Reality

Darx was breathing hard, trying to calm himself down.

“They were just dreams.” He told himself. Darx had gotten used to his dream world, used to the fragments of himself that talked to him in there. He had gotten used to those dreams. He told himself that’s why those nightmares shook him. That those dreams got to him because he wasn’t used to those types of dreams anymore.

Darx also knew those dreams held some real fears he had. Kase had taken Amelia back after Wendy broke his power, he could take Darx’s mother back, take Syvis back. If they found Amelia, could Kase take control of her again too?

“No Kase, not this time. This time I’m going to stop you. This time I will win.” Darx said under his breath, willing himself to believe it.

“Mmmmh.” He heard, and looking to his left saw Neku roll towards him, put her arm over his chest. Darx smiled as he felt her warmth and softness. He wasn’t alone anymore. It wasn’t just him facing Kase. He’d use his guild, the church, they’d go to the Queen. Everyone would know the monster Kase was. He was going to be exposed and defeated, once and for all. Syvis and his mother would be safe. Then he’d go find Amelia, bring her back. Everyone would be together again. Everyone would be safe.

Syvis was the key. She hadn’t freaked out when Kase was away from her. She’d be able to talk to the Queen, they could even go to Agnes. It wouldn't be just Darx's word against Kase's. Syvis was from Oblivion, they'd listen to her. Then they would exposed Kase, everyone would know. Everyone would be safe. He’d have them all back again.

Darx snuggled into Neku’s embrace and drifted back to sleep. Everything was going to change tomorrow.

It was a few hours later when Darx opened his eyes. He felt sluggish, he hadn’t slept well. But he awoke with purpose and more importantly, hope. For the first time since that night when he found Syvis and Kase together, Darx had real hope that things could be good again.

“Good morning Darx.” Neku said. “Did you sleep well?” Wendy and Neku were sitting at the small table in his room.

“Well enough.” Darx answered as he went over everything that had happened yesterday, and last night in his head.

“Namy and Usofra didn’t come back?” Darx asked.

“Yeah, after you passed out they left.” Wendy stated. “Something about the other energy they felt from you.”

“They wanted to do some research. Find out what kind of energy that was.” Neku added.

“Are you two okay with what happened, with demons being involved?” Darx asked.

Wendy shrugged.

“It’s not ideal, Darx, but we’ll figure it out.” Neku answered for them both. “But is that really what you want to talk about?”

“No.” Darx answered, “I just wanted to make sure you both are okay.”

“It’s definitely the strangest thing that I’ve ever experienced Darx.” Wendy said, “But if our plan works, today is going to be even crazier.”

“Yeah.” Darx answered.

“We’ve been talking.” Neku began.

“Neku was talking, I am hungry.” Wendy corrected her.

“I think the training rooms would be a good place to take Syvis.” Neku responded.

The training rooms were old thick-walled stone rooms beneath Midnight Dawn. Earth mages had formed them long ago, and they were practically indestructible. You had to go deep into the guild hall to get there.

“Why there?” Darx asked.

“We don’t think she’ll freak out, Darx. But we don’t know for sure.” Neku continued. “And it would be very hard for Kase to follow us there, even invisible.”

Good points, Darx couldn’t argue with Neku’s logic. Not that he wanted to, Neku figuring out the best place to start their plan brought them one step closer to starting it.

“Will Estella let us take her there?” Darx asked. “She is a member of Oblivion.”

“Her and Wendy, they both aren’t in our guild.” Neku answered. “But Stella will do it for me.” Neku’s smile was confident. Darx had seen her in action in the church. Neku could be scary when she was intimidating people and getting her way. Was Estella, the leader of Midnight Dawn scared of her too?

“Don’t look at me like that, Darx.” Neku said. “She’s my best friend, and you are, well, you. Of course she’ll let us use the training room.”

