Surviving

Darx opened his eyes. His vision was cloudy, the light in the room hurt. It took time to adjust. Once he could see, he looked to his right, and saw the window with the view of Riledo. He was in the same room as before.

Darx turned the other way and saw someone with long blonde hair hunched over, asleep in a chair next to him.

“You’re awake.” A voice said from across the room. He looked up, past the sleeping form. It was a young woman in Knight’s Hospitaler garb. “Neku,” she said sternly and loud. “He has awakened.”

The blonde shook awake in the chair. Through sleepy eyes she looked at him. “Oh thank Imris. We nearly lost you.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“What?” he was able to croak out, but it hurt. His whole body hurt, and his throat and mouth were too dry to speak.

“Here.” Said the Hospitaler, holding a glass over his mouth. Darx opened his mouth, and she poured some water into it. He coughed, like he had forgotten how to drink.

“That’s okay, try again.” She said, “just hold it in your mouth.”

He did as he was told, took a small amount of water into his mouth, held it there until he felt he could swallow it.

“Should I fetch his mother?” the Hospitaler asked.

“What do you say Darx, do you want to see your mother?”

The question caused Darx's head to throb.

Mother

Mother

Mother

The word reverberated in his mind as his vision blurred. Darx fell through the bed, back into the gray abyss. . .

. . .

“I’m so sorry Darx, we’re all so sorry, we never meant to hurt you.” It was Syvis, holding Darx, crying.

“Oh save the sob story, bitch.” Darx's dark form was pacing angrily.

“Why am I back here?” Darx asked. “I was just in the hospital room; I don’t think I’m in danger anymore.”

“If you came back here, it’s for a reason Darx.” Amelia stepped up and felt of his face. “Maybe you still need our help.”

“What he needs is to face reality.” Dark Darx’s voice was laced with disdain.

“Reality is that no matter how much this hurts, you will live through it, and we’ll be here waiting for you.” Syvis was stroking his face.

“What, so you can pretend everything is fine again until the next time you catch Syvis or Amelia or your mom fucking Kase again?” As his dark form spat the words the world around Darx twisted and changed, Oblivion’s guild hall, the stairs, the door. . .

“NO!” Darx cried, “I won’t go there. Not there.”

“Yes,” Syvis tried to hug him, “that’s the key, we can get away from this and move on. Start a new life like Oliver and Emma did. You could take me away, take your mom, Amelia, we could all leave, it could be like it was again.”

Darx didn’t want to hear that. He couldn’t handle thinking about Syvis, Amelia, or his mom. Besides, Kase would never let them go. There was no escape, no starting over, there was just pain.

“I can’t do this, it’s too much.” Darx hung his head, just wanting to rest, to not feel. He tried to shut everything out.

“You can’t change what’s done, you have to move forward.” It was the mysterious voice again.

“But how?”

“Open your eyes Darx. You’ve lived your life ignoring what you didn’t want to see, but that didn’t stop it. Open your eyes, see what is happening. For their sake, for your sake Darx, Open your eyes.”

He looked up, but it was so bright, he flinched, shielded his eyes, until the light was gone.

. . .

“He’s awake again.”

“Quick, get his mother before she leaves.”

Darx opened his eyes in time to see the Hospitaler run out of the room.

“Mother,” Darx said out loud, it was weird, there was less feeling, good or bad, attached to the thought of his mother than he could ever remember.

He looked to his left, a beautiful girl, Darx recognized her face.

“Neku.” He said. She sat down next to him and smiled.

“Welcome back Darx.”

“What happened?” He asked, the last he could remember he was inside Oblivion’s guild hall, then darkness, then the weird dreams. . .

“There was an explosion of dark energy, you collapsed, Syvis brought you here and you’ve been here since.

“How long?”

“You’ve been here three days.”

His memory started to come back to him, he grabbed at his chest, there was nothing but a hospital gown.

“Sunshine!” he blurted out.

Neku put her hand over his mouth.

“Shhh,” she whispered. “When you came in the Amulet was on you but the fairy wasn’t in it. Stella has connections here so we were able to sneak it out before it was discovered. It could have been bad, Darx. The church is currently looking for the fairy, but they haven’t found her yet.”

The door flung open.

“Darx! Oh Darx, are you okay?” It was his mother, she looked stressed and tired.

“I’m alright, mother.” His feelings in this moment were strange. The rage in his anger towards her was gone, but so was a lot of the love he had for her. He looked at her differently, saw the signs of her age, the weariness in her eyes, she looked like she hadn't slept for days.

Neku got up and stood by the door, letting Ilene take the chair next to Darx's bed, she held her son's hand and cried.

“I’m so sorry Darx, after our fight and then the attack, I can’t imagine what you are going through, I’m so sorry.” Ilene, his mother, had always been so strong, and here she was falling apart. She kept saying “I’m sorry” through the weeping.

“Do you know what happened, mother?” Darx asked.

“Everyone knows Darx, you were attacked.”

“What?” He stammered.

“Dark energy, they think a demon tried to **** you. Do you remember anything? Did you see your attacker?” His mother’s face was worried, but also curious.

“Did Kase tell you anything?” Darx asked.

