How to slay a spider

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! LET ME DOWN! I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!”

The leader of a burglary gang cried and struggled in a web cocoon from a 15 floor high wealthy apartment building his gang tried to break into. The rest of his gang were currently passed out from the beating they received from the web-slinger.

“Man, views like this really take your breath away and make you think about your life choices. Right Timmy?” Spider-Man asked perched on the flagpole Jimmy was swinging from.

“WHATEVER YOU SAY MAN! PLEEEAASSEE, LET ME DOWN FROM HERE!”

Peter ignored his cries for another five minutes, until an alarm went off in his mask. It was his reminder for dinner with the girls back at their apartment.

“Welp, I’d love to chat some more, but I got plans tonight. Maybe I’ll see you when you and your pals go on parole? Next time I’ll take you to the top of the Chrysler building!”

By the time Spidey finished his sentence, Timmy was passed out from fear.

“Well this is awkward.”

—————

Peter watched from above as the gang was taken away in a police van.

“Okay, I think I’ll call it a night and head home. Don’t wanna miss the surprise guests coming over—

Peter felt the pulse of his Spider-sense go off and a signal appeared on his mask computer.

“The Spider-Tracer! The on Felicia put on Miss Graves from the docks. She’s a few blocks down in Midtown…of course it had to happen right now.”

Pete rumbled through his thoughts for a moment, and the desire to end Luther’s plot won the dual in his mind. The girls would forgive him for being late.

Peter swung towards the tracer signal and arrived close by after a few minutes. The signal was coming out of a cheap hotel ten floors hogh. Peter crawled up its wall and peaked into the slightly open window of the room the tracer was in.

‘This feels easy…way to easy’

Slowly, Spider-Man opened the window. He crawled into the apartment. It was dark, but Peter dared not turn on a light in case there was someone still here. The lenses on his mask did have night vision setting, so he made the proper adjustment and slowly scanned the room. The room had a queen sized bed, two nightstands, two seat sofa facing a flat screen TV and one desk with chair. Laying bedside was a set of clothes Pete recognized from the night at the docks. The tracer was attached at back end of the top, Peter retrieved it.

‘She didn’t notice it, well done Cat.’

Peter stilled moved with caution as he searched the apartment for more evidence. His eyes turned instantly toward the desk. A series of files and papers were laid out. Peter’s mask had a silent night camera function, and he took a photo of everything.

‘Jackpot Pete! A list of all the Oscorp board members, evidence of corrupt dealings, skimming from the books, taking bribes, enough to **** everyone into handing over control of the company to Luthor. Captain Watanabe is gonna love —

The last folder Peter opened stopped him dead in his thoughts. It contain details of a from a private plane from the UK arriving to JFK airport along with its estimated time of arrival. Peter remembered what Oracle had told him earlier and then he saw the photos of a man in the folder. Peter’s face went pale under the mask. A chilling echo left his throat unintentionally.

“Harry.”

Peter’s Spider-sense alerted him to a sound coming from the nearby room. The sound of running water from a sink. Miss Graves had been in the bathroom the whole time Peter was snooping about. He clenched his fists and moved aggressively towards the bathroom door.

‘Ok…time to get some answers.’

Blinded by anger, Peter threw caution out the window as he grew open the door, his senses did not trigger in time to save him from the metal hand that grabbed his face, and slammed him hard into the door frame. Another hand swung a fist to his groin, and four more grabbing his arms and throwing him towards the bed. His body hit the head board and the hit took the air from his lungs.

Before he could move, Spidey found himself pinned down by the tall, six armed android with human appendage's. It had two red glowing eyes sticking out its forehead, and a blank screen for a face…that is until the screen turned on and a bald looking man appeared on it.

“Hello Spider-Man. It’s an honor to make your acquaintance. This is Lex Luthor speaking.”

“You’ll forgive me…if I didn’t…recognize you… I have a history with dumb, bald, criminal despots.” Peter quipped in the struggle.

“Ah yes, your famous sense of humor. I’ve been learning allot about you recently. Quite fascinating.” Luthor smirked.

“Give me your address…I’ll come over and tell you all about myself.”

“A pity this android is the last thing you’ll ever meet. Curtesy of your old adversary, Smythe.”

The name was very familiar to Peter. The Smythe family are the creators of the Spider-Slayers. Robots programmed to fight and kill Spider-Man. Peter kept struggling with the slayer, his eyes saw an outlet on the wall and sprinklers on the ceiling. An escape plan crossed his mind.

“What do you want with Harry Osborn! Why are you going after Oscorp!” Spider-Man asked defiantly.

“If you think this is the part where I tell you my evil plan, you’re as stupid as I thought you were. Instead I’m gonna watch you die and get one superhero off my back.”

“Well baldy, I hope you kept the receipt.” Spidey winked.

“What???”

Spidey shot an electric web-line to a far end electrical socket and caused it to burst. The smoke eventually triggered the apartments sprinklers to go off and cause the slayer to spark and short circuit. Peter was able to slip out of the bed and jump out the nearby window and retreat to the next rooftop.

‘Smythe calls himself a robotics genius yet he didn’t think to make his Slayers water proof?’

Before Peter could truly pat himself on the back, the Spider-Slayer crawled out of the now smoking apartment, it’s red eyes were Locked on to Spider-Man and it pounced like a tiger, Peter’s senses helping him out to avoid the attack.

“Okay Sparky, let’s play.”

The Slayer moved first, its arms telescoped out to grab Spider-Man and once again, Peter dodged it.

‘“Hey! Doc Ock called, he’s suing you for gimmick infringement.”

Peter fired a web-line, but the Slayer responded with a laser that burned the webbing mid flight. Peter did this three more times before he realized he could not web the Slayer. The slayer’s strikes were relentless, a Peter found himself jumping from rooftop to rooftop to keep his distance.

‘Ok Parker, if anyone asks, you’re totally not running away from the scary robot like a coward. What does Cap call it? A strategic withdrawal.’ Peter thought.

And with that thought, Peter started swinging through the city to ‘strategically withdrawal’ away from the Slayer, who pursued Spidey all through Manhattan with giant leaps across rooftops. Peter dared look back at his pursuer, and received a laser to the face, cutting his mask and blinding one eye.

“Fuck! This thing won’t stop. I need to fry this tin can… wait, the penthouse swimming pools!”

Peter started to swing toward the wealthy residential towers, aware that innocent lives could be at risk of being in the Slayers path, but also knowing that the Slayer was getting closer to him with every leap, Peter webbed up to the nearest penthouse, it had a filled pool and no one was in it. Peter stood at its edge and waited.

On cue, the Slayer leaped again at him, and with one final close dodge, the Slayer took a dive into the pool and the Slayer fried like a toaster in a bathtub. Peter, clutching at his wounds, felt relieved the chase was over.

“You’ve been terminated!… okay Parker, even you have to admit, that quip was bad.”

Suddenly, and to Peter’s shock, a group of familiar female voices were heard from right behind him. They had run outside having heard pool splash and seen the smoke.

Peter turned around, and Gwen, MJ, and Felicia, stood there in equal surprise. They looked at their shared lover and the Slayer now smoking in their homes swimming pool.

Before Peter could explain, one final surprise hit him, when two more girls joined in on the commotion. Betty Brant and Liz Allan came out and were stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Spider-Man and the familiar face under the partially torn mask…

“Peter?!?!”