Profundus Inferni - Part 4

"Aria!" John cried out, so excited by the success of their efforts that his entire body tensed with barely-restrained joy. Even with a full set of instructions, even knowing the exact details of the ritual and how to adjust it based on her explanations, he had not let himself believe it would work until the pale demoness was before them once again.

But as the seconds ticked on, as brief cries arose from the other onlookers, he still wondered if he had celebrated too soon.

There was no doubt in his mind that it was Aria. She’d made a few slight changes to her appearance - her dress was new, a flowing red-and-black number that ran a little shorter than the blue and purple dress she'd been wearing when he Purified her. And her hair was shorter, now resting across her shoulder in a single braid that fell to her bust line, rather than all the way to her waist.

But aside from that, it was like reliving the moment they'd first met – even the way she was sitting was almost the same as that first meeting. His Observe showed her sheet was nearly identical as well, just the same as it had been before save for the status of being bound to him.

But the woman sitting before him... it was not the socially anxious yet adorably exuberant demoness he had met. As Aria finished forming, in the moments after her eyes first opened and she took in her surroundings, John saw no trace of that frantic joy. In its place was a somber resignation, and, of all things... fear.

"Aria?" John repeated hesitantly. The fleeting, victorious smile that had started to form on his lips faded now, and so too did the cheers and rallying cries of the others. Aria hardly even seemed to hear his words; her only reaction was to curl in on herself, lifting up her knees and hiding her face away. From where he stood in the now-faded circle, he could barely make out the sound of a few words muffled by the fabric of the dress.

"Go away. Please, I don't- I don't wanna do this anymore."

In spite of the short time they'd known each other, Aria's words left deep wounds in John. Flummoxed by the reaction that completely upended his expectations, John stumbled and stammered over himself for a few moments before his mind remembered how to form words.

"A-Aria, I don't- what's wrong?" John's eyes weaved over the circle, wondering if anything had gone awry with the ritual after all, something that could affect her being, her mind, anything to explain this. "Don't want to do what?"

"To see you, to have to... to go through all this again, to keep dealing with it every, single, time," Aria whimpered. John heard a chorus of muffled sobs trail after the words, as Aria began to tremble. "I-I can't. I just can't anymore. Leave me alone."

"I'm not sure what you mean, Aria," John said slowly, eyeing the others. Each of them seemed as perplexed as he was, and he saw no trace of a solution in their expressions. "You were so excited to be here before. Why are you upset now? I never meant to **** you to stay here if-"

"Don't pretend," Aria seethed, though the anger felt hollow, directionless. "It was nice at first, even when I knew it wasn't real. But now it just hurts. I hurt enough now when I'm awake. I'm tired of making it worse by giving in to these little fantasies."

"While you're-" Comprehension dawned on John as the words left his mouth, a comprehension that sent him skittering across the stone, on his knees beside Aria in an instant. His confusion was gone, a frantic energy taking its place. The abrupt movement startled the incubus, at least enough for her to lift her head and peer one eye at John warily.

"Aria, I don't know what's happened to you in the last two days, but I promise, this isn't a dream. I'm really here," John swore.

"Two days?" Aria blinked, leaning back from him, lifting her head just a little further, brows furrowing with a confused indignity. "It's been weeks! I stopped counting days a long time ago. I... am I losing it? Even my dreams are-"

"This isn't a dream!" John's shout was pleading, not angry. What he had hoped would be a joyous reunion was now a new objective, a part of the rescue mission he hadn't accounted for, the timer of her summoning. Before she could go back to moping, John did the first thing that came to mind – he reached out and pinched her.

"O-oww! Hey, what are you-?" Aria began, startled. The moment the thought finished forming, shock stilled the surface of her mind, a blank look overcoming her grief and annoyance with ease.

"It's real, Aria. Please, please, believe me," John pleaded. "You didn't fall asleep. Or if you did, that's not why you're here! This is real. You're out of Hell, or wherever it was you got sent. But you won't be for long if we don't make a pact!"

Aria was already beginning to fade slightly, the very tips of her fingers starting to disperse. That fact didn't escape her notice either; between the two, a stubborn pessimism was just barely enough to cling to her despair. But cling she did. There was a fear that overwhelmed her surprise, her realization, buried it deep below skin where it could not bare her to the world.