Darx got dressed and the three of them headed out of the church to go to Midnight Dawn. The guards let them go, Priest Gabriel had approved Darx’s plan to re-join his guild and start building up a joint **** between the church and Midnight Dawn. Darx’s plans for today had changed significantly, but the Priest didn’t need to know about that.

The first rays of sunlight were starting to lighten the morning sky as they walked across the heart of the city toward the Midnight Dawn guild hall. The city square was beautiful and except for a few stragglers of the night before and some workers getting an early start on the day, the square was largely empty. Usually an early morning stroll like this would be peaceful, but Darx felt anything but at peace. Leaving the confines of the church made him anxious. Kase could be anywhere, of course, but being in the open Darx felt particularly unsafe.

But today it went deeper than that. Darx felt like he had forgotten something, like something wasn’t quite right. He thought over his plan. Going to his guild hall, sending a message to Syvis. They’d get her to the training rooms and break Kase’s power over her. It was simple and low-risk, why did he feel like he was missing something?

The grand entrance to the Midnight Dawn guild hall came into sight and Darx pushed down his anxiety. Everything was accounted for, the plan was simple and they would figure out the next steps after they freed Syvis from Kase’s control. Those nightmares had unnerved him, and he was overthinking things, Darx told himself. He wouldn’t let fear push him into inaction. He wouldn’t be that person anymore.

As they approached the entrance Darx froze. Once he stepped through those doors he would be back. No longer recuperating in the church, no longer secluded away from the world. He would be back to being an adventurer again. It was what he wanted, but it also terrified him. He wasn’t just Darx anymore. The Priest was preaching about him. The leaders of other races were coming to see him. He last walked through the doors to his guild a B-rank adventurer with a weird card. This time he would walk in as the Heir to Zrephia, and he wouldn’t just be a guild member anymore, he was connected to the church now. Things wouldn’t be the same. He didn’t know how the guild would receive him.

“Are you alright, Darx?” Wendy asked him.

“I’m. . . I’m okay.” Darx answered. “It’s just, so much has changed. I’m not the same person I was when I was here.”

Neku hugged him. “We’re here for you Darx.”

It helped. It helped knowing that Neku was friends with Estella, and Estella knew about Neku’s connections to the church as well. His guild leader shouldn’t be a problem.

Neku walked with him to the entrance and pulled open the doors. They walked into the public area of the guild hall, where Midnight Dawn, unlike other guilds, allowed other guild members and civilians to go. They went to the bar, greeted Rania, the guild’s Elven bartender, and ordered breakfast. Darx was hungry, but he was more focused on his plan to get Syvis away from Kase, so after ordering some eggs and meat, he went to find Estella.

When Darx returned Estella had already sent a crow with a message for Syvis to meet them in the Midnight Dawn tavern, their food had been delivered, and Wendy and Neku were already eating. Darx went to eat his breakfast and smelled a spicy, meaty smell coming from Wendy’s direction.

“What is that?” Darx asked.

“That, Darx, is Riledo stew.” Rania answered.

“Riledo Stew?” Darx had never heard of it.

“You’ve been in the city for a year, Darx, and you don’t know what Riledo stew is?” Wendy asked, surprised.

“Well, I was gone for ten months.” Darx answered. It was almost a year since Darx had gone through his awakening, but after he left the training at the castle he wasn’t in the city much at all. Eight months stuck in a magical Zrephian prison had a big part to play in that.

“Oh, yeah . . . sorry.” Wendy responded with her mouth full.

“Riledo Stew,” Neku explained, “Is made from the leftover meat and vegetables from the day before. People used to make it then let it stay warm by the fire all night then eat it in the morning.”

“It smells spicy.” Darx said.

“Oh, it is.” Wendy said. “You guys make it right, too, not like those fancy cooks in the castle.”

Rania smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” She said. “You want some more?” she signaled to the bowl as Wendy used a hunk of bread to clean the last bits of stew out.

“Oh yes, please.” Wendy gushed.

