And though admittedly all these moments are just in my head, I'll be thinking 'bout them as I'm lying in bed

“Is it… did I do a good job?” Ella asked timidly. She sat across from Nick and picked nervously at his food, too anxious to eat until she got an answer. And when Ella didn’t eat, that wasn’t a good sign at all.

It didn’t help the pressure on Nick’s shoulders that she’d asked him that practically the second he sat down, before he even had a chance to try the meal. He looked at the ground food nearly splattered across his plate, and hoped that it would taste nice.

I know it looks like a burrito exploded, but it should taste pretty good, right? Nick hoped. He could feel the weight of Ella’s stare bearing down on him, and knew that whatever response he gave would go a long way with the poor girl. Ella was no doubt recalling some very unpleasant memories from her youth. He could easily imagine the anxiety of whether or not her stepfamily liked the food she made tearing her up inside.

Even if it tasted bad, Nick had to give her a positive response, right? But then he’d just be lying to her. Patronizing her. And if he couldn’t do it well, he might hurt her even more than if he was just honest with her.

It sucked, having this kind of pressure on him. Nick was the kind of guy who folded like a napkin when it came to trying to make a girl happy, and right now, he wanted nothing more than to assuage all of Ella’s fears and concerns.

But Ella wanted him to be honest. So he pushed his doubts aside and dug his fork into the meat mush, and scooped some into his mouth.

His eyes bulged.

“Uwum! Ah!” His mouth was on fire! His hand instinctively shot towards his glass of water, but he stopped himself. Water only made the pain from spice taste worst!

…He knew that. He really did. And yet as the inside of his mouth exploded like a military bombardment, his hand kept moving, and the next thing he knew he was taking a sip from his glass anyway. And boy, did that really not help. It didn’t hurt as badly as he’d been building up in his head that it would, but if he imagined the water washing away all the stinging pain on his tongue, that was definitely not what happened.

“Haah… haah…” Nick’s mouth flopped open and he flapped his hand, trying to fan as much cool air onto his tongue as he could. As the sweat rolled down his face and his eyes stung, he tried to hold on to his sanity.

And then everything was fine. The spice came in fast and smacked him in the face, but a second later and it was gone, like nothing had ever happened. Only a brief tingle on his tongue served to remind him of the experience.

As Nick returned to the world of the living, he realized that he’d been so overwhelmed by the heat of the dish that he’d completely forgotten about Ella and her trauma. As his glassy eyes refocused and he looked up at the latina, he braced himself for the worst.

No doubt he’d upset her with that reaction.

…But… Ella didn’t seem upset. If anything, she looked worried for him, rather than wounded by his reaction to her cooking.

“Are you okay?” She bit her lip nervously.

“I… I’m fine now,” Nick croaked out. He couldn’t even pretend like what had happened was okay. “That was… wow.” He couldn’t even say if it tasted good or not. The kick of the spice had completely overwhelmed whatever flavor the dish might have had. Maybe if he had another bite it would smooth out, but… he wasn’t that crazy.

Ella winced. “…It was too spicy, wasn’t it?”

It took every ounce of strength Nick still had in him to refrain from making a sarcastic comment. “…It was kind of spicy, yeah,” he managed to **** out with a nod.

Ella’s wince turned into a full-out frown. “I’m sorry,” she sighed, looking down at her own plate. “It’s carne asada… I always wanted to give it a try, but my stepmother… she said she didn’t want any foreign cooking in her house, so…”

Her expression turned fiercer as Nick saw a flash of anger in her eyes. “But ‘carne asada’ just means grilled beef! It’s basically just a steak! But it’s ‘foreign’ because it’s in Spanish!? That’s so dumb!”

