Tina Date 3, Part 5: Booze and Bullfrogs

Daphne

Tina is fangirling like crazy at this Borscidar Tavern. It is apparently an exact replica of a tavern this Portia Hatter character would visit regularly in her series of books and movies.

“Oooh, ooh, that’s where Portia first tried buttered scotch! Neat, they have the Nordic fish Portia stuck to the underside of her usual stool to make sure no one took it! Oooh, and that scorch mark happened in the third movie when Nora tried to use magic to prove she wasn’t boring trying to flirt with a random floozy! And, wow, they even have one of Himana’s socks hanging from the rafters from the second college book when her and Nora broke into the bar to have sex. This is amazing!”

Daphne telepathically reaches out to her Beloved, “<Hey, are you okay? You seemed irritated in the carriage.>”

“<Boring old me spent years working on my college degrees and elf past me spent decades in a magic academy. And she’s acting like a day here is better than all of that? I don’t want to hurt her, but...>”

“<You feel like she’s disrespecting you?>”

“<She doesn’t mean to, so it’s on me. And, again, I don’t want to hurt her. Last date was rough on her.>”

“<Okay, Beloved. I understand. We do need to have that very private talk I asked for tonight, so be ready for that. And you realize she’s ordering drinks for us, right?>”

Tina drags Harper to a booth, beckoning Daphne to follow along. 3 hot toddy like drinks await them.

“I ordered us some buttered scotches, just like in the movies! We gotta try ‘em! Waitress will be over soon enough for our dinner order. Cheers!”

“Yasou!” Not nearly as good as Crab Trapper. Too sweet.

“Slainte.” Harper takes a sip. “Hmm, mulling spices, sugar, little fat, and scotch. Not an everyday drink, but pretty good. Still prefer it neat.”

Tina makes a face that Daphne thinks matches her own, “Too boozy. And it’s got this weird aftertaste?”

“That would be the peat moss. Gives scotch it’s character. I’ll admit it’s an acquired taste.”

“‘Ello, loves. I suppose only one of you could handle the buttered scotch, eh? Most Portiaheads want something sweeter and less spirit forward. Another round of drinks? Something closer to your taste?”

Beloved orders a scotch, neat, and a water. Tina a Tequila Cosmo. “I’d like a Crab Trapper, please.”

“What’s a Crab Trapper?”

“Some New Hampshire distillery made crab-flavored bourbon. It’s really good.”

“Huh. Learn something new everyday. We’ll see what we can do about that. Give me a minute and take a moment looking through our menu.”

And look through the menu we did. The waitress gets back, informing the party, “Sorry, we don’t have Crab Trapper. The barkeep did make you a ‘Crab Trapper at Home’. Hopefully it’s to your liking. While you try it, who’s ready to order?”

Daphne looks at her drink. They garnished it with little crab claws. Cute! It smells really crabby, too! “Yasou! Ooooh, that’s better than normal Crab Trappper. One recipe for this and can I get the fish and chips, substituting the chips for more fish? And then, raw instead of fried?”

The waitress sarcastically asks, “You don’t eat at restaurants very often, do you?”

“First time, ma’am.”

After blinking in surprise for a moment, the waitress explains, “Our fish comes in frozen and it’s a health code violation to serve that fish raw to a costumer. So, one fish and chips, extra fish, coming up, if that’s okay?”

Sighing, Daphne gives the waitress a thumbs up. At least the drink is good. Tina blurts out, “One Portia Hatter Suprise, please!”

“Wow, straight to dessert, huh? I hope one of you orders something sensible?”

“I’ll try. Ribeye, medium rare, and any way I could get some roasted broccoli instead of the chips?”

Daphne takes another sit of her “Crab Trapper at Home”, then crunches down on on the of the little crab claw garnishes. Tina pulls Harper out of the booth, saying, “Hey, Daph, we’re gonna go to the bathroom real quick! If we aren’t back by the time dinner gets here, come get us!”

Aelene

Aelene exits the library, feeling satisfied. That was time well spent. It was nice that Ms. Calypso left out the books she found for me so I can share them with the others. I should bring the good mermaid Daphne to the library when I get the chance regardless. She needs a chance to mourn as well.