"N-no, you're not," she said, her voice wavering. "I know you're not. I've already tried this a hundred times. People can feel pain in dreams, this is just... one of those. A-and John died! He's dead. I felt it. You're just another dream! Or something worse…"

"I did die. I came so close that I saw the goddess of **** herself. I can tell you all about it, if you just make a pact with me before it's too late," John continued to beg, fingers dancing along her arm, staying just ahead of the line of slowly evaporating flesh. "I'm sorry for the last few days. I know I hurt people. I know you and Farrah probably had it worse than the others. But I almost lost everyone. I did lose you. And I don't want to do it again."

"What he says is true, Aria," Sophia proclaimed steadfastly. "Our Father was injured grievously, to the point that we nearly lost him. But he has returned to us, and since the moment he learned of your fate, he has only thought of bringing you back to us."

"I know illusions. This isn't one of them," Vallya crooned. "You're awake, darling."

"I- No, I can't be. This is impossible, and I-I can't do this anymore. Every time I fall asleep it's the same," Aria whimpered, pulling her arm away from him. For a moment John thought she was starting to shiver, but as her fingers flexed against his body, he realized she was weakly trying to push herself away from him.

"This isn't-"

"Every. Time. And every time it gets harder to tell myself it's going to get better one day. I was always a fuck-up as a demon, but at least I wasn't alone before. I miss everyone. I miss you, John; it feels so good just holding you like this. I wish I could enjoy this little fantasy. But I just... I don't have it in me. Every time I let myself believe and it gets ripped away, I lose a little part of myself. If I believe again, I... I don't know if anything is going to be left. I can't believe in dreams anymore."

"I can believe hard enough for you to feel it!" John wasn't even sure that his words made sense, but Aria's arm had vanished nearly to the shoulder now, and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. His mind was clearer than the days before. Thoughts occurred to him – all risky ones. Bringing her back to the Order's manor to try to shock her out of it, Purifying her to try to buy time, or remove the need for a pact entirely.

But before that, while there was still enough of her to hold, John grabbed Aria by the shoulders and pulled her against him ferociously. She made a tiny, choked little squeak as John wrapped his arms around her and made to break her in half, his fingers running through her hair, clinging longingly to her scalp as he leaned in and whispered into her ear.

"You said you can feel emotions if you're close enough, if they're strong enough," John murmured. He could feel the beat of his heart against his own ribcage, trying to physically break through to the incubus. Aria's hands pressed against his body as if to push him away, but they remained still, rigid with shock and **** to part from even what she thought was a false vision.

"Well then, if you can't trust in your own eyes, trust in what you feel! If I'm just a dream, then I'm a part of you—so if you can feel hope in me, then you still have a little left in you, too! Don't lose that hope. If you lose it, I lose you, and I'm not willing to accept that anymore. I won't give up. I'll keep showing up, even if you never fall asleep again, I swear it! I'm not leaving you alone down there, Aria. Not ever again."

Aria spasmed strongly in his grasp, her body twitching and shivering as he spoke. As silence fell, she lifted her remaining hand and grasped at his features, her fingers dancing uncertainly along his neck and the side of his face, seeking stability she couldn't quite trust.

"Yo-you actually mean it, too," Aria whispered fearfully. Her nails skimmed along his cheek, an infernal warmth seeping into his skin. "Don't you?"

"I do," John said firmly, emphasizing the vow with another squeeze around her sides.

"I-I think m-maybe I can do this one more time," Aria warbled. She tucked her face even more tightly into his shoulder, trying to stop the convulsions from jarring her words. "B-but that'll be it. S-so, please, please, please, John... Be real this time."

"Arryaces bat Melkian," John whispered, firmness fading, replaced by soft affection, "I offer you a pact, an eternal vow. Just the same as we had before. Will you enter my service once again?"

"I'm the- ugh, I'm the one who's supposed to be offering the pact," Aria sniffled, pulling away slightly as John began to loosen his grip, not ending the embrace, but allowing their eyes to meet. Crimson irises hidden behind pools of tears looked up at him with a child's trepidation, the fear of a creature caught between a dark reality and a worse nightmare.

"This time will be different."

The simple words brought a steadiness to Aria. She stayed still for a long moment, body still fading, her eyes searching his for truth.

"I accept, John Newman. I will serve you again."

The restoration was near instantaneous, all the fading of Aria's form undone in a fraction of a second. The incubus' eyes widened the moment that it happened, not even turning her gaze toward the restored limb. Her eyes flickered to her chest instead, roving over some metaphysical revelation within.

