That's not a worthy explanation, I know there is none

Nick’s heart was pounding with excitement.

It was kind of hard for it not to be. After all, even if one ignored the impact of the boiling water he was now submerged in up to his neck after falling backwards on his body temperature, at the moment he had an adorable girl half on top of him, pressing her slender body against his, right in his face with those big, round eyes of hers.

She was so close that Nick could actually see the glimmering line where contact lens met sclera. That was how much detail he could make out on her face. He saw every blemish on her flushed skin, the tiny, ruddy bumps of acne and the scars it had left behind, so faint that one would scarcely care, not at all unlike the tiny scars he no-doubt still carried as a reminder of his teenage years.

For Morgana, they were mortifying. But he couldn’t care less. Her face, almost unchanged compared to the rest of her body, was still just as cute, ghostly pale skin or not.

Just like how the feeling of her body against his was still arousing him, even without her enhanced breasts filling the space between their chests.

“Hah… hah…” Morgana, still dazed from her tumble, was panting hard, her eyes unfocused as she looked down at her lover. Nick swallowed, feeling the uncomfortable throbbing of his cock, which was lost somewhere between where their thighs were meeting. Tantalizingly close to the bud of her womanhood, but thankfully a million miles away for all it mattered at the moment.

Damn it. It was insistent, though, even if Nick was struggling not to listen to its persuasive urges trying to compel him.

The husky gasps in his ear from the overstimulated goth girl were free from the effects of Sotto Voce, they were too different from Morgana’s normal speaking timbre. But if Nick thought that meant he’d found himself a reprieve he was sorely mistaken. No, feeling her breath so close to his ear, hearing the ****, pleading whine of her voice, it was affecting him even more than if she were using her transformation on him.

It took everything he had to not grab her by the waist, yank her down onto his angry shaft, and just pound away at her like his body was screaming at him to. She could take it. Whatever he dished out, she could definitely take it, Like a Virgin had not been suppressed, meaning he could do practically anything he wanted with her and she’d be perfectly fine after a good night’s rest.

That look in her eyes… he could see she wanted it, too. Maybe even more than he did. She’d spent all morning lying to herself, trying to convince herself that this wasn’t what she wanted, but he could see that behind all the doubt and insecurity, behind her struggle to be seen as more than just a slutty goth with a hot body to fuck, deep down inside…

…Deep down inside, Morgana wanted the same thing she’d wanted from the moment she set foot on the island, and quite a while before then, even.

She wanted to be his. Physically. Carnally. Every cell in her body was screaming it, and the pleading look in her eyes was begging him not to listen to everything her mouth had said earlier.

What am I doing? Nick asked as he gazed into those deep pools of crimson staring desperately back at him. Why am I fighting so hard to resist this? It’s what we both want, isn’t it? For me to take her? For me to be with her completely, to make her… make her into that goth sex toy she’s been fantasizing about all this time?

Everything she’d said this morning about wanting more than that, about wanting to form a real relationship with him, it all seemed hollow and fake now compared to the sincere, primal need he saw in her eyes. She might have been trying to hide it due to insecurity, or doubt, or some misguided belief that she should want something more, but deep down inside they could both see that Morgana wanted this. Maybe they could have both.

“Please…” Morgana mewled cutely in his ear. “Even if I don’t look hot and sexy anymore… please be with me?”

…What?

Was she crazy or something?

“Even if I don’t look hot and sexy anymore?”

Did Morgana not understand how much he wanted her right now? How fucking aroused he was? So she didn’t have huge boobs, did she think that somehow made her no longer sexy? That **** look in her eye, that slender body of hers, that pleading lilt in her voice, it all came together in a perfect blend of forbidden lust that made him ache. And hot?! Right now, Nick’s body was on fire, and the spring they were bathing in might as well have been ice water for how much of a difference it made!

Nick reached up slowly to caress her body, feeling her smooth skin. No longer free of blemishes but still somehow just as flawless, as perfect, because of who it belonged to. His hands trailed up her waist, moving to cup her tiny, shapely breasts, and the little yelp she made…

“H-hahn!” Morgana squeaked atop him, her slender hips shaking. She was so much lighter now, but just as sensitive, and her delicate body sank lower as she slid between his legs. He felt her warmth and softness rub up against him and his dick throbbed in ravenous approval as he reached down lower, moving to cup her…

With a gasp Nick pushed her away, feeling as though a bolt of lightning had come crashing down on him. It was like the electricity in the air had turned back and shocked him, and suddenly touching Morgana felt like being exposed to a live wire.

With a far less seductive yelp Morgana tumbled backwards into the water, and for a moment the only sign of her was a pool of midnight-colored hair swirling on the surface.

She burst up a second later, gasping and panting and puking up spring water, staring incredulously at Nick as she gagged. Nick was too tired from everything that had just transpired at this point, struggling to catch his breath as they made eye contact with one another, shooting questioning glances back and forth as they both tried to process what just happened.

