Discipline

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I've always needed a lot of discipline. Growing up my parents and teachers gave me the discipline I needed. After I graduated I almost immediately found a job where I managed very well to give myself all the discipline I needed. Because of that I was able to work as hard as I wanted and achieve a lot. I climbed the ladder, got promoted, got better cases to work on, got people to manage and interns to train. All of this was good, it was very good, but I was a very ambitious man and kept craving to achieve more. One thing made me put a break on that.

One day I got diagnosed with SP. While it is not as bad as it used to be, there is certainly a glass ceiling in corporate culture and moreso in the world of lawyers. So I knew that now with SP I would need to work that much harder to just keep the position I'd earned as a man. Through the first two stages of SP I could work almost as well as I did before, just with a bit more working out in the evenings to blow off steam. In stage three things became more difficult. People started to treat me differently and at that point SP started to have show more of it's mental effects on me and making it harder to focus as much as I used to. It became harder to give myself the discipline I knew I needed. Which made me fear what would happen when I got to stage four.

Knowing that I would not be able to discipline and control myself at that point, I started thinking of who could and would help me. Who would be able, who could I trust? That problem solved itself when my colleague Manuel caught me looking through bondage equipment on my work laptop during a coffee break. He put a hand on my shoulder before I knew he was near me, then shushed me and promised not to tell anyone. He suggested that he be my dom, that he give me all the discipline and submission I need and that he would not tell anyone, in return I have to truly surrender my body to him during those sessions. With safewords and other precautions in place of course.

We've had that agreement for almost a year now and it has been amazing. He's become a better dom every week and I know I have been getting better at being a sub for him.