What has Tammy brought with her?

A big bag of annotations

Sometimes authors will interrupt their story to explain various things in their lives, or make comments about the Multiplier. This is what I’m doing instead.

If you’ve read through my chapters, you might be interested to know where the details come from, or why I wrote certain things the way I did. This document covers my first eleven chapters (DFang wrote chapters 1 – 11, so these are chapters 12 – 22). If you just want to get back to the story, be patient, there’s more coming soon.

I’m not explaining everything here, because you have access to Wikipedia (e.g., I’m sure you can figure out why one of the chapters is called “who am I to disagree”, or why more than one achievement has “Banjos” in the name, or why an attribute is named after Charles Atlas). But here goes, in order of appearance:

Rectangular anxiety generator

I’m not positive, but I think this nickname for smartphones is from the webcomic Wondermark. It’s an allusion to doomscrolling.

Feels guilty about having been promoted over you

My original note for this was “Knows exactly why she was promoted over you” – implying that it was just nepotism. But then I reread the original DFang text, and he had emphasized that Penelope was an excellent, hardworking analyst who was very outgoing.

BZZZZZZZZZT goes the door buzzer.

Sonia knows the building’s door code.

Lisa Simpson piloting a mecha

not actually a reference, but wouldn’t that look cool?

I’m sorry, this is really stupid of me, but… your hair and your clothes.

The reason Penelope disliked Jacob so much had to be something understandable, but also easy to discard once she actually thought about it.

Most people don’t realize we’re related because I use my dad’s last name.

DFang established that Penelope and her mom Helen don’t have the same last name. I wanted Penelope to be a sympathetic character, so I made the divorce the fault of her ex-husband. Conveniently, this also provided a reason why Penelope disliked Jacob: he reminded her of her ex in some extremely specific way.

But then why would she still be using her ex’s last name? Well, DFang also established that Penelope’s brother Jerry had the same last name as their mom, so I decided that Helen kept her own name when she got married, and she and her late husband chose to give sons their mother’s last name and daughters their father’s last name. If Penelope had a sister (she doesn’t), she’d be a Jones too.

Tammy stiffens. “I’m going to shower,” she mutters, and heads for the bathroom.

In DFang’s original text, which went up to about 11pm the night before this scene, Tammy took a bath. Arguably, she doesn’t need to take a shower this morning, but she’s all flustered and not thinking straight, and it’s an excuse to walk out of the kitchen and leave Jacob alone to talk to that goddamn Penelope bitch. By the time Tammy was naked and about to step into the shower, she remembered that, oh yes, she took a bath last night, but she was achingly horny and needed to cum really bad.

if you leaned forward, you could kiss her on the mouth

After I wrote Jacob and Molly’s heads being so close that they could kiss, I went back and checked their heights, and Jacob is nine inches taller than her.

a sudden loud CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK from the washing machine as it shifts into the spin cycle.

There’s a technique for getting past writer’s block, where you just write disconnected scene fragments as they come to you, and then knit them together afterward and rewrite it so that it’s smooth. The problem is that sometimes you end up with scenes that you really really like, but that are mutually exclusive. My original fragmentary version of this had them being interrupted by Molly – but when I put everything together, I realized that Molly had just gone into the bathroom and wouldn’t be out for several minutes (she needs to pee, brush her teeth, shower, and masturbate).

To be absolutely honest, the washing machine should’ve shifted into the spin cycle a lot earlier. Shh! No one will notice!

Arlene, who you dated for ten confusing weeks.

Originally I called her “Eileen”, but I decided that was too close to “Eleanor”. Also, I wanted to emphasize that Jacob had at least some experience with girls.

the nearest stop for the 78 bus.

Near where I used to live, a major bus line was the 78, but then the transit authority did some reorganizing and the 78 is gone now. I didn’t actually ride it all that often, because it wasn’t that near to where I lived, and then I moved away, but on the last day of service I went back there and rode it one last time. The buses still exist, the streets still exist, the drivers still exist… only the pattern, the idea of there being a 78 bus, is gone. But I remember it. And now, so do you. (To the best of my knowledge, none of the drivers on the real 78 were cute milfs with wild fantasies.)

and a shaved head.

