High and dry, out of the rain; it's so easy to hurt others when you can't feel pain

A strange, tense silence hung in the air as Nick and Vivian walked down the street. Vivian was trailing behind him, and she had the distinct feeling that something was wrong. There was an uncomfortable tension in her breast, and it felt like it was choking her.

“Hey, Nick… so I thought of what we could do next!” She said, catching up to him. She hopped around him and planted herself in his path with a big smile.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, uh… there’s this really amazing, state-of-the-art restaurant that I just love, and I was thinking I could show you!” Vivian said, trying to recapture the pleasant mood from this morning. “What do you say?”

“…Sure, Vivian, if that’s what you want,” Nick said.

He sounded so tired. So… frustrated.

That unpleasant feeling got worse.

Vivian bit her lip. “Nick… is everything okay?”

Nick raised his shoulders in an exasperated shrug. The smile on his face looked a little too forced. “Why wouldn’t it be?” He asked.

She had no idea. But it obviously wasn’t.

“…You’re upset.” Vivian bristled uncomfortably. “I can tell. What’s up? You’re not having fun? I’m sorry, let me make it up to you, um…”

“Why do you think I’m upset, Vivian?” Nick asked. He looked her right in the eye and she froze.

Vivian wasn’t wrong. Nick was upset. He’d felt uncomfortable ever since they left the hospital, and he was only just now starting to figure out why.

“Uhah… uh…” The heiress was quick to recover from her initial confusion. “Nick, if this is about my mom, I told you, she’s fine. She’s not sick, she just has a weak constitution. And I don’t really mind that she isn’t ever going to be able to go horseback riding with me, I’ve made my peace with that!”

She hadn’t really; but if it would help Nick feel better then she’d try to.

But it just seemed to make things worse.

“Vivian… do you really think I’m upset because of your mom?” Nick asked seriously.

“…Aren’t you?” If it wasn’t that, then why was he looking at her that way? Why did he seem so… hurt?

“Vivian, this is about you!” Nick had been trying so hard not to lose his temper. But he couldn’t keep it in anymore. “This is about what you did! What you’ve been doing!”

“…Me?” Vivian squeaked, turning pale.

Nick sighed and scratched his head in frustration. “Vivian… god… I really didn’t want to do this, but… ugh, I just can’t right now, okay?”

“Can’t… can’t what?” She gulped. That unpleasant feeling in her chest was spreading, and her head was pounding as she realized this wasn’t just about not having fun. Nick was really upset.

With her.

She felt like she was going to pass out.

“That prank of yours… in the hospital,” Nick said through clenched teeth. “All that with your mother… what was that!?”

“I… Nick, I was just… …Y-you, you were the one who… who came inside, so…” Vivian was having trouble thinking clearly right now- she hadn’t expected any of this.

“Because that’s what you wanted, right?” Nick crossed his arms over his chest. “You set the whole thing up. You brought me to the hospital, and played that cruel ‘prank’ on me, and then… I don’t even know what to think, Vivian! It’s all too much!”

His emotions were a maelstrom right now, raging against himself. His anger at what had happened was warring with his sympathy for Vivian’s situation, and all of it was fighting against his concern that this was all one big scheme of hers.

“…No… no!” Vivian shook her head adamantly. “I-I didn’t, I didn’t even want you to come, remember? I… okay, yes, I did, afterwards, but before that-!” Her thoughts were spinning. “…Look, I called Dakota, okay? I didn’t even want you there! She said I had to bring you to the hospital! So… so I did.”

“And then you told me to wait outside, but that’s not what you wanted me to do,” Nick pressed, determined to express himself. A part of him had been fine with just taking another burden, but it was a small part. Not a part he could listen to. Not with Vivian. He needed to assert himself. He needed her to know that what she did was wrong. “…You manipulated me, Vivian. Don’t you see that? You were playing games again! You told me to stay outside, and then you gave me that look, to come in after you, so you and your mom could fool me. Do you have any idea how much that freaked me out!? Thinking that your mother was dying?!”

“I… okay, I di-did do that,” Vivian admitted, her voice quivering. “I was going to just let you wait for me, that part was true! I… I just… I just wanted to talk with my mother again, but… as I was going in, I thought…”

What had she been thinking back then, when she looked over her shoulder at Nick? She could hardly remember.

“…I wanted you to meet her,” she admitted, lowering her head. “I saw how much you wanted something real, so… I gave you that look because I wanted you to come after me and meet my mom.”

But she didn’t want to say it. Because…

“Vivian… you should have just asked me to come in with you in the first place, then,” Nick said, his voice still hard. “If you wanted me to meet your mother, why did you mess around like that? Why did you goad me? It was because you didn’t just want me to meet her, did you? You were testing me, just like you said.”

