Enter Mike The Sceptic

Most twenty four year olds would be ecstatic to own their own home at my age, not me. Looking about the family home that I'd been raised in I could only wish my father was still alive.

But no, he just had to go on his sky diving trips, and rock climbing, and every other fool thing a fifty something year old man had no business doing trying to prove himself still young despite the fact he wasn't. And his heart had gotten the last laugh.

So here I was, ditching a dead end job to move back across the country to the desert I hated and settle the affairs of a man who tried to live the lifestyle of someone half his age. That had gotten him killed. Fuck.

The biggest headache of the whole thing of course was his insistence on giving me his name. Not junior or the second or anything like that, no. Just Mike Watson, just like my father. Which made all the paperwork a nightmare. Why transferring a inheritance from someone of the same name was such a problem I didn't know, maybe it was a fraud thing? The government was certainly gung ho enough about taking their chunk of it either way. Still my dad had done well enough with investments from a healthy retirement that there was plenty left for me, plus a car that screamed mid life crisis, and of course the house.

The house that my dad would never even think of selling no matter what kind of lifestyle he had been chasing cause mom had picked it out. Before we lost her.

And now it was just me. Double fuck.

He'd still redecorated. Everything was now ultra modern glass and metal, sleek and nothing like the home I'd grown up in. I dropped the keys to his, now my, stupid Porsche on the coffee table as I sank into the black leather couch that was way more comfortable than it looked and flipped through the mail I'd just picked up. Bills, letters of condolences from a myriad of the adventure groups he'd been in, probably looking for donations, and assorted junk mail. And something strange. There was a package that was almost the right size for a large letter, if too thick. It was rigid and definitely too heavy to be paper, unless it was a book.

It just said The Weekly Waifu and Perks Catalogue on the front, and was addressed to my old man. Or me now I guess. "What the hell kind of kinky shit did you sign up for this time dad?" It was certainly strange enough to pull me out of my funk. What the hell. I ripped open the cardboard and inside was a slim black tablet, WC was emblazoned on it's surface in silvery letters. The screen lit up after a moment when I opened it, but it just said the same thing as the package, but there was a spot for a thumb print scan. I might have the same name as my dad but no way did we have the same thumb print. No return address on the package, and a quick Google search on my phone turned up nothing. Guess the mystery died here.

Just for fucks sake I placed my thumb on the scanner anyways. The screen blinked as I sat up in shock and suddenly it was displaying something new.

There was a quick explanation about vouchers, perks, and waifus, and then Week one: Naruto. Followed by a list of seven girls from the franchise, each with three perks listed. Seriously what the hell kind of kinky shit were you up to old man? Some kind of weird fantasy harem crap apparently.

Week one though? Had he just signed up for this? I guess that explained my thumb print working if they didn't have him confirmed in the system yet. This was just stupid enough to be funny. Fine I'll play your game dad, lets see what my RPG skills can come up with in your harem simulator.

Well first off if I'm going to have a harem Endless Stamina is a no brainer. Can't have my character unable to keep it up with a whole harem to please. Tsunade Senju was looking really fucking hot in her picture and all three of her abilities looked pretty good so I checked them which unlocked her as a waifu. Wonder how that works? Guess we'll see.

Extra Dimensional Space is a no brainer. Unlimited storage space is a huge deal for any RPG. Powerhouse goes on the list as well. Unlimited mana? Yes fucking please! Or I guess chakra since the game is listing Naruto characters. Now what's a harem game without a way to make them yours? I've got Tsunade on my list already so MILF Magnet should be a great lure but Bondage Expert seals the deal, literally. This OP shit lets you lock anything, including statuses. All I have to do is get an agreement from a waifu to serve my character and then lock that shit in and bam, eternal servant. It even lets me put them in restraints to help get a agreement. Well I still have one voucher left after all that. Who Says You Can Only Have One looks tempting if broken. Mei herself is another MILF and I only have one waifu, so would Who Says You Can Only Have One give me another waifu for the price of one? It's a stupid meta move but what the fuck do I care about this game and it's rules. I pressed both the perk and the waifu at the same time expecting to get an error but instead I got a loading bar under a box congratulating me on my choices and below that a notice reminding me to check back in a week for the next round of picks.

Tossing the tablet on the table next to the keys I laughed at the absurdity. Fucking around with some sex game my dad ordered from who knows where before his heart fucking exploded. I got up to grab a beer or three from the fridge while I waited on this mysterious download. Maybe it would explain how to play this stupid game then. Hopefully I'd at least have a couple of virtual Milfs to ogle while I felt sorry for myself.