Realizing that she’d lost her temper a little there, Ella jumped in her seat and let out a little gasp. “O-oh, I-I’m sorry, you probably don’t even care about that… look at me… getting all upset, when… when I burned your mouth… I’m so sorry…”

She looked ready to cry and no way was Nick letting that happen. He’d dodged so many pitfalls and defused so many bombs on this date already he wasn’t about to let a simple thing like a spicy dinner get the better of him.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Nick assured her with a smile, relieved that he still could smile without feeling like his mouth was going to explode. And still talk, for that matter. “It’s not your fault that I wasn’t prepared for spicy food, Ella. Don’t worry about it.”

Ella let out a faint sigh of relief. “O-oh… so you’re not… upset?”

Nick shook his head. “It was a big surprise, no doubt there. Mary doesn’t cook a lot of spicy dishes for me. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it. I just need a second to adjust to the heat, that’s all.” Still, that was one of the spiciest things Nick could remember eating. He didn’t want to know what Ella had actually put in there.

“So… did you like it, then?” Ella asked hopefully. Sure the dish was spicier than she’d intended and it had obviously stung, but the flavor was still good, right?

Nick froze at the hopeful gleam in her eyes. Suddenly his flop returned and he realized that if he wanted to end this night on a high note, he might have to eat more.

“It… it was a little intense… I barely registered the flavor,” he admitted, his eyes drifting down warily to the ground meat on his plate. His eyes were stinging again and his stomach was doing flip-flops. Most of Nick’s survival instincts were telling him not to let that stuff anywhere near his mouth again.

The rest of his survival instincts were telling him that upsetting Ella might lead to him getting stabbed in his sleep.

Ella staring expectantly at him, like she was waiting for him to take another bite? That definitely wasn’t helping either.

The one time she wasn’t eagerly stuffing food into her mouth without paying attention to her surroundings and it had to be now.

Nick summoned his courage and took another bite. The familiar burning sensation flared up again, and even though he was prepared for it this time, that didn’t make things better. In fact, his instincts nearly made him spit the food out the second it touched his tongue. But he held firm and **** it down, locking his jaw tight as he sucked the spices off the meat in an effort to discern the flavor underneath.

That’s how it worked, right?

When he finally managed to swallow, he sagged in his chair, and the burning air escaped his open mouth with a long sigh.

“Okay, that… now that I got the chance to taste the flavor… it was really good,” he assured her. “And I’m not just saying that, either! It really did taste good!”

Ella eyed him suspiciously. “…Really?” She asked, furrowing her brow with doubt. Judging by his reaction, she was pretty sure he was just trying to make her feel better.

“Yes, really!” Nick said, nodding firmly. “Now, was it incredibly hot? Yeah. That part I didn’t like so much. Next time, I’d prefer if you went easy on the peppers. Or the spices. Or whatever it is that gives it that kick. At least half as much. Other than that, though, the flavor itself, it was amazing Ella. You’re a really good cook.”

A dangerous cook, definitely. But underneath the absolute hell his scalding tastebuds were going through, the food itself wasn’t so bad.

Relief washed over Ella like a tidal wave and she sank into her seat, like a massive weight had been taken off of her shoulders. “I’m glad… I was afraid… I’ve never cooked this dish before, so I maybe used a little more spice than I should have…”

She’d been hoping that the heat from the spice would conceal any issues with her cooking. But the exact opposite had occurred, much to her embarrassment.

Nick just regarded her with a gentle smile that made her heart skip a beat.

“Well, you did a good job,” he said, though he couldn’t say if he was going to have another bite of it or not yet.

Hearing that was enough for Ella to sample the dish herself.

“Uweegh!” She nearly spit it into her napkin. Her fingers scrambled at her throat as her eyes bulged in her skull, and it looked like she was **** as whatever hadn’t been immediately evacuated from her mouth crawled its way down her esophagus, leaving a trail of burning destruction in its wake.

When the shaking stopped and Ella finally managed to let out a gasp, her face was covered in tears and sweat and a little bit of snot, too. She frantically wiped herself off and looked at Nick with an expression of pure embarrassment on her face.