“Darx.” A voice called out. “Syvis got the message, she’s dressing and will be here shortly.”

Darx turned to see Estella entering the tavern. She moved gracefully across the floor, her long black dress swishing quietly around tables and chairs.

“Estella.” Neku said, as she walked to where Estella stood. Darx smiled, Neku had described Estella as her best friend when they were alone, but here in public Neku greeted her formally.

“It’s good to see you Neku.” She said, smiling warmly. “Have things gone well?”

“Things remain calm.” Neku answered. “No incidents to report.”

Darx had a feeling they were communicating far more than their words let on.

The red-haired leader of the Midnight Dawn acknowledged Darx before stepping past him to speak to Wendy.

“I hear I owe you thanks for watching over my guild member.” She said.

“Seriously, I haven’t done anything.” Wendy said, talking with her mouth full of stew.

“Without you everything would be in worse shape, and so I thank you.”

“Okay.” Wendy said, much more interested in her meal than Estella’s words.

It was then that a large black bird flew into the guild and landed on Estella’s shoulder. It wiped it’s beak on her shoulder, made a sound somewhere between a click and a chirp, then turned around and flew up to perch on a rafter in the tavern’s ceiling.

“She’s coming Darx.” Estella stated.

“Syvis got the message?” Darx asked.

“Yes, she wrote that she’d be right over and she is now dressing.” Estella answered.

Darx thought about Syvis dressing, about mornings in her greenhouse, waking up, watching her move, watching her get ready for her day. Yesterday it would have given him a headache and broke his heart to think of his time with Syvis, but now? He knew what had happened, but it wasn’t her fault, she was controlled, manipulated. He was going to get her back.

“Is the safe room ready?” Darx asked.

“You really think you need the safe room?” Estella asked him.

“Amelia killed a woman when her control was broken, Syvis is far more dangerous than Amelia.” Darx answered. Estella looked to Neku.

“We don’t think she’ll turn violent, we just want to be careful.” Neku said.

“Alright, but Darx, what if Syvis isn’t being mind-control?” Estella asked him.

“I’ll deal with that if it happens, but I know she’s being controlled. She and my mom, just like Amelia, Kase is controlling them and we’re going to break it. Anyway, we need to get set up. Come on Wendy, she’ll be here soon. Send Syvis to the Safe Room when she arrives please, Estella.” Darx said, his spirits high.

“I’ll stay here and bring her down Darx.” Neku offered. “I want to talk to Stella.”

“Good luck, Darx.” Estella added, her expression conveying her sincerity. “I hope you find what you are looking for.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” Darx said, heading into the heart of the guild and then down to the safe room. It wasn’t very big, and it wasn’t indestructible, just a place Guild members could practice things they wanted to keep hidden from the rest of the world without worrying about breaking the building.

Darx was pacing around the stone room, the plan was simple and fool-proof. Syvis would walk in, they would get her away from the door. Wendy would hug her, breaking Kase’s control and blocking her magic. Then they just had to deal with the fallout, help Syvis adjust without hurting innocent people. He was going to get her back. He was going to fix what Kase had broken.

“Darx. . .” The voice was familiar, his heart leapt inside of him.

“Syvis.” Darx said, as he turned.

Darx turned, saw her standing there. Her pink hair, her dark skin, she was really there. Syvis was wearing a long, tightly fitted dress that covered her arms and neck. It was far different from the revealing outfits Darx was used to seeing her in, but it did almost nothing to hide her figure. Darx's heart leapt at the sight. Syvis was right there, and while she wasn’t his yet, she would be.

“Come here Syvis.” He commanded as a smile spread over his face, he couldn’t wait for her to be free, to be the woman he loved again.

“Okay Darx, whatever you need, I’ll do it.” She stepped forward, Neku entered behind her and sealed the door, taking her place as guard. Darx could see the sorrow and pain in Syvis' eyes. It reminded him of his mom, wanting to fix things, but unable to break Kase’s control. He nodded to Wendy, and she came up behind Syvis and hugged her.

