But now my hurling days are done

Cinder was in a foul mood. There was nothing unusual about that, but her foul mood was fouler than usual somehow.

She had spent the last hour or so before going to work stuffing her face. After Ella had restrained herself for so long, finally being able to eat her fill should have satisfied her, but it didn’t. Oh, sure, she may not have been hungry anymore, but the churning feeling of discomfort in her gut had yet to abate. Like something heavy and dense was sitting there.

Cinder knew the reason for that as she gnawed on her lower lip. It was really quite obvious, as much as it chagrined her.

She felt bad for her earlier outburst. She shouldn’t have- she was just looking out for Ella, after all! But the fact remained that she did.

And that made her feel downright miserable.

“Fucking hell,” she muttered under her breath as she stomped out of the elevator and into the entryway to the Master’s Suite.

Today was going badly enough. And now for the worst part of the day, her daily obligation to clean. It made her want to put her fist through the nearest wall!

But she didn’t do that.

Contrary to the assumptions of others, Cinder was capable of restraining herself.

She just hated doing so.

Cinder stared up at the door and took a deep breath. She slowly let it out, hoping it would calm her down. It didn’t. Cinder didn’t really do calm. Or happy. Or friendly. Even trying to fake it made her feel almost worse than she did after what happened with Amelia.

So she put on the least sulky scowl she could and knocked on the door.

Mary was standing there to greet her.

“Welcome,” the redhead said with a polite smile. “Cinder?”

“That’s right,” Cinder muttered, fighting her urge to shove past the redhead and get to work. The faster she started, the sooner she’d be done.

Mary must have sensed her frustration because she quickly stepped aside and let Cinder pass. She didn’t have any reaction to the glare Cinder gave her as she passed by, either. She was polite and cheerful all the way through.

Cinder couldn’t fucking stand her.

The irate girl picked up a broom and got to work, sweeping the floor. As was almost always the case, the place was spotless. Ever the diligent housewife, Mary spent most of her day either cleaning the Master’s Suite, or making Nola clean it. She was content with where she’d ended up in the show, only leaving her room nowadays when invited, or to hold her cooking lessons. Maybe her friendships with the other women had taken a slight hit, but she was fine with that if she could make Nick happy by giving him a clean room to come back to.

Just another reason Cinder couldn’t stand her.

Cinder continued to watch the pigtailed girl out of the corner of her eye. Mary wasn’t even paying attention to her. She expected the other woman to hover over her to make sure she was doing the job right. After all, it was usually Ella who came up her to clean. Shouldn’t she be uncomfortable about Cinder’s presence?!

But no, apparently Mary didn’t even care, Cinder was being completely ignored. For a book of all things! She was plopped on the couch thumbing through some mystery novel without a care in the world, while Cinder worked her butt off!

…Well… that was nothing new, Cinder supposed. After all, Mary had been working all day, as the cleanliness of this room would attest. Cinder was basically just going through the motions because she had to, if she were a regular maid she’d declare her work done already.

“Hey Mary! What are you reading? Something sexy?”

And there was the another annoyance that came with her job. Holly came bounding into the room with a big smile on her face, eyes shining as she peeked over Mary’s shoulder. “…Oh, never mind. Boring mystery book. Never did get why you and Nick liked those so much. Poetry books are so much prettier…” She let out a whimsical sigh and fluttered her eyelashes.

Then she perked up again when she noticed Cinder sweeping in the corner. “Oh hey! Ella! You’re already here?” Holly greeted the other girl with a wave.

Cinder turned to look at her and scowled. “Go suck a lemon,” she muttered.

“Oh, yeesh. Cinder. Never mind.” Holly took a step back, giving her some space. Which Cinder appreciated greatly. As annoying as Holly could be, she at least knew when to stay out of other people’s way.

Now if only she could leave the room entirely and take Mary with her, that would be just great in Cinder’s book.

Ugh, I hate those two! Were they always this annoying?! Cinder shot another sulky look towards the two girls. Mary had returned back to her book while Holly was flicking through the TV, enjoying the porn parodies of shows Cinder and Ella had never watched in the first place.

The truth was, Cinder’s patience towards the both of them had been on its last legs for several days now, and she honestly didn’t know why. Before she had regarded Mary and Holly with the same casual disinterested hostility she held towards basically everybody. But ever since the round began, those two had been particularly irritating.

They were just… always there! Being annoying. It was like she couldn’t go one night without the two of them being there, which was strange because Cinder hadn’t been working most nights, Ella had.

Ah… I see. Cinder glanced down at her chest as she realized the source of these sour feelings. These feelings aren’t mine. Yeah those two are annoying, but it’s Ella who they’re annoying most.

That explained the recent shift in Cinder’s perception of the others. It was all due to that transformation she kept forgetting about!

• The Heart Remembers: Cinder and Ella may not share conscious memories between them, but moving forward their hearts will share significant overlap. If one persona has a close relationship with another contestant, this will result in the other persona feeling a sense of fondness towards them as well, even if they are not aware of the root of these feelings. (Switch)

Ella’s feelings towards Holly and Mary were affecting Cinder’s perception of them, too, which was strange. Cinder was the harsh, cold, and resentful one. Ella was the good girl, the sweet one who cared about others. So for Ella to hold such intense feelings of dislike towards those two was enough to give Cinder pause.