A few years back, I had to file a police report. When I went to the station, the cop on desk duty was a very pretty girl with a shaved head. That’s where Sigrid comes from.

“No driver’s license?” “I mean, I have one,

Jacob doesn’t have a car, but he knows how to drive, and he keeps the license because it’s really useful.

Past the lobby, there are two staircases. The one on the right is clearly blocked by debris, so you take the left one.

This is based on a building where I used to live. There wasn’t debris blocking the right stairs, but my apartment was on the left, so I would always take the left stairs.

“The ambulance was running its siren when they took him away, so I guess he was still alive then,” she adds. “I didn’t hear about anyone having died in this fire,” Sigrid says. “Although I’m not sure I would have.”

The way Eleanor and Sigrid deal with the question of “did Larry die in the fire” is part of why they’re so compatible with Jacob. (I’ll explain more later.)

You and Eleanor look at each other, eyes wide. “Banana,” you both say.

I have no idea where I got the idea that what this chapter needed was +500 words about a pet bunny being rescued, but it was fun to write. I also don’t know why his name is Banana, but it is.

your neighbor Graham’s apartment

I originally named him Jeremy, but then I realized that was too similar to Penelope’s brother Jerry (Jerome). A long time ago, I knew someone named Jeremy, and he knew someone named Graham.

“You know how to contact him?”

I realized this at the last minute before submitting the chapter. But it gave me the opportunity to show Jacob improvising a useful lie, and being ethical afterward, and the effects that this had on Sigrid.

Sigrid Petersen: Asking you for ID is totally reasonable: -2/0/-1

Notice that this small-but-measurable decrement in Sigrid’s affection for Jacob is the result of her doing a cop thing (asking for ID) and Jacob not immediately complying. She forgave him a moment later and her affection incremented back up, but still. This also happens when he and Eleanor don’t immediately agree that if Banana’s dead, then they should just leave his body in the apartment.

Sigrid Petersen: It’s nice to have a chance to be helpful: +1/0/0

I’m aware that there are a lot of abusive cops. I’m also aware that there are cops who try to be good people. Sigrid likes helping people. I considered having this line be “helpful for a change” or “helpful for once”, but decided that was too much.

greatly increased stamina in all physical activities (...) The pain in your side vanishes immediately

In a lot of stories like this, the protagonist would get a stamina booster primarily for sexual purposes. It amused me to have that be secondary here.

Unlocked the secret Personal Attributes store for yourself. 200 points awarded.

In DFang’s original text, Jacob had access to a “Global Attributes” store but there wasn’t a “Personal Attributes” store for him. I didn’t like the idea of a physical stamina booster being considered a “global attribute”.

And you have exactly 2500 points.

When writing a Multiplier story, you have to keep track of the protagonist’s points. Prior to getting the 200 points for unlocking the Personal Attributes store, Jacob only had 2300 points. It’s true that I could have just made Steel-Driving Man less expensive, but that felt wrong in a way that the 200 points for unlocking the Personal Attributes store didn’t.

Wait and see (and help and talk)

“Wait and see” is a basic answer to “what will happen in the next chapter” – but it’s also a specific description of what happens in the office. He’s in the waiting room (he waits), Belinda shows him the video and her hair (he sees), he helps fix the chaos from the berserk guy, and he talks to Maggie.

“Happy Birthday Aunt Belinda,”

this way Jacob doesn’t need to ask her name, and also it tells us that she’s not the kids’ mom.

an unseasonal “Jingle Bells”

based on the descriptions of the weather, and on Molly’s status re: college and track meets, this story takes place in late September.

(If you read this story earlier and had the impression that Molly was in high school, that’s because DFang accidentally indicated that she was a high school senior in one chapter and a college freshman in another. Since that was an actual continuity error, MrWhysper agreed to fix it for me. He also fixed the part where Penelope’s Multiplier profile didn’t mention her full name, and Helen’s profile didn’t mention Jerry’s full name, even though all the other profiles have full names. Thanks, dude.

