5 days of pictures

Unfortunately Wonder Woman’s responsibilities keep her busy and out of town for the next several days.

The morning after your cleaning party, you wake up to a pic text from "Princess" and are surprised to see this one is actually NSFW! She’s sitting up in bed, topless, disheveled sheets slid down to her waist, one long leg sticking out for good measure. Her lustrous mane of hair is brushed to one side and forward over her bare shoulder, hanging down to mostly cover one breast. But the other breast is gloriously exposed. There's the faintest hint of a smile on her face. (You check the surveillance tapes later - yes, she really did just wake up looking like that.)

It's an incredibly intimate image, and somehow even more sensual than seeing her fully naked in person. You have never wanted to climb inside a photo more.

You're not sure how long you sit there entranced, but eventually your brain recovers enough to text back,

The response comes back almost immediately:

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, she’s in Paris fighting some supervillain you've never heard of. That afternoon she sends a picture of her standing in front of an open window. The Eiffel Tower visible outside the window, but it's the least interesting thing in the photo because Diana is sitting in an armchair completely naked, legs crossed but otherwise making no effort to cover herself. (I mean, you have already seen it after all.)

Only later does it occur to you the picture is not a selfie.

You get back a wink emoji.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 3: She helps diffuse a riot at Blackgate Prison; she manages to talk both sides down without having to punch anyone. Around bedtime you get a selfie of her taken through the bars of a (presumably empty) prison cell, wearing only her tiara, bracers, and boots. You’re dying to know how she managed that one without anyone seeing her and setting off another riot, but you just text back,

No reply.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 4: Stopping a rampaging monster in Cleveland of all places. She sends a bathroom selfie, in full costume standing in the ruins of a destroyed building, covered in dust and dirt and monster guts. It's followed by,

You instantly send back...

...then start to add, "That pic doesn't count," but think better of that last bit and wait to see what happens. Sure enough, a few seconds later she texts,

You spend a long moment marveling at those last five words.

An hour later you get a naked bathroom selfie as she's cleaning herself up in what you think is the bathroom in her Watchtower quarters. She’s still covered in crap but manages to make even that look sexy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day she sends a pic of her in a classy women’s business suit and skirt with her hair tied up, her tiara and bracers somehow fitting in perfectly with the rest of the ensemble. She’s standing at a podium and it takes you a minute to realize she's addressing the United Fucking Nations General Fucking Assembly! You’re still processing that when she sends

Which is not wrong, but honestly was not where your head was in that moment.

Before you can decide how to respond, another pic comes in. This one is another bathroom selfie, but the bathroom is super fancy, the dividers are expensive-looking marble, and the stalls have the UN logo on them. She's wearing the same suit, except she has nothing on underneath the jacket, which is open to show a stunning swath of bare skin from her neck down to her waist, revealing some generous real estate between her breasts, the nipples just barely covered. Her skirt has been hiked up a couple inches past "professional diplomat," and her leg is taking full advantage of the modest slit.

It's the kind of image professional models work all day to get, but you're pretty sure she just snapped three pics and sent you the best one.

You spend a moment wrestling with how to respond. It's one of the sexiest pictures you're ever seen in your life, but she isn't actually naked and you don't want to establish a precedent.

Before you can work out what to say, a 3ʳᵈ picture arrives. In this one, her jacket is wide open fully revealing her breasts in all their swollen glory. The skirt has been hiked up even further, showing off her bare muscular thighs. Her expression manages to be both challenging and playful.

You take a deep breath and send

The Themysciran ambassador does not send a laughing emoji in response, but in your head she's chuckling.