“That… that huuurrt!” She wailed painfully.

Nick didn’t know how to respond to that. He’d assumed that Ella had chosen a dish with that much spice because she liked spicy food, but evidently she wasn’t handling it any better than he had.

“Ella, are you okay?!” He asked worriedly, knowing what she was going through right now, the poor girl.

Ella whimpered and shook her head. “It… it was WAY too spicy… I must have got the measurements wrong…”

She sniffled and blew her nose into another napkin, then glanced sheepishly at Nick. She must have looked just awful after that!

…But he didn’t seem to care. All she saw in his eyes was worry and concern. Not disgust. Her aching heart was a distant memory, and a faint smile touched her lips.

“…I think we should have dessert early,” Ella said, standing up. She was glad her legs still worked.

Nick couldn’t argue with that. A second later, Ella returned from the kitchen with a surprise he hadn’t expected.

“Pie?” He asked, leaning forward, intrigued.

“It’s a key lime pie,” Ella said, nodding. She had a sheepish expression on her face. “Mary helped me with it, actually. She said that it went well with, um, spicy food. And since you’re a wimp, you would need something to chase the spiciness down with…”

“Mary said that?” Nick asked suspiciously.

Ella bit her lip as she set down the pie. “Well… I added the wimp part,” she admitted.

For such a sweet girl, Ella had an edge to her. And Nick didn’t just mean Cinder, either.

Ella cut out a piece of pie and served it to him, and then took a piece for herself. Nick didn’t miss the fact that her uneven cuts gave her a piece nearly twice the size of his, but he didn’t say anything about it either.

He was just glad to have something cold and soothing in his mouth! As he scooped a bit of the pie onto his tongue, his eyes bulged in surprise. All the lingering pain from the spicy meal was completely smothered by the sweet, tangy taste of the pie, and before he knew it the whole slice had disappeared into his mouth.

“Oh my gosh!” He gasped, looking across the table at Ella, who was having the same reaction as him. “This is amazing! It tastes great, and like, all the pain, it’s completely gone!”

“Yeah, it… it is,” Ella said, nodding. Curious, she used one fork to take another bite of the carne asada, and another fork to follow it up with a chunk of pie.

The amazed look on her face told Nick everything he needed to know. Like pouring sand on a fire, whatever painful feelings Ella’s mouth was going through as a result of those spices, it was like they were completely washed away with one bite of the sweet, chilling pie. He couldn’t begin to explain how that worked, probably something weird and scientific, but what he did know was that they’d found a remedy to their problem.

It was definitely one of the stranger dinners Nick had ever had. Between the savory spice of the ground steak and the sweet kiss of the key lime pie, the flavors going on in Nick’s mouth seemed to be all over the place.

But somehow the two of them made it out the other end with minimal torment. And the best part was that Ella had been so focused on suppressing the pain that she hadn’t even thought about stuffing her face to bursting.

It was just one day of Ella not puking all over the place from gorging herself. But in Nick’s mind, that one day was a victory in its own right.

But the date wasn’t over yet. They’d made it through dinner, and by the end, they were even laughing at their own misfortune. But they still had to turn in for the night.

Last time it was Cinder who had closed out the date night with Nick. And for obvious reasons, Nick had been **** to regard her with caution.

But even in the face of the daunting pain from the carne asada, Ella had remained in control of her body. And now she was facing Nick down, while her eyes continued to flicker over to the bed.

Nick’s heart pounded in his chest as the weight of the situation hovered in the air like a looming fog. He could feel the pressured stare in Ella’s eyes and knew that she had to be thinking several things he was probably thinking himself. He could feel the doubt and uncertainty rolling off of her in waves, and found himself wondering what the next step here even was.

They’d kissed. And with how Ella had built it up to him, that kiss had practically been foreplay if not outright sex as far as she was concerned.

So what now?

