We'll find the middle in the morning light

Sylvia had never felt more content. She awoke with a yawn on her lips and stretched her hands over her head, beaming from ear to ear. For the first time, she actually had a whole bed to herself! She didn’t have to wake up with Gina’s feet kicking her all over the place, or smooshed in with Carly and Marley and now Emmy.

She had the whole bed! To herself! It was such a wonderful feeling she had the urge to repeat it to herself several times over.

But she ignored those urges. They weren’t necessary, after all. No, it was much better to just turn over in bed and enjoy herself! Relish in having all this space to enjoy. Sylvia actually fully turned over in bed on her stomach, and let out a contented sigh.

Yeah… this really was great.

…Sure, there were a bunch of messy consequences in the bed beside her that would probably need to be unpacked once morning came, but for now?

For now, she could just enjoy having her bed and eating it, too.

Sylvia’s insight became prophetic in relatively short order. Not long after she fully woke up, Mary and Holly and Nick did as well. And all three of them had a lot to say about what had transpired last night, in no small part because Mary’s milk had long-since worn off, and now Holly was thinking rationally again. (Well, as rationally as she ever thought, anyway.)

Sensing that this was about to become a big thing, Sylvia snuck away to the bathroom and let the three of them enjoy their time together.

“I… I don’t believe it,” Holly murmured. A cloudy haze was hanging over her eyes. Her hand slowly drifted down to her stomach, as if she could feel the results of last night for herself. Not that she needed to check there. It was all over her body now, which had returned to her original proportions. Her neck and modest chest were still splattered with Nick’s dry semen, and her hair was still drenched with sweat and sticky. Yes, she was definitely going to need a shower- but none of that was important to her right now, no.

There was only one thing at the front of her mind.

“You… came inside of me,” she muttered, shaking her head. Her dazed tone of voice sounded incredulous, as if she were trying to sort through a mess of emotions she wasn’t capable of dealing with. “You… you actually came inside of me…”

“You told me to,” Nick weakly defended himself. “I thought it wasn’t a good idea, but you were so insistent about it… I assumed…” His heart began to pound in his chest. Last time someone had been under the influence of Mary’s milk, it had been Morgana, and she’d wanted him to cum inside of her as well. He’d been able to resist at the time because he knew that the real Morgana wouldn’t want him to get her pregnant, that she wasn’t in her right mind, and he should do that to her. So he’d held himself back. But with Holly it had been different- with Holly… hadn’t she wanted this?

Or had he just made a dreadful mistake that he couldn’t take back?

“It… it’s not like you have a pr-problem with it though, right?” Mary asked, anxiety leaking into her voice. She remembered vividly how joyfully Holly had described the notion of pregnancy when they were all together, and had assumed that her desires had been true. But as hot as Mary found the idea of her best friend being pregnant with Nick’s child as well and the two of them having his babies together, if this was something Holly didn’t want, then…

“No, it… it’s fine,” Holly muttered, shaking her head. She still just felt numb if she was being honest. “It’s really… not a big deal…”

Mary and Nick both felt a little relieved to hear that, but they shared a look of dread. The way Holly was reacting, like she was in shock… …It was problematic, to say the least.

“It… it is a big deal,” Mary timidly corrected her friend, biting her lip. “You… um… maybe you don’t think it is, but…”

“Holly, this is serious,” Nick said, not playing any games here. “Last night, you were talking about how your ideal version of yourself was fertile and easy… easy to…” His face burned just thinking about it, but he had to say it. “…Easy to…”

“Impregnate,” Holly bluntly finished for him. She raised her head and looked into his eyes, and her eyes flashed at him. “I know. I was there, remember?” She reminded him. Did he really think she wasn’t replaying every moment of last night over in her head again and again?

Mary was just a big ball of anxiety at this point. Holly was being unusually serious and cagey, and Mary didn’t know how to handle that. Knowing her best friend, and how open and excited Holly was now about all things sexual, she expected that her deviant bestie would be over the moon, bragging about being pregnant with drool rolling down her chin.

