But I still dream of running careless through the snow

“Alright! Dinner is ready!” Mary stepped out of the kitchen with a spring in her step and a big smile on her face. Sylvia was right behind her, followed by Holly, who was fortunately wearing clothes now, and even had a sheepish expression on her face to show everyone how she felt about it.

“It’s really good,” Sylvia said proudly. “I even made the tomato soup!”

“So soon?” Amelia sat up tall in her chair and raised her eyebrow.

Nick was also surprised. He’d expected Mary to take a lot longer preparing their meal.

“Sorry about that, it’s my fault we’re eating so early, Daddy,” Sylvia apologized, batting her eyelashes and giving him her best “Please forgive me?” face.

Nick was just left even more confused. “Your fault?”

“It didn’t seem right for Sylvia to help with the cooking and then not even get to enjoy dinner with us,” Mary explained, gesturing to the white-haired girl rocking back and forth on her feet. “But if we eat at the usual time, she’d have to spend the night with us. And with Amelia here, we weren’t sure if you’d be okay with that.”

“Unless you’d like me to stay, of course,” Sylvia added, leaning forward and cocking her head in a pose she must have thought would be playfully seductive. “Daddy…”

Nick fought back the urge to cringe. He knew that Sylvia was just playing around, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He looked sternly at her while she looked innocently back at him, both knowing full well that they had the other’s number.

With a sigh he just shook his head and scratched his cheek. “Well… maybe not spend the night, but I’d be happy if you had dinner with us, Sylvia,” he agreed. That wasn’t even an issue for him. “Oh, but also…”

He turned to Ella, who was still engrossed in her cleaning. Like a good maid, she was trying her best not to eavesdrop on their conversation.

She wasn’t succeeding, but she was trying!

“Ella, do you want to join us for dinner too?” He asked.

“Eh?!” Ella jumped in surprise and turned around, her sudden reaction practically a confession that she’d been listening in the whole time. Her face started to burn as she stared at Nick, not sure what to make of his proposal. “You… you w-want me to…?”

It seemed unreal. What was she supposed to say to that!? Well, there were certainly plenty of responses but her brain wasn’t working right, too surprised that she’d been asked.

“That’s a great idea!” Mary agreed, hoping to break through Ella’s crumbling defenses with her unyielding kindness. “We have more than enough for everyone, won’t you join us for dinner, Ella?” She pleaded.

“B-but…” Ella glanced at the clock hesitantly. “What if… what if I’m late?” She pointed out. “O-or, um… I end up… missing my opportunity to l-leave, then…” Her brain kept going to worst-case scenarios no matter how hard she tried. Her eyeballs spun around in her head.

“Don’t worry, we can just leave together!” Sylvia chirped. “Come on, you don’t want to spend your whole time cleaning, do you? I’m sure Dakota will cut you a break!”

Ella bit her lip. Her eyes flickered over to Nick, seeing the expectant look on his face. He really was being sincere when he said he wanted to eat with her, wasn’t he? It warmed her heart, but it also filled her with dread.

The last time Ella had eaten with everyone, it hadn’t exactly gone well. …Yes, that was her own fault, and it wasn’t like she’d touched any of the food this time… but still…

“Is it… really okay?” She looked at everyone with those big, round eyes of hers. “If I… stay?”

“Of course!” Mary replied, while Sylvia and Holly nodded in agreement.

“Come on, Ella, eat with us,” Nick kept pushing, and finally Ella’s walls crumbled. She let out a long, **** sigh, and tried not to look too happy about the opportunity she’d been presented with. But just like trying not to eavesdrop, it didn’t go very well.

Amelia closed her book, a thin smile on her lips. Seeing everyone working out their issues like this and getting along… she couldn’t be prouder of them. Especially Nick and Mary. They were such great kids, weren’t they?

She stood up and went to join them for dinner.