“What is this Darx?” Syvis asked, confused.

Darx waited. Maybe it would take a second to kick in.

“Darx, please tell me, I’ll do anything.” Syvis offered, still being hugged awkwardly by Wendy.

Darx started to shake.

Wendy looked at Darx, her face showing the truth. “Darx. . .”

Syvis turned to Wendy, “What’s going on here? I was told Darx needed to speak with me.”

Wendy let her go. “I’m sorry Darx, it didn’t work.”

“No. . .” Darx felt the world collapsing around him.

Syvis looked at Darx, saw his face, she fell to the ground. “I’m so sorry, Darx, I’m so sorry.”

“It can’t be. . .” Darx was reeling. The anger, the despair, he thought he had moved past it, but it was back. Would he ever be free of it?

“I never meant to hurt you, Darx. Please, you have to believe me.” Syvis was on her knees, crying.

“You weren’t. . . it wasn’t him.” Darx’s voice shook as he tried desperately to hold it together, to keep the darkness at bay.

“What?” Syvis asked.

“Kase, he didn’t control you.” Darx’s voice was angry, shaky.

“What are you talking about, Darx?”

Darx’s rage focused into a single line of thought, propelled him forward. “Kase controlled Amelia, she broke his control, she went crazy.” He said. “My mother, she wouldn’t, not the way he treats her, he has to be controlling her.” The tears forming at the corner of his eyes started to run down his cheek.

“Darx, I don’t understand.” Syvis’ voice was ****.

“Why, Syvis? Why would you do that?” He yelled, angry and hurt.

“Darx. . . “

“I loved you. . . I trusted you.”

“I’m sorry Darx, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Syvis was crying.

“But you chose to!” His emotions overpowered him and he started screaming, tears running hot down his cheek. “You chose to lie to me, to distance yourself from me. You told me you loved me, then you fucked Kase behind my back!”

Darx felt like he was breaking. The walls he had built to hold in the pain, the betrayal, he had weakened them with hope that she wasn’t responsible, that she hadn’t betrayed him, that the choice had been taken from her. That somewhere inside she was still his Syvis. Darx fell to his knees, the room was spinning. He could feel the darkness reaching out to him. He had to escape, he had to get away from this. . .

. . .

Darx could feel the darkness, the two powers inside of that darkness. One that felt a lot like Zaine, and the other one, the angry, hurt one. They were fighting each other, fighting over him. He did his best to separate them, push the anger, the thirst for vengeance away, until he found some semblance of control.

Darx felt the breeze blowing against his face and looked up. He was back in his dream world.

“I’m sorry Darx.” Amelia sat in front of him, cross-legged on the grass.

“Why?” he cried, not even knowing what he was asking.

“Because you’re a sap, that’s why.” Darx felt weak, he didn’t have the strength to fight with Cal.

“Shut up, Cal, seriously.” Amelia said angrily.

“Oh come on.” Cal mocked. “He set himself up for this one. He finally puts it together that Amelia was mind-controlled, there’s reason to believe his mother is, but Syvis? That was just a **** attempt to get his fantasy life back.”

“I’m serious Cal, not another word.” Amelia threatened, defending Darx again. She was always defending him, because he was weak. Darx pushed his feelings aside, he had set himself up, he was so excited to get Syvis back that he didn't look at the situation honestly. He saw what he wanted to see, what he was **** to have be true.

“No Amelia, he’s right.” Darx hung his head. “I wanted to believe Syvis was controlled, that she didn’t betray me. Damn, I’d give anything to make that true.”

“She didn’t want to betray you Darx.” It was Syvis, the Syvis in his head, he couldn’t look at her, not now.

“And yet she did such a good job of it.” He said.

“She loved you, wanted to protect you, she didn’t want to hurt you.” Syvis responded, ****.