The fact that she wasn’t getting that reaction from her was setting off alarm bells in Mary’s head, and she wasn’t sure what to do about it. Or if anything she said here would just make things awkward and more uncomfortable for everyone.

Holly raised her head and Mary felt the other woman’s eyes drilling holes into her. She flinched, and shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Then Holly slowly drew her eyes over to Nick again, and now they were sharing a tense gaze as well.

“So… I’m really… really pregnant, then,” she muttered, trailing her hand over her belly again. She bit her lip, anxiety blossoming across her face. “Is that… really okay?”

Nick grimaced. “I think it’s a bit late to be asking that question,” he replied. Then he winced. He hadn’t been expecting to sound so rude and condescending, but…

Holly shook her head. “No… no, really. I’m… I’m serious,” she said, looking up at him. “This is all just… so hard to imagine. It’s like I’m dreaming… but is it right to consider this a dream?”

Her head turned down and a real flicker of emotion crossed her face for a brief moment. Nick could see now that she wasn’t in shock any longer; she was finally coming to terms with what had actually transpired, for better or worse.

He really hoped it wasn’t “worse” though.

“What’s wrong?” He asked gently, reaching out to her. He expected Holly to pull away from him, but she sank into his touch instead. She reached up and cupped her hand over his, raised her eyes, and met his gaze once more.

The fog had been lifted and this time he saw glistening understanding and gentle acknowledgment in her gaze. A thin smile slowly spread across her lips.

“Is this really… what you want?” She asked him, her eyes wet and filled, ready to burst if he said the wrong thing.

Nick gasped, realizing what was giving her so much apprehension.

“Holly…”

“I’m… I’m not…” Holly chewed wistfully on her lip. “I’m not… like that anymore. And I don’t know if I ever will be again.”

She briefly glanced over at Mary before returning her focus to Nick, unable to take her eyes off of him for more than a few seconds. “I could be, again. I could drink her milk again… and turn into that version of me again… you’d like me better that way, wouldn’t you? Sexy and curvaceous… seductive… ravenous for you…”

It was hard for Nick to sort through the maelstrom of emotions present in her husky voice. It was as if Holly was simultaneously trying to arouse herself, titillate him, and express her insecurities, all in one clustered jumble of repressed desire. It would take a genius to sort through that tangled knot of emotions, and Dawn was asleep on the floor beneath theirs.

So Nick had to handle this himself.

“I like you just the way you are,” he insisted. There was a good chance this could be the wrong thing to say, knowing how Holly felt about herself. But he didn’t see how it could be a bad thing, for Holly to know how much he adored her. “If you think you have to be ravenous for me, for me to want to sleep with you…”

Mary grimaced. She understood where Holly was coming from better than Nick ever could. But before she could even open her mouth to chastise him, Holly had already beaten her to the punch.

“That isn’t what I’m talking about,” she said adamantly, looking up at him. She shook her head. “I appreciate you feel that way… really, I do. But… I already know that you love me regardless of my looks. What I’m talking about… is the way it felt freeing. Acting like that. Being that person. Not having these doubts and insecurities holding me back.”

Holly had been expecting that to be the result when she tasted Mary’s milk. But even she had been stunned by how far she’d gone. She never would have imagined that she’d allow herself to be impregnated.

It was soooo hot, doing it that way. But there was a bit of buyer’s remorse on her end, as well. Now that it was done, and she was good and knocked up, part of her wished that it had happened with a little more tenderness and intimacy.

Holly had been pulled between her sexual desires and her romantic desires practically all her life. Back when she was infatuated (obsessed) with Nick, she’d had fantasies about him that were normal, understandable fantasies that any hormonal woman might have in the blossom of her youth. Fantasies of him pushing her down, or holding her close, kissing her on the ear and whispering husky words of love right into her brain like the dashing, roguish hero of a romance novel.