“…I was,” Vivian admitted again with a guilty nod. “I wanted to… to test you, and when you failed…”

“When I failed you played that prank on me,” Nick said. “The one you cooked up with your mother. To punish me for doing what you wanted.”

“I-”

“Because you couldn’t just be vulnerable, could you?” Nick took a step forward, but stopped himself when he saw her recoil. That’s when he saw the look on her wide-eyed face.

She’s… scared.

…He didn’t let that stop him. “You wanted me to meet your mom, but that wasn’t enough. You couldn’t be that vulnerable in front of me. So you had to make it so meeting her came at my expense. You played that sick prank, making me think she was going to die, so I’d be thrown off, didn’t you? So you could make me be the vulnerable one in that moment, so it wouldn’t be you.”

It was just a guess. A wild accusation that Nick hoped wasn’t the truth.

Vivian’s eyes widened into a stunned look aimed in Nick’s direction, and her mouth dropped open slightly. It seemed she was only just now realizing the veracity of Nick’s statements.

“I… I think you’re… right…” she stammered, her cheeks reddening. “I… I just meant for it to be a prank, but…”

Hearing him put it that way sounded too correct to deny.

Nick sighed. Vivian wasn’t the first woman he’d dealt with who tried to avoid things like that. But he wasn’t going to tolerate it. “Vivian, this isn’t going to work. This date… I’m done with it.”

“What!?” Vivian reacted in alarm, shaken from her daze. “Just because of the prank? Nick, no, I… I made a mistake, but-”

“It wasn’t a mistake though, it was a calculated plan to throw me off and embarrass me in front of your mom! So you wouldn’t be embarrassed yourself!” Nick could forgive a lot of things, but what Vivian had done… and after he’d been trying all day to get close to her, too! It was a horrible, horrible thing.

“And if that wasn’t enough, you insulted me, saying I’m an idiot? Why should I just take that, huh?” Nick demanded.

“I-I complimented you, too!” Vivian cried. “I told her how cute you were, and how you’re the nicest guy around, I… it was just a little bit of light teasing-!”

“And how would you like it if I teased you back like that?” Nick countered. “If I said you were some vapid, reckless snob who looks down on everyone because she thinks she’s all that?”

Vivian sagged, and her face fell. “Don’t… don’t say that…” she whimpered. “You don’t mean that… I know you don’t-!”

“So you did mean it, when you told your mom I wasn’t that bright?” Nick asked bitterly.

“Wh-when it comes to figuring out pranks… but you’re smart in other ways, Nick, I just…” Vivian could tell no matter what she said, it wouldn’t make things better. “…No, you’re right… that was wrong of me…” She felt like she was going to throw up. “I’m sorry I said that… it’s an awful thing to say…”

Nick nodded slowly. “That. That right there.” He pointed an accusatory finger at the heiress. He tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but it was too hard. “That’s your biggest issue.”

Vivian tensed.

“You say and do these things without even thinking about them. Acting like everybody around you is in on the joke. But then you go too far, and you fall all over yourself trying to make it right. Like with Kim. And with me just now.”

“B-but I apologized!” Vivian said. “And I meant it! I really did!”

“I know you meant it,” Nick said, nodding. “Because… I know you’re not a bad person at heart, Vivian. But sometimes, it isn’t enough to just go ‘whoops, my bad!’ and pretend like everything’s fine. I’m not some toy you can play with. You can’t just wind me up for your own amusement! You say you want to get married, but you’re not even looking at me, are you?”

Vivian’s voice caught in her throat. She had to fix this somehow, there had to be something she could say, something she could do…

“How do I make this up to you?” She asked frantically, extending a trembling hand towards him. “I’m so sorry… what do you want me to do? How do I… what should I…?”

Nick fought to keep a straight face. It was hard to look at Vivian right now, acting so desperate and pathetic.

“I mean it, Nick!” Vivian pleaded. Any intention of being coy or playful was the furthest thing from her mind. “Just tell me what you want me to do!”

“Vivian, I don’t want you to do anything!” Nick said. He knew how much Vivian needed everyone’s approval. He’d seen it enough times to know that she would say or do just about anything to get back onto someone’s good side if she thought they didn’t like her.

If he said the word, she might just fall to her knees and kiss his shoes right here in the middle of the street.

But how would that fix things?

“Vivian… god, you just don’t get it!” Nick rubbed his palm against his forehead and sighed. “You can’t just make me like you again after what happened. I’m not going to be bribed to forget how you treated me in there.”

Vivian looked like she was going to be sick. The unpleasant feeling was spreading even faster and her head was starting to hurt.

“So that’s it then?” She whimpered. “We’re done? Just like that?”