“I don’t know if she could have done a better job of hurting me.” Darx said, his head down, his spirit crushed. “I mean, finding her and Kase together, finding out she didn’t come to the party because she lost track of time while fucking Kase? I don’t know if Kase could have planned it any better.”

“Yet she protected you from Kase, she wouldn’t let him hurt you, you remember that.” Syvis argued.

“I know. I know. But it doesn’t make sense, how could she love me and make the choices she made?” Darx couldn’t wrap his head around it.

“Because all of it was a lie Darx. All of it, from the beginning.” Cal said, placing a hand on Darx’s shoulder.

. . .

He was back, in the room, Syvis was hanging off of him.

“I know what I did Darx. I’m so sorry. If you’ll let me explain. . .”

Darx pulled away from her, stood straight up, looked at her. He saw the desperation in her eyes, the tears running down her cheeks. He felt the heat of his rage, the sharpness of his pain, he felt it fall off of him. Darx felt cold, dead inside. But at least he was under control.

“Okay, Syvis, I’ll listen.” Darx said, his voice shaky and weak. “Explain why you didn’t tell me about you and Kase. Why you said you loved me then stood me up. I waited for you at my friends' party while you spent the evening fucking my worst enemy, my mother’s husband. Why would you do that?” His voice was ****, but not harsh. He was still hurt, still angry but the need to know why she did it had replaced the heat of his rage.

“Oh, Darx. . . “ Syvis fell to the floor, sobbing.

“I’m giving you your chance to explain, Syvis. You’ve asked twice now, so go ahead, explain.” His voice was cold, mean even.

“Darx. . . I. . . I didn’t want to, I didn’t mean to. I couldn’t. . .” She sputtered.

“You couldn’t what, Syvis?” He demanded.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.” She replied weakly.

“How does not wanting to hurt me lead to you fucking Kase while I waited for you, Syvis? I’m trying to understand, but I’m just not making the connection.” Darx was talking calmly to her, but his face showed his hurt, his anger.

“He was going to tell you, and you were already so upset.” She sobbed.

“So you fucked him, Syvis. You fucked him to keep him from telling me that you fucked him?”

She was sobbing, kneeling on the floor, her head down. She couldn’t look at him.

“In the ruins, my potion was gone. I couldn’t control it.” Syvis’ voice was weak, mixed with her sobs.

“Yes, I know.” Darx answered.

“I didn’t want to Darx. Please, believe me. I hate myself. I couldn’t resist him.” Syvis cried.

Darx went to her, lifted her face. “But why didn’t you tell me? Why would you lie?”

“Everyone was there, you found us, I. . . I couldn’t do it.” Syvis tried to look away.

“We travelled for a month Syvis. Darx continued, “You had a month to tell me on the road.”

“I know, I should have.” She replied. “I just didn’t want to hurt you. I was so happy to have you back, I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“Happy?” Darx asked, “No. You were distant, hurting, and you were lying to me. Do you think I’m stupid, Syvis? You think I didn’t know that the woman I loved was hurting? That you were hiding things from me? I knew, Syvis, and worse, I suspected it was Kase. When I awakened in the caverns, when you found your potions, I suspected it. But I chose to trust you, Syvis, I believed in you. I waited for you to tell me the truth, but you just kept lying to me.”

“I know, I don’t have any excuse Darx, I’m so sorry.”

Darx took a breath, then continued. “And then, when we arrived in Riledo. What about then?”

“Your mother, Darx.” She said, looking to him. “You were so upset. I couldn’t tell you then, it would have hurt you so much.”

Darx resisted pointing out how her lies ended, he wanted to hear her story, he needed to know her side of it.

“So Kase blackmailed you.” Darx offered.

“No, not really.” She replied, the guilt all over her face. “I just kept having to be around him and he kept pushing things. I tried to get away from him, but she needed me, Agnes needed me to work with him, for the guild.”