But then there were the filthy fantasies. The ones where he would keep her chained to his desk to service him while he ignored her and focused on other things. The ones where she was little more than his sex ****, and even, at her most depraved, the ones where she would find other women for him, hold them down, and let him ravish them.

All those fantasies clashed with her desire to just be loved and cared for like a normal woman. The way a nymphomaniac like me could only dream of. As if… I was normal.

“What? Is it so weird? Dreaming about your wedding?” Mary asked timidly. The two young ladies were eating lunch together in the campus dining hall. Mary had picked out a table way far in the back, away from everyone else, and she still kept her voice in such a low whisper that Holly could barely hear her from right across the table.

The ponytailed girl shrugged. “I mean, kinda?” She replied, not sure what else to say. “Don’t get me wrong, I bet a lot of girls imagine their dream wedding, but like… don’t you have to have a guy for that, first?”

Mary’s freckled face blushed and she squirmed in her seat, adjusting the collar of her sweater. “We-well… that will happen too… someday…”

Not if you’re this shy around boys, Holly thought. Then again, she wasn’t much better. Her own… interests in the male of the species had narrowed quite considerably.

Down to just one fellow in particular, in fact. Not that she could bring herself to say it out loud.

“I just… I guess I’m not used to it yet,” Mary admitted, hanging her head and letting out a sigh. “College, I mean. Everyone’s going to parties, and drinking ****, and… and doing ****, and…”

“And those things are too corrupt for a pure little religious girl like you?” Holly said with a smirk on her lips. Mary could be just the most adorable thing in the world! Holly wanted to take that purity of hers and put it in a little box where she could admire it all day long. For someone like her, who had such depraved, indecent fantasies, Mary’s presence was a reassuring reminder that there were women out there who were sweet and pure and wholesome, without any of the darkness that tinged Holly’s own depraved desires.

She felt like a worse person around Mary. Because she knew how corrupt she was in contrast with her sweet friend. But at the same time, Mary’s presence gave her the urge to be better. To try suppress that side of herself, so she could live a normal life.

That’s what her parents would want for her, after all. What society would want for her. And what she wanted for herself, of course. Of course.

Of course…

I wish I could just be a normal girl with a normal sex drive. The kind of girl who could have a normal love… who could be treasured as a precious gem, and not seen as dirty or disgusting. Holly’s heart sank in her chest, her lunch suddenly seeming so much less appealing. Nick… he would want someone sweet and pure like Mary. Not like me.

She wanted what Mary had so badly. That kind, innocent heart, free of corruption. Like a moth drawn to a flame, Holly was drawn to Mary’s brilliant light. Only she felt like she was a far more hideous bug than a moth.

“I think you’re very lucky, Holly,” Mary murmured, looking sweetly into her friend’s eyes.

Holly stared at her in shock. “Errr… what?”

“You and Nick,” the redhead explained, blushing. “You two… you seem so happy together. When I see you both talking, it makes me feel so fluttery inside. Like you’re perfect together, you know? That’s what I want. The kind of pure, wholesome love that could endure through anything.”

Holly nearly burst out laughing. “Oh, Mary, no, no, you’ve got it all wrong!” She said, waving her hands frantically. “Nick and I, we’re close, yeah, but we’re just friends. That’s all. There’s no way we’d ever be a couple or anything!”

It stung to hear the words from her own mouth, but she couldn’t hide them. Yeah, no way.

Nick deserved someone sweet and pure. Not someone tainted like her.

I guess I didn’t realize it… but this isn’t how I wanted it to happen. Holly could still feel the weight in her belly from what she and Nick had done last night. In my heart… I wanted it to be sweet and tender and wholesome. But… it’s too late now.

She couldn’t rewind the clock. She couldn’t go back in time and get un-impregnated. Holly was going to be a mother now.

And acknowledging that fact…

A smile slowly spread across Holly’s lips as tears rolled slowly down her cheeks. Mary and Nick were both alarmed, neither knowing just what those tears of hers meant.