Predictably, Sylvia wanted to sit right beside Nick. Mary, generous as she was, allowed her to do so, and out of respect for her generosity, Amelia allowed Mary to take her spot on his other side in return. Meanwhile, she, Holly, and Ella arranged their seats so that Amelia was at the far end of the table, facing her stepson directly.

It was one of the livelier dinners Amelia had experienced.

“…So you guys went to the zoo on your date?” Sylvia gushed. “Tell me all about it! Did you guys have fun?”

Ella looked at the other woman like she was crazy. “Sylvia… you already knew that,” she reminded her. “I gave you your present when I got back.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sylvia said without flinching. “So? I’d still like to hear you talk about it,” she said with a shrug.

Ella blinked, very confused.

Mary leaned over and whispered in her ear, “I think she’s trying to be your friend, and that’s the only thing she can think of to talk to you about.”

Ella nodded slowly. Okay. That made way more sense.

At the same time, Holly was leaning over and whispering in Sylvia’s ear as well, “Next ask Ella if she wants a goodbye kiss from Nick before you guys leave.”

Sylvia nodded slowly, getting the message.

…In fact, the whole table got the message. Holly’s “whispering” was closer to her regular speaking voice than an actual whisper.

Nick sighed and shook his head in exasperation.

Sylvia turned to the blushing maid with a gleam in her eyes. “Hey, Ella, quick question-”

“I HEARD,” Ella snapped, sounding a lot like Cinder in that moment, except for the fact that she looked ready to crawl under the table and curl up into a ball rather than chuck dipping bread across the table at the white-haired girl.

“Sylvia, behave yourself,” Nick chastised her, not wanting to be too strict with her but also taking Ella’s feelings into consideration. It was hard to work for everyone’s sake, but he was trying his best regardless.

Sylvia pouted and sank back into her chair. “Yes, Daddy,” she said in a whiny brat voice that made Mary roll her eyes in exasperation and Holly giggle.

As for Ella, she just felt envious. Look at the two of them. Sylvia used to be the host of the show… she must have been as antagonistic as Dakota is now, right? But they’re getting along so well… joking around like friends. Could I… have that, too?

She thought fondly back to her date with Nick, the parts of it she could remember. How fun it was to spend time with him, to see him smile, to tease him, to play pranks on him, to see him get jabbed by that unicorn…

…

Those probably aren’t all good things, huh? Ella admitted to herself.

“Is something the matter?”

Amelia’s question made Ella jump up in her chair. “Eh!? Ah… u-um-!”

Her eyes flickered over to Amelia and she saw the older woman staring intently at her, studying her carefully. It made Ella’s heart sink in her chest. “I…”

Her mouth refused to work.

At the same time, Amelia’s expressionless, flawless face twitched, and the beginnings of a frown began to form across her lips. She had been debating whether to speak up for several minutes now, concerned that Ella wasn’t eating the food, but she was afraid that she’d made the wrong choice.

“Oh, Ella! You’ve hardly touched your food!” Mary said. “Is the soup not to your liking?”

Ella swiveled her head around, eyes wide. “I… n-no, it-it’s fine,” she said quickly, grabbing her spoon. “I just, um, I got distracted, that’s all!”

She began to quickly scoop tomato soup into her mouth, eating so fast she was afraid she might throw up.

All the while, Amelia sat in stillness, looking at the two younger women alongside her. She handled that so swiftly and simply… far better than I could. I was trying to reach out to her, but Mary… she accomplished it so easily.

It wasn’t in Amelia’s nature to get jealous. She was never that sort of woman. She was more evolved than that, more mature. The sort of woman who treated those around her with respect and expected the same treatment in kind.

But she couldn’t help but feel an uncomfortable stirring in her breast, seeing how easily Mary had gotten the other woman’s trust. It should have made her smile, as she thought of Mary as she would her own daughter, but…

It felt like the young woman was calling attention to Amelia’s own shortcomings, and that wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all.

