Guessing game

My kids, unsurprisingly, had gotten distracted by playing some kind of imagination game together, and I sternly told them to finish brushing their teeth and getting ready to go.

Meantime...

"OK," I said to Charissa. "Want to guess?"

She was sitting at our dining room table, and she looked up from texting on her phone. "Sorry, guess what?"

"What I left behind."

"Oh, um, your wallet?"

"Damn, you're good!"

Charissa laughed. "Language, Seth... We are about to go to church."

"Fuck, sorry about that." I grinned, and she groaned. "OK my turn."

"Your turn..."

"To guess!"

"Oh, um, OK..." she said. I could tell she was a bit hesitant, maybe even embarrassed, and I desperately hoped I knew why!

"OK, so you have your phone."

"Yep," she said, holding it up.

"And your purse."

"Mmhmm."

"And I'm guessing you need your wallet when you're hanging out with Amy."

"Yes," she said.

"You don't wear glasses."

"Nope."

"You don't carry a little stuffed teddy bear, do you?"

She laughed. "No, definitely not."

I pretended to rack my brain. "Hmmmm..."

She recrossed her bare legs. "No guesses?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm going to figure it out!"

"I'm not so sure," she said.

"No, I'm definitely going to."

"Wanna bet?" she laughed.

"Definitely," I said, catching her off guard. "Tell you what," I continued before she could tell me she was joking. "If I can't figure it out in three guesses, you win."

"Oh? What do I win?"

I thought for a few seconds. "I'll cook anything you want for dinner. No holds barred."

"Oh, sounds great!" she said. "And in the unlikely event that you win?"

"Then I get to pick any movie, and you have to watch the whole thing with me."

"All right, sounds fun," she said. "Deal."

"Tampon!" I shouted suddenly, maybe a little too loudly.

"Excuse me, what?" Clearly I had caught her off guard.

"That's my first guess. Usually you wear a tampon, but today you have a pad."

My heart beat extra loudly as I watched Charissa turn bright red.

"Seth," she whispered. "Be quiet about that kind of stuff."

"OK," I replied with an exaggerated whisper of my own. "But am I right?"

"Definitely not!" she said, returning to a normal voice.

"Oh, because--"

Just then, my kids came bursting into the room.

"Ready, Dad! Ready, Charissa!"

"OK brats, let's get outta here," I said, changing tack immediately. I grabbed my keys, and this time, I whispered for real when I told Charissa, "Two more guesses. I'm going to figure it out."