Aelene: -5 BP (Reading and Collating Fees)

She meets up with the rest of the delving party right as they get to the entrance of Dungeons for Damsels. As she approaches, the urge to submit becomes nearly overwhelming.

“Toy, please act normally on the delve. We cannot afford you to give in to your natural place under my feet. Sorry, T- um, Aelene.”

“This one understands, Mistress.” As much as Aelene wants to kneel, she resists.

The good oread Scarlet asks, “Are you two going to be okay in there?”

“Um, yes. This one understands her order. This one will not submit to this one’s Mistress until after the delve.”

“I’ll manage, Ms. Scarlet.”

“Good. Tips were pretty good tonight. Weird to be here without someone manning the kiosk. Anyone need anything?”

Scarlet: +43 BP (Tips)

Scarlet: The Magic of Student Loans +1 Progress: 155/319 (Work/Study Girl)

The good luchtoni Josie (who is wearing nose plugs, for some reason) and the good elf Mattie have also joined the delve. With no one needing to purchase anything at the moment, they all enter the lobby of the dungeon. Josie enters the door with a big 8, written in the Common script. The rest follow.

They find themselves in a paused scene. Raindrops are frozen in midair. A mansion is burning behind them. The air smells of ashes and that strange scent that accompanies rain. A crowd of villagers, more humans in one place than Aelene has ever seen, is before them. A voice that sounds like Mistress Harper speaks out, “What happened last level?”

“Stuff. Can we get started?” Josie growls.

“Wait, Josie. DMs hate it when players just brush off their work. The party got asked by the mayor to help cure her daughter of a masturbation illness. We went in to watch a gross frog lady burst out of the daughter and fought it. Then, we fought a bunch of frogs coming out of the servants. We discovered a bunch of big-dicked tadpoles coming out of the toilet, so Tina blew up the house with a Fireball, which was probably overkill.”

The disembodied voice states, “Thank you for paying attention. Ready to begin?”

“Wait? Masturbation illness?” the good elf Mattie asks, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. Mistress Skye is making a disgusted face at the description.

The good luchtoni Josie growls, “You are still flirty when the result was gross frog ladies bursting out of people like Alien? Really? Let’s start!”

Suddenly, the crowd of humans animates, with a rotund human crying about his destroyed home and dead daughter. Josie shakes him, demanding, “Point us to the sewer.”

“What’s a sewer? Is that why you blew up my house?”

Scarlet asks more reasonably, “Where did your plumbing flow into?”

“Why would I know that? It’s not my job!”

Another human explains, “The waste water flows into an underground cave. The entrance is near the chapel up the hill. Just follow the trail from behind the burning wreckage.”

Expressing their thanks, the group head up the trail. The drizzly rain really soaks them to the bone. Then, the rain begins to really pour. They party starts to run, hoping that the chapel can provide them shelter until the rain lets up.

Harper

Last time I got dragged to a bathroom on a date, I got slapped. Would Tina do that? Need to stay on guard.

The bathroom is much more expected than the one in the Suckling Swine. No Jacuzzi or shower. No fancy bidet toilets. Smells like industrial potpourri air freshener. Tina stares into the mirror and starts to touch up her make-up. Harper leans back on the wall; she can’t help but enjoy the view of Tina leaning over to check her work, sticking her ass out in the process.

“So, hey, I noticed that you seem a little irritated since the carriage. What did Daphne do? I want you feeling happy for our date, Harper.”

I need to be less expressive, I guess? Harper sighs. “Daphne didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Vix, then? I saw that you let her out for a bit. She do something bad?”

“No, Tina. I’ll be okay. Can we drop it?”

It takes Tina a few beats to realize the problem, “Wait? You can’t be irritated at me, Nora! I’m Portia Hatter!”

Harper, wanting to diffuse the situation before it really begins, gets off the wall and wraps Tina in a hug. Tina squirms around to stare up into the sea elf’s eyes. “You are not allowed to be grumpy about me, Harper. I’m your date tonight.”