The part where Jacob got points for using the Profile Image to see someone naked wasn’t technically a continuity error, but it would have broken the story because then Jacob could just farm points by looking at a woman’s profile when she’s nude, closing the Multiplier, re-opening it, looking at her profile again, etc. So now he got points for using the Profile Image to see someone naked, for the first time.

There are other details from the original DFang text that I’d change if I could, but they aren’t mistakes in the same way. So they’re just constraints that I have to stay within.)

Mom made a blueberry-tequila cheesecake for Jorge and his boyfriend.

This way we know that Jorge isn’t Belinda’s boyfriend. (If Jorge was bi and in a poly relationship with Belinda and another guy, Belinda would have described the cake as being for ‘us’. Yes, I think about these details.) I originally called it a blueberry-banana-tequila cheesecake, but bananas already have a role in this story.

(Plus, okay, being able to run like that was kind of fun.)

When I talked about this chapter with a friend, he assumed that it would begin with Jacob discovering how fun it is to be able to run and run and run.

one of those pneumatic anti-slam slow-open things

I spent a while looking for what those things are properly called, then decided that if I didn’t know the name, it wasn’t too likely that you-the-reader would either. And Jacob definitely wouldn’t.

“That gentleman wanted something we are not legally able to provide,”

After fussing over a few possibilities that would probably have made the story more complicated than it needed to be, I decided that Maggie would respect client confidentiality even if the client was abusive and violent.

a lot of those are confidential.

What exactly are they? Why is it important that the original physical documents be retained and repaired? Sorry, that’s confidential.

you ‘headbutted’ Belinda.

I was very pleased with myself for this.

I memorized the entire script (...) they were doing Twelve Angry Men, same thing happened.

Junior year, I found the script for Twelve Angry Men in the school library and read it several times. (I didn’t try out for it, because that wasn’t the play we did.)

after that conversation this morning you genuinely like her as a person (wait – was that only this morning?!)

This is both a hint about how I think the Multiplier works, and an allusion to the fact that I wrote “Penelope calls Jacob during breakfast” weeks before I wrote “Jacob has lunch with Penelope”.

pad see ew with beef from Thai Game

When I get Thai food, I mostly get pad see ew, and when I get pad see ew, it’s usually with beef. “Thai Game” is the sort of cheap pun you’d see in the name of a food court vendor.

chicken caesar with a side of fries from Republic of Salad

when I get caesar salad, I usually have it with chicken and a side of fries. “Republic of Salad” is inspired by the sort of name you’d see in food court vendors, but it’s not a pun.

I don’t know what they were, my best guess is they were other people’s insurance policies, but Maggie said they were confidential so I didn’t look.”

Do you know enough about how the insurance industry works to say definitively that those couldn’t have been other people’s policies? If you don’t: I bet Jacob was right, they were other people’s insurance policies. If you do: wow, congratulations on your deep knowledge of the insurance industry! They must have been some other sort of confidential document where it’s important to retain the originals! Maybe it’s some regulatory thing that applies to the jurisdiction where Jacob lives!

“I’ll try to be in by Thursday,” you tell Penelope.

DFang didn’t actually establish what day the fire was, but it was a weekday (Jacob was at work) and the day after it was another weekday (Jacob apologized pre-emptively for missing work that day). I’ve decided it happened on Monday. He’s thinking he can be back at the office, contributing, after two days off to deal with losing his apartment in a fire.
Jacob is very smart, but (like everyone) he has some blind spots.

Penelope’s eyes widen. “You remember that?”

Again: “a hint about how I think the Multiplier works”, and also “I wrote these two chapters weeks apart”.

Is this a standard machine?” “Oh. No, this is a George 347, it’s over thirty years old.

I don’t know how key-duplicating machines work today. But, a long time ago, I had a summer job in a business that had a key-duplicating machine, and I got to watch it in operation. My vague description of how the machine works is based on my vague memories of that old machine (as is the wire-brush fussing that Janine does). “George” and “347” are relevant to that business.