Ella was, predictably, the first one to finish her soup. Luckily she had only been given a single serving of it, so even with the speed she’d slurped it down, it wasn’t to unsettling in her stomach. But now she felt self-conscious all over again. Her eyes immediately shot to the basket of bread in the center of the table and she felt tempted, but she held herself back once more.

No, I can’t! She chastised herself, snapping her rubber-band with a “Thwap!” Stop eating! There’s more dinner coming anyway, we haven’t even gotten to the main course yet! She didn’t want to look like a glutton by stuffing her face continuously.

Especially when she knew she was only eating so she’d have something to do. So people wouldn’t look at her so much, wondering why she wasn’t being more social and talking with them.

As uncomfortable a feeling as that was, running off to go puke in the bathroom was an even more uncomfortable idea, so Ella obediently remained seated and tried not to give into temptation.

Everyone at the table could feel the awkward pressure coming from Ella. She knew it, she just knew it! They were all probably looking at her right this very second! Even if they were talking to each other. Or eating. Or not looking at her at all.

They were still probably doing it!

She squeezed her eyes shut and fought back Cinder’s attempt to assert herself. Now wasn’t the time! She was having such a lovely dinner, and she didn’t want Cinder to ruin it! This was her opportunity to clear her doubts about Amelia, to get to know Mary and Holly and Sylvia better, and to have a nice time with Nick! It was so generous of them all to offer her a seat at the table, and Cinder would just screw everything up!

Ella squeezed the tablecloth tightly with both hands, not wanting to snap her rubber-band and call more attention to herself. This would have to be a substitute…

Then she felt a hand on top of hers, resting gently and giving her the faintest of squeezes. Hardly enough to get her attention, but just enough to let her know that someone was there for her.

She opened her eyes and looked up, following the hand to the slender arm it belonged to and up until she saw… Amelia?

The older woman wasn’t even looking at her. She stared forward, as if she were engrossed in the story Mary was telling about her life on her family’s farm, but Ella could feel the warmth of Amelia’s hand flooding into her all the same. Even if she wasn’t looking her way… she was still extending her hand all the same.

So warm… it feels so kind… wow... I… I don’t… is this… what Nick meant? She wondered, remembering her conversation with him from earlier about how Amelia was really a kind woman at heart, she just had difficulty expressing that side of herself.

Ella was getting a taste of that kindness right now, and it felt… like nothing she’d ever experienced before. It wasn’t at all like the way Nick was supportive of her, or even the other women in his harem who tried to be her friend. This was a different kind of feeling of reassurance she felt in her breast, and she couldn’t explain it.

But it warmed her heart in a way she absolutely craved.

Is it because… she’s so much older? Is that why? Or is it… because she’s Nick’s stepmother? Ella didn’t know the reason it felt so different being comforted by Amelia, but the older woman’s silent support was overwhelming.

Words may not have gotten through to Ella, but just holding her hand like this… it pushed away any attempt by Cinder to take control.

As she sat there, staring at the blonde and trying to understand what was going through her head (and failing, naturally) Ella found herself remembering one of Amelia’s transformations that she had never given any thought to before now.

• Let’s Get Physical: Amelia has always had a difficult time expressing herself with her words. In order to prevent further misunderstandings with her loved ones, her counselor has encouraged her to be more physically affectionate. Now her natural impulse will be to express her affection for other people through physical contact, which will escalate depending on the level of affection. [NOTE: Can range from handshakes, headpats, hugs, kisses on the cheek, to anything shy of actual sexual intercourse.] (Ice Queen)

That’s what this was, she realized. While Ella didn’t understand all the words in the transformation, she understood enough. Amelia was expressing herself physically. Did… did that mean she thought of Ella as a “loved one”, then? And she was showing affection?

But I haven’t even slept with Nick yet! She wanted to exclaim, but knew she couldn’t. And Cinder definitely hasn’t either, I would know! So it’s not like you’d be thinking of me as your daughter! So why would you-!?