“I’m trying to sort my thought as I say this, so forgive me if it’s a little ramshackle. I have 3 different adult lives crammed in my head and thinking about the past gets complicated. Old, boring human Francis worked really hard to get his degrees. New, sexy sea elf Harper spent decades in a magic academy to be certified as an apprentice wizard. She, I, sorry, confusing, I spent years trying to even nail the basics of the bladesong despite being a complete klutz on land through most of my childhood. I’m not wanting to belittle you, Tina, but the struggle to learn is the point to college, not the piece of paper at the end. If you want to go to college for real once the show is over, I’ll give you all the support I can. So...”

Tina pulls her head back as her ears droop. “Don’t kiss me right now. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Do you really not think I’m a college graduate?” Her lower lip starts to tremble.

Harper sighs, “Yes and no. Honorary degrees are given as thank yous, not as rewards for doing the work. But, they did give you the degree. So, you’re a college graduate.”

“Oh.” Harper’s heart starts to break looking at the disappointment in Tina’s eyes. I don’t want to hurt her.

“Look, my little goofball. I’ve had fun today and I am so proud of you. And I am serious; if you want to do magic college for real, I’ll get you there.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you, my bunny.”

“Wait, really?”

Tina: +2 VP (Get Mistress to Confess Her Love of You, x2 bonus [First Time Mistress participant], x0.5 penalty [Did Not Say it Back])

Mattie

Man, those frog sluts are something.

Mrs. Skye noticed that the door was broken into by the time the party got up to the chapel, and the girls all saw a pod (or whatever one calls a group of frogs) of ‘em squirting all over the chapel’s altar. The only lit up portion of the chapel is the altar area, so Mrs. Skye volunteers to get a good sneak attack going to start the party off. As she steps into the shadow of the chapel’s edge, it’s almost as if she disappears. Now that is some high-quality sneaking.

All of a sudden, Mrs. Skye appears out of nowhere, her blade already sticking through one of the frog’s right legs. She pulls back and strikes true again, her sword thrusting through the thing’s heart. Then, the blade starts to glow and sing. The stuck frog starts to freak out. Mrs. Skye gets another grazing blow on the thing before it starts to run away, but all of the noise attracted the attention of the others. The nearest of them delivers a couple of grazing strikes against the drow.

The other melee girls get in on the action. Red charges towards the furthest back one, grazing it as she plants a big spear thing in the ground, rotates up it and delivers a 1-2 pair of kicks to the thing’s stomach. The frog lands a couple of blows to Red, but she rolls it off. The frog then briefly catches on fire, but looks less phased at that than it should. Abs lunges at another one, body glowing red, lashing out like she doesn’t give a shit if she’s hit. Her spiky collar pulses twice as does the fuckin’ rad tattoo of herself she had over both of her arms on the first hit. The tattoo pulses again as she laughs off the frog’s attack, and once more as her claws turn the frog’s head to pulp. Nerves goes to mop up the heavily injured one that ran away from Skye. Mattie does note that the high elf is using her normal scimitar thing (she’s too afraid of having to pound herself on the crazy magic one?). Might explain why she doesn’t quite drop it.

Mattie fires her first combat shot to blow the frog thing’s brains out. Then, she feels 2 sharp wide bites into her, one right on her ass cheek, the other into her opposite flank. It is the most overwhelmingly arousing thing she has ever felt. The way each of those bites inserted something inside her. She can’t help it. Pocketing her suit into her inventory, she lays prone and starts to fingerblast herself. Sooooooo goood!

In her extremely horny haze, she still attempts to pay attention to the fight. Mrs. Skye, her little handfuls looking so fucking tantalizing, stabs her sexy frog real good. Red, her legs so lovely, lands a hard hammerblow with her foot, then 2 quick kicks to the face of her target. Abs, her abs so fucking lickable, charges at a foe right by Mattie. The astral elf gets a great view of the wolf-girl hitting the green-skinned frog thing so hard it starts to fucking masturbate to Abs rending it into pieces. Then another green-skinned frog thing bites into the gym thot. Mattie watches as a giant fucking tadpole is pushed into the hole in Abs’s shoulder; the wolf girl then drops to fingerblast herself. Nerve’s little reflection (with such a spankable ass so close) thing pops up and starts slicing into the frog, with some effect. Then the whole world goes white as Mattie starts to orgasm.

Mattie: +17 XP (Killed 2 Level 7 Monsters and 1 Level 8 Monster, x0.8 penalty [party size])