“Agnes?” Darx asked. How was Agnes involved in all of this?

“Yes. Kase is the future of Oblivion, Darx. She wanted me to help him, to keep him from ruining the guild.”

“She wanted you and Kase together.” Darx started piecing it together.

“No, not like that, she wouldn’t. . .”

Darx laughed.

“Of course she wanted you together.” Darx answered. “Do you think Kase would work with you if you weren’t fucking him? That he’d agree to play nice for Agnes and settle for you being just his co-worker? Agnes helped him set you up.”

“No. I was clear with her.” Syvis countered. “She knew I didn’t want that.”

“Yeah, and she’d never place the good of her guild above your wishes.” Darx replied sarcastically.

Syvis looked up at him, sad and confused.

“She knew about your potions, right?” Darx asked.

“Yes. . .”

“All she had to do was push you to be around Kase, and away from me. Let him do the rest. Damn it, it was inevitable.” Darx could see it, Agnes wanting Kase to be more responsible, seeing his lust for Syvis as a chance to reign him in. Agnes' chance to civilize the monster.

Syvis was silent.

“The lies, the real lies.” Darx said to himself, shaking his head.

“Darx. . .”

“He was right, it was all a lie.” Darx turned to her. “Everything between us, it was all founded on lies.”

Syvis moved towards Darx, still on her knees. She grabbed his legs, “Don’t say it was a lie Darx. I know what I did. I have no excuse. But I loved you. I still love you so much.”

“No.” Darx said, “You loved a lie.”

“Please, Darx, we loved each other.” Syvis cried, her voice ****.

“No, Syvis.” Darx answered. “You loved an idea of us that was never real, that could never last. The you that could control your Dark Elf libido, live like a human, love like a human.”

“I just wanted you Darx. Just you.” Syvis argued. Darx felt like she was trying hard to convince herself.

“But you couldn’t be that person.” He offered. "Could you?"

“No, not once the potions stopped working.” Syvis admitted sadly.

“The potions you used to suppress the part of you that you don’t like.” Darx stated.

“Yes.” She nodded, her voice was weak.

Darx grabbed her again. “You didn’t need to hide that from me, Syvis. I wanted all of you, no matter what that meant.”

She looked up at him, tears staining her face, “Could you have? Could you really have loved me, stayed with me while I had sex with other men? Ones in my party? Ones in Oblivion? Even if it wasn’t Kase, Darx, giving in to that side of myself, I would have hurt you.”

Darx hung his head. “I know. We were both in love with a lie.”

“Darx, I didn’t mean to betray you.” Syvis offered.

“But you chose to.”

“I. . .” her voice failed as she fell forward to her hands.

Darx felt different, like he understood, and it changed everything. Looking at her, he didn’t want ****, didn't want a second chance, he just wanted the truth. Darx wanted a path to closure. He needed to move past this.

“I don’t blame you Syvis.” Darx spoke after a few moments of silence. “I know you didn’t choose Kase over me. You chose your fantasy over reality. Just like I did.”

“What do you mean?” Syvis asked.

“Tell me why you left your home.” Darx requested, his voice calm.

“Really?” Syvis asked.

“Yes, why did you come here? Why the potions? Tell me Syvis.” Darx wanted to get to the root of the problem.

“Okay. . .” She seemed confused by his request, but she went along. She stood, moved away from him, started walking around the room.

“I was a princess, and as a princess, I was destined to marry a strong warrior and bear his children. Be an object for people to fight over, just like any of my brothers or sisters, just like my father was. Our duty as members of the Royal Family is to marry the most powerful adventurers in our land. Bring them into the family so they would be loyal to the kingdom and our family would be safe. I didn’t want that, Darx. I wanted my own life. Then I went through the ritual, I was an A-rank. As powerful as any other, and yet that didn’t change my destiny. My duty was still to marry a fellow A-rank to protect my family. My own strength was valued, but not even as much as my ability to bring in an equally strong mate. Even as I developed my skills, became one of the stronger A-ranks in our kingdom, it didn’t matter to them.”