"I-I can feel it! But I've felt it in dreams before, too, how do I-"

There was no logic to the decision; perhaps it was only done out of the selfish desire to celebrate their reunion. But John didn't waste a single moment, now that he knew Aria wasn't about to be banished again. He leaned forward, covering the gap that had been placed between them in an instant and capturing Aria's lips with his own, pressing all of his worries and affection through that connection.

Aria squeaked, tensing at the sudden contact. There was still a lingering note of fear, of hesitation, a bungee jumper unable to trust her cord. Her fingers curled inward against her palms, fists clenching hard enough to draw blood with her ruby-red nails. But as the lovers' embrace lingered, Aria's instincts and desires began to erode the foundation of that fear, her body relaxing a little more with each moment, her own lips beginning to reciprocate the **** neediness of their reunion.

Finally, with a muffled cry that resonated through John's features, Aria threw her arms around him of her own volition, returning his embrace at last. New tears followed the trails of the old, fresh wetness seeping into John's skin as Aria began to sob more openly. She pressed herself against him with renewed fury, angrily refusing to allow even her own body's involuntary contractions separate them for even an instant.

They stayed like that for what may as well have been hours, for all the difference John could tell. The sensations of Aria's lips against his again and the knowledge that she wasn't about to be taken from him were all that filled his mind. The two of them savored the connection until their lips began to numb, until their touch-starved minds, their need for reassurance and security, dwindled enough to be set aside.

"I don't know how to convince you that all this is real," John admitted, when at last they parted, jaw still quivering from the intensity of the exchange. "But now, we have all the time in the world to prove it to you."

"I, I'm r-reall- I'm scared," Aria whispered shakily, heaving as she glanced around. "I've seen this exact thing before. Maybe not felt it, not quite like this, but almost exactly the same. Everyone's here. All my new friends worked to find me. I-I don't deserve that, do I? I'm just a demon. This has to be another dream."

"This is real, Aria. And of course you deserve it. I can't prove that to you in a way that you'll believe when you're this scared." John’s hands caressed her sides tenderly. "But we'll be here for you until you're not afraid anymore. As long as it takes. You're awake, Aria. We're not going to disappear."

"John, I... I need that to be true," Aria whispered, lowering herself to rest in the cradle of his shoulder again. "It was awful. So awful. You were right, John, there aren't any other demons in this world. Not in all of Hell."

"We don't have to talk about it until you're ready, Aria."

"N-no, I want to. I want to talk about it, about anything right now. I haven't talked to anyone in so long." Aria gave a whimper that would've put a newborn pup to shame as she quivered in John's arms. "I thought I was gonna be down there alone. Forever..."

"I'm sorry. It really has only been two days here." One of John's hands traveled along Aria's spine, tracing the lines of her form. It continued up until it delicately weaved between the satiny lines of her frazzled blonde strands to cosset her adoringly. "I made a mistake. No, more than that—I made a lot of mistakes, ignored a lot of red flags, and nearly got myself killed. I was clinically dead for eight minutes, and **** for two days. But that was just a few hours ago now. As soon as I woke up, the moment Sophia told me what had happened, I rushed off to bring you back."

"That doesn't make any sense. Time shouldn't pass any differently. But then again... none of this was in the books I read, either," Aria admitted. John didn't pull back, but he could feel her shift as she glanced around the circle, at the landscape of John's new world and the motley crew of different species encircling them. "M-maybe it's different in this place?"

"Maybe," John agreed, nuzzling his cheek against hers. "But we don't have to worry about figuring out whether that's the case, because I'm back now, and I am never going to send you to that place."

"Thank you," Aria mewled. "It was bad enough when it happened. I felt our bond break, felt you... felt you die. And then I was back in Hell. Only it was different, and- and empty. I walked for days, and never saw anyone, any sign that there had ever been a person there at all. Just endless empty space…"

John's jaw tightened as Aria murmured her story into his sleeve. It was exactly the sort of thing that was always in the back of his mind. Of what would happen if he accidentally got himself killed – leaving his creations, his lovers and family, stuck in his new world with no way out. At least they would have had each other, and ways to provide for themselves. Aria was isolated, trapped in a world that was no less a prison for its abundance of space... and without even the mercy of a mortal lifespan to end that imprisonment naturally, if it came to that.