Why would she even care?

Rarely did Cinder have the presence of mind to really explore her alter’s motivations and feelings. She always tended to have a limited perception of them to begin with, and Cinder wasn’t exactly the sort of woman to think deeply about this sort of thing. But the more she thought about Holly, Mary, and Ella’s feelings towards them, the more she found herself wishing they would just go away.

They would be so much easier to tolerate if they weren’t always here when she was working. That way she could have Nick all to herse-

A feeling of nausea washed over Cinder and she began to gag.

“Haghk! Ughk! You… THAT can’t be why, you-! For something like that?! Gaghk!” Cinder dropped the broom and clenched her hand over her mouth. She ignored the worried voices of the girls rushing towards her and pushed them aside. She nearly tripped over the clattering broom on her way to the bathroom and practically bounced off the dining room table as she slid by it.

She slammed the door shut behind her, crouched over the toilet bowl, and vomited her guts out.

As Cinder threw up in the toilet she could feel the pressure of Ella aching in her skull. It almost annoyed her as much as Mary’s fist pounding on the bathroom door. But she pushed Ella back where she belonged. She didn’t need to go through this, Cinder was the one who handled all the unpleasantness in their life.

Plus… it was sort of her fault.

Cinder had no idea how long it took for her to stop throwing up, but she felt a little better after she did. “Uwaggh… I never should have eaten that much…” She clung to the toilet bowl so hard her fingers nearly turned as white as the porcelain. The terrifying misery of continuous vomiting gave way to the relief of being finished, and she finally felt like she could take a breath without puking her guts out.

The unpleasant feeling in her stomach earlier wasn’t due to guilt, probably. She had just eaten too much food and made herself sick! Yeah, that was it. Same with throwing up just now. It had been because her stomach gave out on her.

Not that the notion of Ella actually being jealous of those two for getting to spend all their time with that bastard didn’t also make her want to throw up, because it did. Ella was actually jealous of them! Cinder couldn’t believe it, but she could feel it in her gut. Literally.

What the hell is even going on? She thought to herself, exasperated. Does she just want it to be her and Nick together alone while she’s cleaning? Get some private time with him? How twisted is that?! Cinder only had a vague inkling of Ella’s feelings, but she was afraid that she was on the right track.

Because, on some level, that was how Cinder herself felt.

And that was the most nauseating thing of all.

Calm down! She slammed her fist into the side of her skull. You do NOT like that guy! Those soft, girly feelings are Ella’s, not yours! You’re nothing like that!

Cinder wanted to claw through her eyes and into her brain just to get that image out of her head, but she didn’t. Instead she shakily rose to her feet, looked down at the mess she’d made all over the toilet, and felt another wave of nausea rising up in her gut.

“Ugh… now I need to clean this mess, too…”

Cinder stormed out of the bathroom, pushing right past a worried Mary and Holly as the two girls fretted over her.

“Are you okay?”

“What happened in there?”

“You aren’t sick, are you?”

“Did you eat something bad?”

Cinder turned towards them and leveled a glare at the duo.

“Just leave me alone!” She griped. “Yeah, I threw up! So what?!”

“So what? That’s serious!” Holly exclaimed.

“She’s right! Have you taken a pregnancy test yet? It could be morning sickness!” Mary worried.

Cinder’s jaw dropped and even Holly looked at Mary with an expression that screamed “Are you kidding me right now?” all over her face.

“I’m not pregnant!” Cinder roared, nearly grabbing her broom and breaking it over the other woman’s head in indignation. “How the hell would you even come to that conclusion!?”

Mary flinched and began to fidget with her fingers. “W-well, you threw up, so, um…”

“Ignore her, her brain goes to weird places,” Holly said, planting herself between Mary and the angry girl.

Mary looked at Holly in shock. “I don’t want to hear that from you!” She screeched.

“Then stop assuming people are pregnant! Last time it was Dawn’s boobs, now this?”

“That-that was different! I was really tired because Nola kept bugging me, I wasn’t thinking straight!”

“Yeah, you can say that again, your thinking was nice and twisted.”

As the two girls bickered Cinder put them out of her mind. She went to go get some rags and got to work wiping down the bathroom.

“Fucking putas,” she muttered under her breath.

Cinder spent a lot of time wiping down the bathroom. It gave her the isolation she needed from Mary and Holly, which was quite a relief. The less time she spent around those two, the better. Her heart was going in all sorts of strange directions, and she simply couldn’t stand it!

When she was finally done, and couldn’t find any more justifications to remain locked in the bathroom, she packed up her stuff and left.

…And her heart froze in her chest.

Cinder hadn’t been watching the clock, but in her defense, it was still early. WAY too early for Nick to be back from his date.

Except it very clearly was not, because he was standing right in the middle of the room, and he wasn’t alone, either.