The answer was obvious, but it never would have occurred so a guarded, jaded girl like Ella. Because she couldn’t imagine Amelia coming to care for her without a transformation compelling her behavior, of course she couldn’t understand why she was being physically affectionate with her right now.

The notion that Amelia was simply a nice woman who saw that Ella was in a tough place and needed some support right now never crossed her mind at all.

“Daddy, I think Ella wants to have sex with your stepmom.”

…And then Sylvia had to go and ruin it.

“What!? NO!” Ella screeched, yanking her hand away so fast that she nearly fell out of her chair. It wobbled shakily beneath her and she clung to the table with all her might, swinging her head around to look at the other girl in horror.

Mary’s jaw hung open as she froze mid-story, her brain struggling to catch up with what Sylvia had just said, and even Nick looked stunned. The only people who seemed unfazed were Holly, who found the notion hilarious, and ironically, Amelia herself.

The most that the older woman reacted was a twitch of her eyebrow and a firm press of her lips together as she gave Sylvia a chastising look.

“Such jokes should be reserved for those who would find them amusing, young lady,” she sternly rebuked her.

Sylvia sank in her chair, knowing she’d crossed a line. She’d just been trying to be funny!

“I-I think it’s time for the main course!” Mary said in a frantic attempt to change the subject. She jumped to her feet. “Sylvia, come help me bring it in.”

She grabbed the white-haired girl by the ear and tugged.

“OW!”

She tugged hard.

Holly winced as Sylvia was pulled away, knowing how deadly Mary’s fingers could be to a person’s ears. She swirled her glass of water and clinked the ice, taking a nice, long sip. With a refreshing “Haaaaaah!” She turned to Nick with a twinkle in her eye.

“So far, I think dinner’s going great!”

Ella’s eyes slid to the clock. She still had another twenty-five minutes of this before she had to leave. Maybe… maybe she should just call it a night here. Who knows how things would go, if she stayed through the next course?

“I… I should probably get going,” she said, scooting back her chair. “I’ve taken up enough of your time tonight…”

“Huh?!” Holly recoiled, not expecting that reaction. “Err… Ella…”

“Ella, I don’t think that’s necessary!” Nick said, standing up. The pleading look in his eyes gave her pause, and made her heart ache.

He really wants me to stay… he really wants to spend time with me! That should have made her happy, and it did, partly. But it also made her even more determined. Because the last thing she wanted right now was to make a fool of herself in Nick’s eyes. Any more than she already had. That would be mortifying!

“Please stay?” Nick asked her again, trying not to sound like he was begging.

Ella’s heart wavered even more. Her hand meekly slid to her wrist, but before she could snap her rubber-band…

“If she wants to leave, then do not pressure her,” Amelia said, not looking up from her soup. Her voice was calm and commanding and caused both Ella and Nick to pause.

They looked at Amelia, then at each other, neither knowing quite what to say.

Amelia raised her head slowly and stared at them both.

“The choice is yours, Ella,” she said. “I’m sure Nicholas has a great many things to tell you, but none of that matters right now, does it?”

Ella gulped. Amelia could see through her completely, she could tell.

“Ella, it’s really… really been great having you here,” Nick said, and she saw as the fight went out in his eyes. He was looking at her with understanding instead of stubbornness now, seeing how much pressure she’d felt through that whole dinner.

And seeing that shift in his gaze made Ella realize… she was the one being stubborn now, herself.

“Alright, time for the main course!” Mary sang with just a hint of franticness in her voice as she stepped out of the kitchen, piping-hot tray of food in her oven-mitted hands. She paused when she saw Ella and Nick were standing.

“Ella… are you leaving?” She asked anxiously, correctly guessing at the truth.

Ella bit her lip and her eyes flickered over to Nick swiftly. She had a decision to make, but before she could even make it her mouth was already moving.

“No, I… I’ll stay for the main course, at least,” she found herself saying, and her legs carried her back to her seat before she knew what was happening.

But when she sat back down, she didn’t regret it in the slightest!