“Why would Kase know anything, Darx?” His mother replied, confused.

Darx felt cold, he knew what he saw, he knew what happened that night, he wasn’t attacked by demons, and Kase had to know that too. Something was going on, he looked to Neku. She seemed to pick up on his confusion.

“Ilene, your son has had a serious trauma, demonic energy can affect a lot more than just a body, perhaps we should avoid talking about that night.” Neku said in her usual serious tone.

“Yes, of course.” His mother replied. She kissed his hand. He looked at his mother, the worry and sadness in her eyes. He felt tears start to form in his own eyes. He wanted to reassure her, wanted to hug his mother, be the family they had been for so long. . . but he couldn’t. Not now, not with Kase involved. But he couldn't abandon her either.

“I love you mother.” He said, it came out colder than he intended. Ilene pulled her hand away from his.

“I’m sorry Darx.” Was all she could say.

“I know.” He closed his eyes. Darx couldn’t deal with his own feelings, so he pushed them aside and tried to just be there, not feel anything.

“Ilene, I think it would be best for you to leave, your son isn't in good shape, he needs to rest.”

“I could take him home, we could have the doctor come to the mansion.” Darx’s jaw clinched as she said the word.

“Ma’am, he shouldn’t be moved.” Neku interjected.

“Oh no, of course not, I’m so sorry, I just. . .” he opened his eyes, met hers, he knew her face, he knew her thoughts, he had lived with her for so long. She was **** to fix their relationship. Darx felt similar.

“Darx, you are always welcome in our home.”

Darx went cold, the darkness, the hurt all coming back.

“You mean Kase’s home.” He said dryly.

“Yes, Darx, he’s my. . .”

Darx cut her off. “I know who he is mother, do you know who he is? Do you?” He was shouting. Neku grabbed a hold of him, stopped him from standing.

“Get her out of here.” Neku yelled.

He heard sounds of shuffling feet, crying.

Darx hung his head as it began to throb in pain. He didn’t want to hurt his mother, but she was inseparable from Kase, she defended and submitted to that monster. She loved him while he fucked Syvis, while he made a mockery of her just to hurt her son. He couldn’t believe it, his mother wasn’t a fool, she wasn’t naïve or oblivious. She had to know, but if she did there’s no way she’d be with him.

“Fuck.” Darx said, he’d missed a chance to tell her, make her face him and deal with Kase and Syvis, Face what Kase was doing, see the truth, that her relationship was just another part of Kase’s vendetta against him. The pain shot through his head. He could feel the darkness.

Neku guided him back down to the bed, laid his head on the pillow.

“You need to rest Darx, try to think good thoughts." Neku was stroking his hair, talking so gently to him. "We’re getting residual spikes of demonic energy from you. Try not to think about things that upset you, that can feed the darkness.” Her voice started to distort, he looked at her, her face growing distant, the grey void of the abyss pulling him back under.

. . .

Darx was holding something, a beer. He looked around, they were in Oliver’s inn, sitting around a table.

“She didn’t mean to hurt you.” Amelia said. “I didn’t mean. . .”

“Your mother loves you Darx.” It was Syvis.

“I know. Deep down I know she loves me, and yet. . .”

“And yet she’s fucking Kase, while he’s fucking Syvis. Do you think she knows? Do you think they’ve?” Cal was making a lewd gesture with his hands.

Syvis cut Cal off. “Losing them, pushing them away, that’s how Kase truly wins. By getting you to abandon the people that love you.”

“The people that betray you Darx.” It was his dark self.

“How do I love them, how do I care about them when they choose him?” Darx asked. He loved his mother, he wanted her to be happy. And while it shamed him to admit it, he still cared for Syvis, too. If Darx could he’d take them away, get away from Kase, live the way things were. He remembered when he left for the ruins, telling his mother about his girlfriend, promising to introduce them.

“And now they’ve met.” Cal’s voice was full of disdain.

His memory flashed back, just over a week ago, in the Midnight Dawn bar, when he asked Syvis how she knew about Kase and his mom. The tension in her response, feeling she was lying. No, not just feeling, he knew she was lying to him.

“She didn’t want to Darx.”

The voice broke him from his thoughts. “What?”

“Look again, she didn’t want to lie to you.” Syvis telling him that Syvis didn’t want to lie to him. . . it was a bit much. But she was right, the reason he chose to trust her was he could feel she didn’t want to hurt him, she didn’t want to lie to him.

“Then why not just tell me the truth? Why make it worse?” Darx cried.

“Because that’s what you wanted. You didn’t want to know so she didn’t tell you, because you are weak and couldn’t handle it.” Cal whispered maliciously into his ear.

“Get out of here, Cal.” Amelia’s voice was strong and harsh, “You’ve done your part, he knows his failings.”

“Does he though?” Cal stood, he was animated, emboldened. “Does he really know? You want him to believe that things can be happy, but he had that. He just sat back and let it fall apart. He knew it was all lies and ignored it, because he liked the lies better than the truth.”

“I liked it?” Darx stood, yelling. “It killed me knowing she was hiding things from me. It hurt like hell, but I trusted her, I chose to believe in her.”

“Not those lies Darx, before that, the real lies.”