We aren’t going to go any further than that, right? This is a girl who thinks that the third date is when you’re supposed to share your first kiss. Nick’s heart pounded with uncertainty as he felt the heat in Ella’s eyes.

Then he felt her hand wrap around his. To Nick’s surprise, she had actually taken the first move. His eyes widened and he gazed at her nervous, delicate features, finding himself lost in the glittering pools of amber that were staring back at him.

She loudly sucked in air and tightened her grip on his hand.

“I…” Ella croaked out, chewing on her lip. “I want… I…”

What did she want from this? She wasn’t even sure herself. Her mouth wasn’t working properly but as she looked warily at Nick she found herself realizing that she wanted so, so much more. She wanted to kiss him again. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted…

She wanted…

“I want… to go to bed,” she finally managed to **** out, pushing any other thoughts aside right now. “I’m really tired…”

Ella wasn’t sure what reaction she expected to get from Nick. Disappointment? Relief? Which would feel worse? But instead, she just saw a nod of acceptance from him, like he understood. Even though he couldn’t possibly understand her feelings!

The fact of the matter was that right now, Ella’s heart was going through some turmoil. Even though part of her wanted to go farther with him, she knew it was too soon for that. Way too soon. Cinder would never allow it, and even if she did…

Was Ella even ready for… that kind of stuff?

The kiss… it had been lovely. But as Ella found herself lying next to Nick in bed, playing over the sequence of events that had led to this moment in her head, she knew that was as far as she could have gone.

She’d never had sex before, obviously. But she knew a little. More importantly, she knew enough to know that she would probably be bad at it.

Today had gone so well. It was the most amazing date she ever could have hoped for.

She was too scared of ruining that perfect date by being a disappointment to him.

I can’t even think about having sex with him without feeling like I’m going to die of embarrassment, Ella bitterly rebuked herself. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Nick… he would be so NICE to me. He’d be sweet! Even though I’m disappointing him!

That was the worst part.

Ella knew that Nick would understand. He would be gentle and caring with her. He would help her get accustomed to everything, and if she was… bad… he would understand that, too. And he wouldn’t even care!

He would just be happy to be with her.

That should have come as a relief to her. It should have made her feel better about herself, to know that there was nothing wrong, that she could trust Nick completely when it came to something intimate like sex.

But Ella didn’t feel relieved.

She just felt even more nervous.

Ella turned over in bed and looked at Nick’s broad back. She could hardly make it out in the darkness. But… it seemed so reassuring. The fact that he was sleeping on his side like that, facing away from her, so she would feel just a little bit more comfortable…

Could anyone be so sweet?

It just wasn’t fair!

Ella should be able to reward him for that somehow. That’s what someone else in Nick’s harem would have done. Someone who was comfortable with those sex things, who could be with him in a way that she just wasn’t ready for.

Ella hated being treated like she was made out of glass. So the fact that Nick was being so considerate of her… shouldn’t that have upset her? Shouldn’t she have insisted that he not give her any special treatment, and treat her the way he would have treated any other girl he was on a date with?

The fact that she hadn’t done that but had meekly accepted the fact that nothing was going to happen tonight made her feel sick to her stomach.

“Hey…” she whispered, not even realizing she was doing it at first until she was poking him in the back. “Hey, Nick…”

“Ella? What is it?” Nick turned over in bed and suddenly he was facing her!

Ella jerked back a little, not expecting his face to be so close to hers. But just slightly. Then she leaned forward again, squirming under the covers. She could feel the heat from his body mixing with the heat of her own, and she clenched her legs together tightly to suppress the strange feeling going through her right now.

“I… I want… I want a good night kiss,” she mumbled, feeling dreadfully ashamed for her unscrupulous request. But if she couldn’t please him in that way… wasn’t a kiss an acceptable substitute? “Would that… be alright?”

Nick was surprised by her request, but he had no issue with it. “Of course,” he agreed, leaning forward. “Whatever you want.”

And he gave her lips a gentle kiss that made her see stars.