"I understand why you were so scared now," John crooned. The idea of Aria—or any of his creations, for that matter—wandering around like that in an empty, desolate world filled him with a chill that was certainly just a fraction of what the actual experience must have been like.

"Terrified." Aria's voice broke at the word, and she clung a little tighter to John's shirt. "I've always been so bad at weaving my name and ritual into the mortal world from my old world; what if I couldn't do it at all in this new one? I started sleeping because it was the only way I could escape for a little while.”

Aria gave a loud, shuddering sniffle, her voice rising as she tried to keep it from breaking altogether.

“B-But, I- I'd just dream of you, and when I woke up, it was like being trapped all over again, and I didn't know what to do! It was driving me mad to count away the seconds while I was awake, but it was breaking me a little more every time I tried to sleep to pass the days by. I can split myself up into different bodies, but that’s so fucking pathetic when you’re isolated like that. I was just having conversations with myself. And even that got old after a couple of weeks."

"It's over. It's all over now, Aria." John gently continued to massage her scalp as angry, bitter tears began to trickle from his own eyes at last, grief now amplified by anger and resentment at his stupidity and what it had cost her. "I wish that I could have woken up sooner. Or prevented it all in the first place. I can't fix what's already been done, but I'll do anything it takes to make it up to you. I promise."

"T-thank you. I can tell you really mean it, too. Um, but, if it's only been two days..." Aria grimaced as she pulled back, sniffling in a way that might have been adorable if she didn't look so broken. The tepid relief that had begun to ebb over the mountain of fear retreated in the face of new worries. "I didn't miss the war, did I? You're still going off to fight.? What if- what if it happens again? I mean, I don't want to sound selfish. I mean, you'd be dying, it sounds really self-centered to be worried about getting banished, but I- I just- even if this is real, now it might get taken away again anyway? Now the war-"

"Aria."

Sophia's voice was as unyielding as the woman herself. But there was a gentle comfort as she crossed the distance of the pentagram, joining John and Aria in kneeling upon the stone slab. Her wings unfurled from her back, shimmering into reality. One rested its ebony feathers across the dusty stone floor, while the other bent to curve around Aria protectively, joining John's arms in shielding her from the world's wicked rules that had caused her so much grief.

"We cannot promise anyone's safety. Such is the way of life." Sophia rested her left hand on Aria's shoulder firmly, a soldier's comfort before the forward blitz. "But know this. Even if our Father had truly fallen, even if we were buried in our grief for a time, we would not have allowed you to remain trapped in that place. We would have called you to us in time, and another would have forged a pact with you."

"You're sure? I'm just an incubus. I mean, I guess I'm kind of a rarity in this world," Aria fretted, "but I'm still just a demon that got summoned up. Most of the people who summon us treat us as toys, let alone the others around them. You'd really go through all that effort?"

"Of course. But not because you are a rarity, though you are certainly unique." Sophia's crooning tone took on an affectionate tease as her fingers grazed Aria's cheek. "Because you are a member of this little family we have forged. We may part ways, but you will never be left behind."

Aria's eyes lingered on Sophia wordlessly, then slowly trailed around the circle once more. Affection, care, worry... she saw them in every set of eyes that was turned her way. Even John made sure to give her the warmest gaze he could manage, holding her eyes until she finally blushed and turned away.

"I'm... I'm- I really hope this is real, because I'm so happy to be home," Aria finally squealed. She shivered and twitched once more in his arms, a dry sob racking her body.

Her words carried a weight she had not intended. John's eyes crept away from Aria long enough to see the look of mourning on Vallya's face, her tails dipping slightly as her arms wrapped around her midsection protectively.

"That's right, Aria." John's voice rose as he spoke, loud enough to easily carry around the small circle, though his focus returned to the incubus in his arms. "...You are part of this family. No matter how long it takes, no matter what has to be done, we will bring you home. Never forget that."

John shifted his grip around Aria's body, adjusting her position gently until he could properly heft her up into a princess carry. She didn’t startle at the motion, didn’t give any sign that she doubted the safety of his embrace, only the truth of it. Some of the fear of what might or might not be real was clearly still there, but the language of her body was clear as she nestled into John’s protective arms.

“Come on, everyone,” John announced wearily. “This has been a long couple of days. Longer for some of us than others. We all need to relax and put this behind us.”