Rabson LB12+

Decades ago, mystery writer Rex Stout created the “Rabson lock company” to use as a fake brand name in his Nero Wolfe novels. Later, mystery writer Lawrence Block used Rabson locks in his Bernie Rhodenbarr novels, which is where I learned about them. There were twelve Bernie Rhodenbarr novels, plus a few short stories. I recommend them.

Then a guy who’s texting as he walks bumps into you, and before you can catch your balance you fall into an old lady carrying shopping bags.

I needed a reason for Jacob to not check the Multiplier right away.

Fashionissima

I’m pleased with this name, which (if you grotesquely **** how Latin works) means “most perfect female fashion”.

a Leopard’s Spot at the other end of the mall

There’s a Canadian discount retail chain called “Giant Tiger”. Also, an allusion to “the leopard cannot change his spots” and Terry Pratchett’s mangling “the leopard cannot change his shorts”.

Her name tag says “HI! My name is: TESSA”.

The name tag of the woman he met at Fashionissima just said “Olga”. Yes, I went to the trouble of thinking of different name-tag styles for high-end vs low-end stores.

Connected the fact that Tammy seems really horny today to the fact that you’re a not-bad-looking guy who’s returning a key to Tammy, and to the fact that Tammy was practically ecstatic to see you, and inferred that you and Tammy are fucking.

As with Eleanor and Sigrid, Olga’s thoughts here are part of why she’s a Top Prospect.

Top Prospects™

I am particularly pleased with the notion of Top Prospects, which I only thought of a while after I’d begun writing the chapters (and thus, for instance, I had to go back a few chapters and adjust a few details in Eleanor’s updates log, and how Jacob recalled their interactions; originally she was just a neighbor who he’d helped out on occasion over the years, and she liked him as a friendly acquaintance). Some branches of the story say that the Multiplier only tracks people if they and you (the user) know each other’s names… but what does it mean to know someone’s name? Do nicknames count? Hypocorisms? Religious names? Does it have to be a full legal name? I’ve read Patrick McKenzie’s “Falsehoods programmers believe about names”.

This also let me integrate something which occurred to me early on when reading Multiplier tales, which is that just because two people like each other, that doesn’t mean they’re a good match.

My original note was “does the app only show him profiles of people who he could potentially have a (sexual) relationship with? or of everyone? … I think the default is, only the first group. If he tinkers with the settings long enough, he can see 'everyone' instead of just 'potential lovers'.”

a synergistic fusion of agentic compatibility tests, intelligent forecasting systems, and deep learning engines”, which is (...) quite possibly meaningless bullshit.

It’s not meaningless bullshit. However, these terms are not being used in the way that human tech companies use them.

why does a woman with a Thai first name have a German last name?

I read an article recently about how, when writing characters with names from other cultures, you should be careful to not accidentally use the names of real people who are famous in those cultures. So I combined a Thai personal name with a distinctly non-Thai family name, just to be sure. Also, that opens up several narrative possibilities that I may or may not explore.

Callie and Jenna

Born in the mid 00s, and named after sitcom stars of the 90s: Calista Flockhart and Jennifer Aniston.

4 0 1 7

That would get you into a building I no longer live in.

I’m actually a bit surprised that I’m not more emotionally broken.

More hints about the way the Multiplier works, and also about how long it took to write these chapters.

“You’re stronger than you think you are?”

A quote from All-Star Superman #10, by Grant Morrison

<Barking Biter>

Becca (username: Barking Biter) is based on a real person, whose name is not Becca and whose username is not “Barking Biter”. Spoiler: she will not show up and meet Jacob in real life.
She appears here for three reasons. First, to further explore the question of ‘what sort of interaction will trigger relationship tracking’. Second, to follow up on DFang’s statement that Jacob did make some friends in university, but only a few, and he hadn’t really contacted some of them for quite a while. And third, to interrupt Jacob before he can think about a detail I don’t want him to think about just yet. (Not the first time he’s been interrupted before he can think about that specific detail, actually!)