“You ran away because you wanted your own life, one lived on your own terms. I can understand that. So what went wrong?” Darx asked.

“The potions, they stopped working as well. I had to drink more of them. Then when I didn’t have them, I lost control. I didn’t want to, but I. . . I wasn’t strong enough to resist, to be the person I wanted to be.”

She stopped, looked at him. “I’m sorry, Darx. I’m not strong enough to be that person.”

“Your physiology was stronger than your fantasy.” Darx said with a sad laugh.

“When you put it like that, it makes me sound stupid, Darx.” Syvis said, looking at the ground again.

“No, not stupid, just naïve. Just like me, Syvis. I saw you being pulled between me and your loyalty to Agnes, saw her putting you with Kase. I knew Kase, I knew his intentions and his resourcefulness, and yet I chose to make it about you. In my head I thought if you loved me enough you’d be able to withstand all his schemes, overcome your biology, none of that would matter.”

“I’m sorry Darx.” Syvis looked to him as she spoke. “I loved you. I still love you Darx. But I’m not strong enough to be that person. I wish I could, I’d give anything. . . but I can’t do it.”

“Syvis, the part that hurts me is when you realized you couldn’t live that life, when it was clear to you that your dream was dying, and you didn’t tell me. You hid it from me. Hell, you rejected me and went to Kase to fill your needs.” Darx felt the pain of betrayal, it was still there.

Syvis collapsed again, sobbing, “I’m so sorry Darx. I don’t have any excuse, I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s bullshit Syvis.” Darx wasn’t going to let her lie to herself, get off the hook that easily. “You chose a lie over me. You chose to live a double life where you could pretend you were still the same Syvis, all while fucking Kase. You didn’t want me to know you had those needs, so you filled them elsewhere. We could have tried; you could have come to me. I wanted more from you and you gave me less, preferring him to me.”

“No!” She yelled, “No, Darx, I didn’t prefer him, I wanted you, I just couldn’t. . .”

“Couldn’t what Syvis? You say you didn’t choose him over me, then why were you with him instead of me? Why was I waiting for you at the party only to find out you were fucking him?”

Darx was furious, but the darkness wasn’t there, it was different.

“I. . . I can’t explain it, Darx, I don’t know, I . . .”

Darx gave her some time. Watched her stay there, hunched over on the floor, hiding from herself, fighting against reality.

“I think I know, Syvis. I think I know why you did it.” Darx said coldly. “You held on to the last little fragments of your dream, unwilling to let go even as it crumbled around you. You hated that side of yourself so much that you couldn’t bear to have me see it. You became even more reserved, less sexual with me as you became more sexual yourself. Your needs grew, but you couldn’t share that with me. Not because you were in love with Kase, but because you couldn’t stand the idea of me seeing you like that, of me knowing that part of you.”

“Can you blame me?” She yelled, her face twisted with anger and despair. “You loved me as an equal. For my mind and my thoughts and my heart as well as my body. I couldn’t stand you finding out that it was all a lie. That I’m really just some cock-starved slut that would throw everything away to get off.”

Darx stood still, listened, they had finally gotten to the real issue.

“All my life,” Syvis continued, “Everything I’ve built, everything I’ve accomplished, it’s all gone Darx. I’m just another Dark Elf bitch good for nothing but whoring and breeding. How can I ask you to love that? How could I ask anyone I respect and care for to settle for that?”

He walked over to her, squatted next to her.

“You really see your family, your sisters like that?” He asked.

“Yes.” She answered. “They gave up everything just to be married to a strong man, just a pawn to be used to strengthen the family. Goddess, Darx. My father is an S-rank, but he married my mother because she won him in a tournament. She was the strongest woman, so she won him. He had **** but to marry her Darx."

