Blake and the Blowjobs… chapter 16

A young woman’s problems in a highly pornified future world.

(All characters in this story, that do anything erotic, are at least 18 years old)

Between the station and the cottage were two incredible little dolls' houses. One was marked Cinderella's House and Mistress Mary Quite Contrary was making the garden grow rows of erect cocks on shrubs. The other one needed no sign; the Three Little Pigs, and Big Bad Wolf was stuck in its chimney.

"Kid stuff!" says Junior, and added, "Hey, Charlie, do we eat here? Huh?"

"We just gas up," answered Charles. "Find a pebble to chew on. Your mother has declared a hunger strike."

Mother did not answer and headed toward the cottage. We went inside, a bell bonged, and a sweet contralto voice boomed, "Come in! Dinner is ready!"

The inside was twice as big as the outside and was the prettiest dining room imaginable, fresh, new, and clean. Heavenly odours drifted out of the kitchen. The owner of the voice came out and smiled at us.

We knew who she was because her kitchen apron had "Mrs. Santa Claus" embroidered across it. She made me feel slender, but for her it was perfectly right.

Can you imagine Mrs. Santa Claus being skinny?

"How many are there?" she asked.

"Four," said Mother, "but-" Mrs. Santa Claus disappeared into the kitchen.

Mother sat down at a table and picked up a menu. I did likewise and started to drool – I was drooling more than if a cock was in front of me. Here is why:

Mrs. Santa Claus Kitchen

Minted Fruit Cup Rouge

Pot-au-feu a la Creole

Chicken Velvet Soup

Roast Veal with Fine Herbs

Ham Soufflé

Yankee Pot Roast

Hawaiian Lamb

Lyonnaise Potatoes

Riced Potatoes

Sweet Potatoes Maryland

Glazed Onions

Asparagus Tips with Green Peas

Chicory Salad with Roquefort Dressing

Artichoke Hearts with Avocado

Beets in Aspic

Cheese Straws

Miniature Cinnamon Rolls

Hot Biscuits

Sherry-Almond Ice Cream

Rum Pie

Pêches Flambées Royales

Peppermint Cloud Cake

Devil's Food Cake

Angel Berry Pie

Milkshakes (Strawberry, Chocolate, Cum)

Coffee Tea Milk

(Our water is trucked fifteen miles; please help us save it.)

Thank you. Mrs. Santa Claus

It made me dizzy, so I looked out the window. We were still stuck in the middle of the grimmest, fuckless, desert in the world.

I started counting the calories in that subversive document. I got up to three thousand and lost track, because fruit cups were placed in front of us. I barely tasted mine - and my stomach jumped and started nibbling at my windpipe.

Charles came in, said, "Well!" and sat down, too. Junior followed.

Mother said, "Charles, this food is looking so unhealthy - " She headed for the kitchen.