Rogue: Trusty Daggers (natural 1)

ROGUE: ”Oh no, you misunderstand me… The secrecy is for your modesty.” With a flick of my wrists I pulled my daggers from my belt. ”Don’t worry, I’m a consummate professional. Now just hold still for a moment…” And then I start cutting through her clothes with my daggers, without harming her.

DM: Alright, you're dual-wielding, so give me two attacks to slice her clothes.

ROGUE: Here comes the first one Rolls a d20s. ...Oh no

BARD: What did you roll?

ROGUE, groaning: Natural 1.

DM: Haha, well okay.

You step forward with swagger, and draw your twin daggers with a flourish - a rather zealous one, as your left-hand dagger cuts to close to your own waist and slices clean through your own belt. Simultaneously as you brandish your daggers at the barmaid your breeches plummet to the floor, pooling sadly around your ankles. The contrast between your drawn steel and impromptu pantsing is comical. After a moment of silence the barmaid lets out a burst of bubbling laughter.

SORCERER: She said she was a professional. We just assumed she meant thief, not... exhibitionist!

ROGUE (burying face in hands): I hate you all. And I hate my dice!