Syvis stood up, pointed to herself, her finger jabbing into her chest. "I’m stronger than my sister’s husband, and yet her entire purpose was just to bring him in to the family. Even for an S-Rank, I won’t become just a pawn. I’m strong, I can fight. My studies, they’ve revealed so much, but none of that matters. All that matters is being a good princess, fucking the right people, making them feel important and powerful so they support our claim to the throne.”

“You don’t have to let it consume you Syvis.” Darx stated.

“What?” She asked.

“Your sex drive, Syvis, you don’t have to let it consume you and rule your life.”

“I tried Darx, and I made it this far. But the minute you showed up I was. . .” She cut herself off, she suddenly looked panicked, like she was about to say too much.

“I showed up and?” Whatever she was about to say she didn’t want to tell him, and he was past that, he was going to get the truth from her.

“Please Darx, it’s nothing.” She begged.

“It clearly is something, Syvis.” He replied. “And I’m done with you hiding things from me, I think I deserve to know the truth about us, all of it.”

“Okay. . . okay, Darx.” Syvis responded. “The truth is my potions dropped off a lot when I fell in love. When I wanted to do things, with you.”

“I broke your potions?” Darx said, surprised.

“I had gone so long, absorbed in my work, in missions and research.” She said. “There wasn’t anyone I wanted to do those things with. So while the potions slowly were losing effectiveness, it was nothing compared to after we started. . . to after we had sex.”

“Why?” Darx asked, sincerely curious.

“The potions suppress my urges, Darx.” Syvis explained. “They counteract the chemical, biological drive for sex. But with you, I wanted it. I didn’t need it, Darx, I wanted it. The potions weren’t meant to handle that. It wasn’t something I could account for.”

Darx sat down on the smooth, cold stone floor next to Syvis. “We were doomed from the start.”

Syvis laughed a sad, defeated laugh, looked up at him. “Yeah.” Suddenly her face changed, she looked serious.

“But that doesn’t excuse what I did, Darx. You are right. I chose the fantasy I built for myself over you. Kase exploited that, and I gave in. But by the end I was torn in two. I wanted that release, I wanted to be used like that, I didn’t deserve you making love to me. . .”

“Your self-loathing is a real issue Syvis.”

“What do you mean, Darx?” She asked.

“How much you hate your nature, your biology, the gift of your goddess.” Darx answered.

“A gift? How the hell is that a gift?” Syvis responded sourly.

“I don’t know.” Darx continued. “But Aena thought it was. She meant it to be a gift. You see it as a curse Syvis, and because of that, it is one. It haunts you and you hate yourself for being something you can’t help but be. You can’t be yourself because you can’t reconcile who you are and those needs.”

She sat up straighter. “You really think that can be reconciled?” she asked sarcastically. “Hi I’m Syvis, the scientist whore. Hello, my name is Syvis, mage and cock-slut.” Her voice was bitter, her disdain for her nature so strong.

“I don’t know, but your family has done it, your people have done it. It isn’t just you, Syvis.” Darx pointed out. “Everyone in your land has that drive, and yet the Dark Elves are equal to the other races, and in some areas, superior. It can’t be the curse you think it is if your people have made it this far.”

Syvis sat for a moment, just thinking.

Darx looked at her, he genuinely felt sorry for her. “Syvis, your family will be here in a week. You should talk to them, share your feelings, let them help you.”

“I know what they want from me. I know what they care about.” She spoke with such bitterness.

“They are still your family.” Darx countered. “You should tell them. You might be surprised.”

Syvis scoffed, then looked up at him. “Why do you even care, Darx? After all I’ve done to you. Why do you even care?”

“I’m not going to answer that Syvis.”

She nodded. She understood. They both still cared for each other, but the relationship was broken. Darx couldn’t let himself trust her with his heart again.

“Then there’s nothing left here, nothing for us.” Syvis lamented.