Neither one of them knew for sure how they’d gotten pulled apart like that, when everything in their bodies wanted them on top of each other.

“Wh-why… huh?” Morgana stammered out, prying her sopping wet bangs away from her face in confusion as she stared dubiously at her date. “Nick?”

“I… I don’t… I…” Nick didn’t have an answer for the question he saw in her eyes. His dick was still dominating his thoughts, demanding him to start again, to grab her again, and the rest of his body wasn’t putting up much of a fight either.

But he didn’t move. He just kept staring at her, asking himself the same questions Morgana was no doubt asking as well.

“…I’m sorry?” He managed to **** out, feeling like an absolute fool. They’d established by now that “I’m sorry” was perhaps the weakest thing either of them could ever say to one another at this point, it solved nothing.

Morgana gulped and shook her head up and down slowly in a tentative nod. “I… I’m sorry… too…” she mumbled, leaving Nick even more confused than before. He stared questioningly at her as she raised her shoulders in a lopsided shrug before looking back at him, chewing nervously on her lip.

“Morgana?”

“I… I shouldn’t have…” she moved to cover her blushing face. “I shouldn’t have done that… after… after everything I said, about… about not wanting to-! I…! I shouldn’t-! I-!”

She was an absolute mess and he couldn’t do anything about it. He saw it play out in front of him as a helpless witness, watching painfully as Morgana’s self-esteem slowly crumbled before his eyes. Nick wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort her, but he knew if they touched again that he wouldn’t be able to control himself.

So why did that stop him? Why wasn’t he doing what his body absolutely fucking wanted him to do, what it was screaming at him to do?

…Because Morgana had pleaded with him not to a couple of hours ago?

“Nick…” Morgana weakly mumbled, peeking through her eyes. “I… what did I… what was I…?”

How could he fix this? How could he answer her questions, how could he ease the pain he could clearly see blazing in her breast?

Nick had no idea. Morgana… Morgana was completely lost to him right now. He couldn’t begin to understand what had motivated her. It was like he was dealing with two different people. There was the side of her that had wanted him not to lust after her today, that had wanted to have a friendly, romantic date where they got to know each other, and then there was the side of her that had just said seconds earlier that they should give into what they were feeling and have sex.

He was under the effect of her Sotto Voce transformation. What was Morgana’s excuse?

It seemed like she was asking herself that very same thing right now. Slowly she lowered her hands and raised her face up to meet his, and he saw a strange look in her eye that he couldn’t identify.

“…I’m sorry,” she said, as useless and meaningless as the apologies he’d given. She scooted towards him in the water, still on her knees, and his breath hitched in his throat. Already his body was responding again to her presence, even though she was still a ways out of reach.

The two shared another heated stare, only this time it was as if an invisible wall had been erected between them.

Suddenly Nick found his voice had returned. “No, I… I should be the one apologizing,” he stammered. “I shouldn’t have… pushed you like that. Are… are you okay?”

Morgana blinked for a moment and then swallowed, and nodded slowly. “Yes, I… I’m fine,” she assured him. “That didn’t bother me…”

She covered her chest shyly.

“…Were you… not pleased with me?” She asked, her tone aching with hurt. “Because I didn’t have… my transformations?”

Nick winced. That was what he’d been afraid of. That she’d mistaken his rejection of her advances as a rejection of her body. And could he really blame her for thinking that way?

Still… while he couldn’t be certain exactly what had been driving his actions just now, he knew it certainly wasn’t that.

“No,” his voice cracked as he shook his head. “That’s not it… it’s not, Morgana, I swear. Y-you… you were…”

Morgana was scooting closer to him and he held up his hand to stop her. When she saw his hand raised, she froze in place.

“Just… please stay back,” he pleaded, finding it hard to even look her in the eyes right now with his body in the state it was in. “I… I don’t know if I can control myself!”

Morgana blinked, and her eyes widened in awe. “Wait… r-really?” She scooted a couple inches closer. Almost close enough to touch now.

“Yes!” Nick pleaded, scooting backwards himself to maintain the previous distance between the two of them. Forget her voice, it was like every part of her body was exuding pheromones right now and even just being in her presence was too much to take.

Morgana chewed on her lip, mulling over what he was saying. “So… then why… why are you…?” That was the part she didn’t understand. “Why don’t you want me, then…?”

Nick flinched at her question. Not only because it was a painful question to hear the poor girl ask, given her self-esteem problems, but because of the ache he heard in her voice.

It wasn’t desperation or despair. It sounded…

Hopeful.

As if she was clinging to something. The pressure that hope put on Nick to give her the right answer was almost unbearable, and he raised his head, looking helplessly into those sparkling red eyes of hers.