“A mom…” Holly’s voice cracked, and her body started to tremble. “I’m going to have a baby… me… a baby…”

So what if it wasn’t the way she’d originally wanted it to happen? Holly had listened to Mary talk about her dream wedding for years, and “Everybody watching her husband knocking her up in public” definitely hadn’t been part of the itinerary.

But Mary had adapted. She’d accepted what had happened, and embraced the joy of what it meant for the future, even if the circumstances that led her there had not been what she’d wanted.

With that in mind… Holly could smile, and think to herself about just what this new life growing inside of her could mean.

“I’m going to be a mom… …Shit. I’m going to be a mom!?”

Now that the doubts and anxieties about her relationship with Nick had been addressed, the reality of the situation was sinking in for real now. And judging by the look of dawning horror on Nick’s face, it was occurring to him, too.

Holly was going to be a mother.

Holly.

“Shit!” Her face turned white and she looked at Nick with an expression of raw panic on her face. “I can’t be a mom! Are you shitting me!?”

“What?!” Mary’s face twisted in horror and shock. “What do you mean?!”

“I-I mean… I’m me!” Holly waved emphatically at herself. “I’m a freak! A pervert! A degenerate! I sleep in a fucking cage because it’s so fucking hot! What the hell kind of mother is that!? What am I going to say to our kid!? ‘You see, sweetheart, mommy likes sleeping in her cage because it makes her feel special and wonderful for daddy’ that’s so fucking twisted!”

Nick had to admit that he could see the logic behind Holly’s blind panic. He treasured her and the little quirks (fetishes) she held and embraced, and he was glad that she’d stopped repressing herself and had started to embrace her desires, one of which was getting knocked up.

But when you actually paused and took a look at things from an objective standpoint… what kind of mother would Holly be?

…Yeah, he could understand how she might be a little worried and apprehensive about her present circumstances.

“Holly, you’ll be a wonderful mother!” Mary wasn’t about to let Holly’s negative view of herself deny her the wonderful opportunity of motherhood. She looked at her friend with such a passionate gaze Holly actually flinched.

“Err… M-Mary, I think you’re kinda missing the point,” Holly mumbled, looking warily at her friend. “I’m just saying, being a mom, and me, that’s a little…”

“No, you’ll be a great mother!” Mary finally had someone to share the wonder of motherhood with. She wasn’t about to let Holly start to doubt herself now, especially when there was no way to undo what had actually happened. “We’ll wait until the baby is born, and then we’ll figure out how to live our lives from there. Right, Nick?”

She turned and looked adamantly at him, practically goading him to answer with her eyes. And reasonably so, he had to admit.

Holly would be living in his cage, after all. …Not that he had a cage.

…Should he get a cage?

That was a problem for later. Holly’s mental health in the moment was a problem for right now, and he wasn’t sure he was equipped to help her with it.

But he knew he needed to try.

“Holly, I’m with Mary on this one,” he said adamantly, making the brunette blush. “I think you’d be a wonderful mother. As long as you, um…”

“Repress myself again?” Holly cut to the heart of the matter.

“That’s called being an adult,” Mary gently reminded her. “We can’t all just live out our sexual fantasies forever, Holly. That’s not how it works. If you want to be a mother, you have to understand that your family, your children, come before your own desires.”

Hence why Mary was so adamant on getting other women pregnant. Her body was currently working on nurturing her own children, she couldn’t make more the natural way.

Holly looked like she had tasted something bitter. Mainly because she understood that Mary was absolutely right. Big talk considering once upon a time I questioned if you even had any sexual fantasies to begin with, Mary!

“…I know,” she admitted with a sigh, nodding her head. She gazed longingly up at Nick, and smiled at him. “I wasn’t serious, I mean, about the whole ‘repressing myself’ thing. I understand what it means to be… mature. A mother…”

She rubbed her belly again and started shedding more tears of joy. “A mother… I’m going to be a mommy…”

Nick fell in love with that smile of hers all over again.