can power up another one just by touching them. If we handle it right and keep it quiet, I could climb the rankings faster than anybody. You'd be my secret weapon..."

"Sounds like you just promoted me from entourage to secret weapon," Izuku said. "I'll expect the corresponding pay raise."

"Don't push it." Yu laughed, even as her mind was already racing. "But I'm serious. We're gonna figure out exactly what that Quirk of yours does, slow and quiet, without anybody finding out. You get a salary and a place in the hero world, and I get an edge nobody else will have."

"For the sake of science," Izuku said, very seriously.

"You mean for the sake of my career," Yu corrected him. "The science is your part."

"Deal, boss." Izuku closed the notebook for a moment and looked her straight on. "For the record, I didn't pick you just for the paycheck. I've spent my whole life filling notebooks with analyses of heroes I was never gonna meet in person, and overnight I'm working for one. It's the closest I've ever been to my dream."

Yu, who spent her life chasing admiration, didn't quite know what to do with admiration this direct.

"Careful, you're gonna make my ego swell up even more... Though you've got good taste. Of all the heroes who could've landed on you today, you got the best one."

"And the most modest, clearly."

"Alright, since we're partners now," Yu said, stretching again, "first rule of the empire: nobody finds out about your Quirk. To the world you're my assistant and nothing more. You carry my stuff and you smile in the photos if I need you to."

"I'm in the photos?" Izuku asked.

"In the back and without stealing the camera." Yu pointed at him. "I'm the star, don't forget it."

"I'd never dream of overshadowing you, boss. You literally cast a sixty-foot one."

"Ha. Look at that, the kid's got jokes." Yu smiled. "Second rule: when we start testing that Quirk of yours, it goes at my pace. I don't want any more surprises like the one in the alley."

"With permission for each thing, like we agreed," Izuku said. "I'm a professional."

"We'll see about that." She eyed him sideways, sizing him up. "You know what? For a stranger I met by falling on his face, you're not such a bad deal."

Izuku took another jar from the case, looked it over, and set it back in place.

"And what's this one do?" he asked, pointing at a blue one. "Sounds like something that treats third-degree burns."

"That's a night serum, it hydrates while I sleep. I bought it overseas and they don't even sell it anymore." Yu moved it out of his reach just in case. "It costs what you used to make in a month walking dogs, so don't even think about touching it."

Izuku looked out the window. Outside it was starting to get dark, and you could still see several press vans circling the area. Yu's smile vanished the instant she saw them.

"Those vultures," she muttered. "I bet tomorrow the headline won't be Mt. Lady Saves the City. It'll be Rookie Faces Down in Her Debut. They're gonna make me look like a clown."

"You're worried about the headline?" Izuku asked.

"I'm worried about my popularity," she answered flatly, arms crossed. "A bad debut sticks like gum on your shoe. I trained for years to get here, and I'm not letting one dumb fall ruin my image on day one. You have any idea how many heroes start strong and disappear within a month?"

"Then the vultures are idiots," Izuku said, and he said it with a firmness that made her turn. "You wanna know what I saw? I saw a hero take down a giant villain with a single kick, in under a minute, without a single civilian getting hurt. The fall was an accident, anybody slips on loose rubble. What you did before that was the work of a pro with years in the field."

Yu looked at him, and for once she didn't have a cocky reply ready.

"...You really believe that?"

"I know more about heroes than anybody you know. Trust the expert." Izuku smiled at her, satisfied. "And hey, that's worth celebrating."

"Celebrating what? That I fell on my face in front of half the city?"

"Well... your debut," he insisted. "A debut's a debut, even if it ends in a crash landing. It's a big day. And big days deserve a good dinner. Let me take you out."

********

Author's Note:

So I made the call to have this chapter be almost all dialogue — basically a Mt Lady–style job interview. I felt like in the last chapter she still came across as too passive, when Mt Lady's usually way bolder, more proactive, and more vain. But this gave me a great chance to explore the moe gap: vain and self-centered with everyone else, but a little softer (borderline clingy) with Izuku once their relationship deepens, lol. Sorry if I went overboard with the dialogue, but I really hope I got close to nailing Mt Lady's personality!

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