“Morgana…” he managed to stammer out. “I… I just… I didn’t want…”

He finally met her eyes, and saw the burning desire in there mixed together with desperation. It was the kind of expression he should have been expecting but for some reason it seemed like those two emotions were tugging her in different directions.

Like her desperation was clashing with her desire.

Like…

Suddenly he understood. It was so much simpler than he’d been trying to fool himself this whole time. He hadn’t pushed her away because he wasn’t attracted to her, obviously that wasn’t the case. Or because he thought she was forcing herself.

“…Morgana, I don’t think I’d be able to hold back,” he said sincerely, gazing into those yearning pools of red. “It took everything I had to get you off me just now.”

He expected his words to hurt, but that wasn’t what he saw reflected in her gaze. She leaned forward excitedly and slowly nodded, mirroring the body language of an attentive student absorbing every word of her teacher’s lecture.

“…You were right when you said this morning that we need to be more than just sexually compatible,” Nick said, managing to avoid tripping over his words too badly. “We need to connect emotionally, Morgana, I get it now. It’s about more than just our bodies or my sexual desires or anything like that. I… I really like you. And I want to spend today getting to know you as a person.”

And if we have sex in the hot spring, I don’t think we’ll stop, even after we get kicked out for going over the time limit, he silently added.

Morgana’s expression was unreadable. She soaked up his words like a sponge but didn’t react, which was unusual for her. With how much she wore her heart on her sleeve, Nick found himself stunned by how unexpressive she was at that moment.

Then she smiled.

“So… you want me,” she said with surprising bluntness, straightening up slightly in the water. She no longer covered her breasts, letting her arms flop gently to the sides as she gazed up at him. “Even though I look like this?”

Nick gulped. His dick throbbed in frustrated approval, cursing its owner for not giving in to what they both wanted.

Swallowing, he **** himself to nod. “I do,” he croaked out. Her words made him want her even more thanks to her transformation.

“…But you pushed me away,” Morgana said slowly. “Because… you wanted… to get to know me as a person…? Without… without having sex…”

Her words came out stilted and hazy, like she was talking in her sleep. Frankly, Nick wasn’t quite sure how much of her was actually there, if he was being honest.

She was staring at him like she was hypnotized. Or maybe the heat from the hot spring was getting to her.

These were, of course, just excuses Nick was making up to try and explain away her behavior. He was quite aware that Morgana was in a proper state of mind, she was just somewhat aroused. And for once, he couldn’t even blame the spa for doing it, since they’d used the hot spring plenty of times in the past without it affecting them.

No… this was Morgana. Morgana who had almost given into her desires for no discernible reason, and now…

“…I wanted to have sex,” the goth girl admitted sheepishly. “I thought… seeing you like that… feeling you lust after me… I gave up.”

She looked like she was going to cry. Her lip quivered as she tried to smile, and Nick saw her emotions crystallizing in the corners of her eyes.

Slowly they rolled down her cheeks, mixing with her sweat.

“I was so sure… that you’d given up…” Morgana whimpered. “That you were just going to see me for sex… that… that it was my fault… because of my transformation…!”

…So that’s what it was…

“Morgana…” Nick said gently, reaching out to her out of instinct but pulling his hand away, not sure what would happen if he touched her again.

She raised her head and looked up into his eyes.

…

…

…

…

An eternity of silence passed between the two. Nick wished that the lack of stimulation would give him time for his body to calm down, but it wasn’t working. Instead of relaxing, it was like the world had been put on pause, and that included his sexual urges.

“…But you pushed me away,” Morgana finally said, wiping away her eyes. She shivered in spite of the warm water around her as tears and snot rolled down her cheeks. “I thought… I thought… that you pushed me back, because you didn’t want me, but…”

Morgana had no idea what she was doing. That much was readily apparent.

Ten minutes ago, she’d given up hope that Nick would see her as anything other than a sexual object, and so she’d decided to just embrace it and take what she could, even though it crushed her.

Then he pushed her away.

Five minutes ago, she’d assumed he’d rejected her because she wasn’t attractive to him like this, and he only wanted her when she was big and curvy like she used to be.

But then he said otherwise.

Now?

Now, Morgana didn’t know WHAT to think. Or what to feel.

Somehow, Nick had maneuvered through the tangled web of her conflicting emotions and desires, and found the one right path that let her feel safe and secure with who she was.

He didn’t see her as unappealing or unattractive in this body; he was sexually aroused, so sexually aroused that he couldn’t keep his hands off of her.

But even then, he didn’t want to see her as just a sexual object, either, he had pushed her away because he really wanted to get to know her as a person today, not just have sex.

Morgana didn’t know what to feel. She was giddy, so giddy she couldn’t stop giggling, even as her vision blurred with tears. She felt so light and free as she sank back into the water and stared up at the sky, trembling blissfully as Nick looked on in confusion, hoping that whatever had happened it would all be okay.

He had no idea just how “okay” she actually felt.