And do I tell her if I know?

I drove us to the church Charissa attended in town. I'd never been there - it was way more "Jesus-y" than I'm used to, but it seemed pretty popular with kids in their 20s and 30s. Even though it was summer, there was a strong "young professionals vibe" at this place, evident even from the parking lot as we pulled in.

The kids jumped out of the car, and I whispered again to Charissa, "Is it a bible? Like, you always bring a bible to church but you left it home this time?"

"No, sorry!" Charissa beamed exuberantly. "My bible is always safe and sound by my bed. I like to read my favorite passages before going to sleep." I smiled inwardly as I remembered a few choice phrases I had seen underlined in her bible.

The lewdness of your youth...
She carried on her whoring...
Being stronger than she, he made her lay with him...

"OK, but I'm going to guess!" I said as we exited the car. Obviously, all I could think about was Charissa going commando under her dress. Surely it was her panties she'd left behind! What did she write in her diary about riding home from the beach with no underwear? "Seth's eyes were all over me and it was so fudging hot." But would I guess it and make her watch a movie with me? (Basic Instinct? American Pie? Shame?) Or would I let her keep her dirty little secret?

It was hard to focus on the church service, though I admit to paying attention to the hip new remix of "Come, Ye Sinners." My kids, to my surprise, liked the music and managed to deal with the boring parts pretty well, motivated by the promise of ice cream later. By the end of the service, I had made up my mind.

There was a little picnic reception outside the church, and I told the kids they could have some chips and lemonade before going to brunch. I sipped some coffee and enjoyed watching Charissa talk with her peers. At one point, she pointed me out to some (rather hot-looking) friends, flashing me a smile when she noticed me noticing her. After a few minutes, she walked over to me.

"Did you like it?" she asked.

"Yes, I really did," I said. "Maybe we'll come more."

"I'm so glad!" she said, seeming genuinely pleased. "The pastor's sermon was great today, didn't you think? The way he tied together Queen Esther's private life with the need to bury evil and let good flourish. 'Let truth spring up from the ground!'"

"Did you manage to forget about the thing you left at home?" I asked.

Charissa blushed. "Actually, no. It didn't work for me. I was actually pretty distracted by it the whole time."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, feeling an actual pang of regret.

"It's no problem," she said. "I really like the challenge. I might try it again."

"I confess," I said, "that I was also thinking about what you left behind."

"You were?" she said simply.

"Yeah. I was trying to figure it out." I looked her up and down, "pretending" to examine every inch of her body. Of course, there were no panty lines to be seen. "And I'm pretty sure I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do. It's not something I would ordinarily notice, but I think by looking closer I could tell what was missing."

"You could?" She looked... what? Apprehensive? Nervous? Excited?

"I could." I took a breath. "It was a hair tie, wasn't it? Usually, you wear a ponytail out of the house."

I saw a look pass over her eyes--was it confusion? Mixed with relief? Then she smiled, "Oh, um," she paused. "You got it! I guess I have to watch your movie or whatever!"

I smiled, too, knowing that she got to keep her secret and I got to be the winner. "Told you I'd figure it out," I pretended to gloat.

"Congratulations. And, did it work for you? Did you think about your wallet at all?"

Honestly, I hadn't! "Actually, no. I wasn't focused on my wallet at all."

"Well, good for you," Charissa said. "I'm really glad you were able to spend your time at church focusing on what matters."

"Me too, Charissa. Thanks. So anyway, you have fun with Amy! Just let me know when you're coming back."

"Sure thing, I will. Thanks, Seth! Bye!"