“Hey, it’s Cinder,” Kim greeted her first. She was standing next to Dani, who looked just as surprised to see her as Nick did.

“You… what are you all doing here?” Cinder held back the anger in her voice. She chewed on her lip sulkily, irritated that her breath must have tasted like vomit. If she’d known Nick was going to be here, then-

…Then nothing. Why the hell would Cinder care about that?!

“Nick lives here,” Dani said dryly, jamming her thumb towards him. “And I’m his date for the night,” she added, softening her tone of voice.

“I’m just tagging along,” Kim chirped. “I’m taking part in a threesome with Dani for both of our benefits.”

Holly giggled. “Hehe. Nice.”

“I think it’s sweet, you going to the trouble of helping Dani out like that,” Mary said with a kind smile on her face.

“No trouble at all!” Kim shook her head. “Actually I think it could end up being pretty fun!”

“Yeah, hopefully,” Dani said, nodding. She was obviously a lot more apprehensive about it than Kim was, even though she seemed to be looking forward to the threesome as well.

As for Cinder?

“Whatever, that’s fucking gross,” she muttered, cringing. “Is that all you people do around here? Fucking fuck like a bunch of fucking… fuckers?”

So she hadn’t received the necessary education needed to develop a robust vocabulary. Or even know what the word “robust” meant. So what?!

“Geez, someone woke up grumpy,” Kim said, rolling her eyes. She didn’t have a lot of patience for bad attitudes, and Cinder was about as big of a bitch as you could be when you were as short as she was. “Who put ground glass in your cornflakes this morning?”

Cinder just glared at her. Then she muttered something foul under her breath.

“Hey! Be nice!” Mary cried.

“Are you kidding me?!” Cinder couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The negative emotions she’d been trying to hold back exploded out. “You expect me to just grin and smile when someone’s starting shit? Like hell I’d let that happen!”

Mary’s eyes widened in confusion and she held up her hands. “N-no! I was talking to Kim, not you! I was saying she should be nicer!”

Cinder blinked and looked at Mary, stunned.

“Uh… what?”

Kim’s eyebrows raised in surprise. She kept her mouth clamped shut.

“She was being mean, so I told her to stop,” Mary said, putting her hands on her hips. “It may have just been a joke, but it was still a mean joke.”

Wait, so Mary wasn’t chewing her out for glaring and cursing Kim out? She… she was actually on Cinder’s side?

“…What the fuck’s the matter with you?” Cinder asked incredulously, shaking her head. Mary looked completely alien standing in front of her right now. “You realize who the fuck you’re talking to right now, yeah?”

Mary crossed her arms over her chest and winced. “Of course I do,” she said quietly. “I’m talking to you, Cinder.”

Cinder snorted incredulously. “Exactly my fucking POINT! Geez, you must be crazy, girl,” she muttered, shaking her head. “I think I’m gonna throw up again… fucking gag me.”

Mary taking her side made Cinder want to throw herself off the balcony. Stupid little sweet spoiled princess, getting all pampered and praised for being a nicey-nice goodie-good, the fucking two-faced bitch was probably just standing up for her to show off for Nick, anyway!

But Mary kept looking at her with that same concerned look. And even worse, now Holly was joining in, too!

What was the matter with these two!?

“Are you serious?” Mary asked tentatively.

“You don’t still feel sick, right?” Holly bit her lip.

Cinder cringed. Fuck! These girls, why did they have to make such a big fucking deal about everything?! She was just saying shit, they didn’t need to get their panties in a bunch over some nonsense!

“You threw up?” Dani approached her with a concerned expression on her face. “Are you feeling okay, Cinder?”

“Great, now you’re pitying me?” Cinder laughed incredulously. “What, are you gonna take my temperature now or something?”

“Cinder, they’re just worried about you,” Nick said. “If you really threw up just now, that’s a serious thing.”

“Ugh…” Cinder froze when her eyes met Nick’s. She wanted to look away but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

A silence that lasted an eternity passed between them.

Finally, Cinder was able to pull her eyes away. She looked down at the floor, her heart pounding in her chest. “Look… it’s not a big deal, alright?!” She managed to stammer out. “I just… had a little too much to eat earlier and I got an upset stomach! Okay!? Is that allowed!?”

Her glare leapt from one face to the next, trying to spot the tiniest glimmer of hostility coming from any of them. But she couldn’t. Everyone was looking at Cinder with eyes brimming with concern, and it made her feel fucking sick.

She wanted to scream. But if she did, she was afraid that she would throw up again, and if that happened, everyone would just get all worried for her.

Again.

And that would be even worse.

“Look, just leave me alone, okay!?” She growled, storming over to her discarded broom and snatching it back up. “I have a job to do! I’m fine, I can do it, so you all go have your threesome or whatever the hell you’re here for, just leave me out of it!”

Just imagining Nick with those two made her feel sick. Ugh… did I not throw up all that food before? She wondered, feeling an uncomfortable pinch in her stomach again. She might not have been done vomiting up her dinner.

That was the only explanation she could think of for why she still had that miserable feeling in her gut.