“…I don’t know why we wouldn’t be.” Nick felt like he was going too far with this. Knowing about Vivian’s desperation to be liked, and using it this way, it made him feel almost as bad as he’d been treated. “What even was there between us to be ‘done’ anyway?”

Vivian looked at him, stunned. “…Huh?”

“You said it yourself, remember? You want us to have a transactional relationship,” Nick pointed out. “So why do you even care if I like you or not? You’re just trying to get your hands on your inheritance, right?”

Vivian’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened. “I… that was…”

“Is that not what you want after all?” Nick asked, eyeing her closely.

“N-no, I mean… it is, but, I-I also want you to like me…” Vivian stammered. “‘Cause… you know, the way I like you…”

Like how? A pet?

“Why? I don’t need to like you to marry you, wasn’t that your whole thing?”

Vivian was barely hanging on. She couldn’t even feel the ground beneath her feet at this point; maybe it wasn’t even there.

“But you said… you said you wouldn’t marry me, un-unless… …That-that’s what you said!” Vivian pointed out, shaking.

“Yeah, I did,” Nick bluntly replied. “But you’re trying to change my mind, right? Or was that more manipulation?”

“No, I… I mean, yes, I… I don’t… what do you want me to say!?” She cried, lunging forward and grabbing him by the arms. Her eyes were wide with panic. “Just tell me what I can say to fix this! Please!”

“Some things can’t be fixed like that,” Nick said. He had half a mind to pull away from her, but he feared that if he did that she’d just collapse. “Sometimes you go too far.”

He wasn’t sure if this was one of those times. But he needed to settle things here, before Vivian did something that really would go too far. Her recklessness was a pattern, and if she kept going, he would not be the last person she hurt. And he didn’t want someone fragile like Ella or Morgana or, God forbid, Mary to be on the receiving end of Vivian’s next “prank” attempt.

Mary sent Nola to keep me from being walked all over. And she was right. If I don’t resolve this, then Vivian will just keep taking things for granted and she won’t change.

“Nick…” Vivian whimpered, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m sorry… is that what you want me to say? Do you want me to show you something real!? I-I can do that, I-”

“Vivian, I don’t want that, don’t you get it!?” Nick just wanted to get through to her. “Don’t you see that you have a problem!?”

Vivian blinked away her tears and stared up at him in silent, frozen shock, her mouth twisted into a wide “O”.

Nick sighed. “I understand, okay? I get why you want to have a transactional relationship. Because it’s easier for you that way, isn’t it? If your relationships are predicated on things like money, gifts, empty praise, then you don’t have to worry about the hard things, right? It doesn’t matter if you hurt someone’s feelings or treat them badly by playing with their emotions, because you can just buy them something and it will all be okay, right? I’ve gotta say, as someone with as many relationships as I have to balance, that does sound easy.”

Not even Rose was so easy to buy off. Everyone in Nick’s harem, they were all sincere in their own ways, and Nick tried his best to answer that sincerity in kind.

Everyone except Vivian.

“But real life isn’t like those video games I showed you where you can just give someone enough of their favorite gift until their heart levels rise enough. Real connections are built on more than that. And I don’t know if it’s because you’re too selfish to risk a real connection or too scared of what that entails, but frankly, I’m at my limit,” Nick said, gingerly removing her fingers from his arms. “I don’t want a relationship where you do whatever you want, and then try to make it up to me with some trinket. That might be easy for you, but it’s wrong, Vivian. In a real relationship, you have to actually think about the other person, not just yourself. You can be this free-wheeling, happy-go-lucky girl that’s full of energy all you want, but your recklessness is hurting other people. Hurting me. You didn’t even think about how I might react to that prank of yours, did you? How I would feel about being taken for a ride like that. You thought it would be funny to see my reaction, so you played a little joke, but guess what? I’m not laughing.”

Neither was Vivian. She could barely even hear his words. She just kept replaying everything over in her head while condemning herself in Nick’s voice, asking herself how she could have thought it was okay to do something like that.

Finally, she raised her head and gazed up at him through her teary eyes.

“I didn’t mean to…” she whimpered pathetically.

“I know you didn’t,” Nick said, his heart going out to her a little. No matter how badly she messed up, she wasn’t a bad person at heart.

She was a thoughtless person. Because she’d never really had to care about the impact her words and actions had on other people. She played at being the generous billionaire, but like every spoiled brat she had never really faced serious consequences for her actions. No matter how good her intentions, that flaw in her character still existed.

And now that it had been brought to her attention... now she could do something about it. Maybe now, she could really change.

Nick sure hoped so.

You can’t make people like you by throwing money at them. Or doing favors for them. That may work for a while, or with the wrong people, but it’s not going to work here. Not with me. Not with anyone else here. (Well, maybe Rose...) And I know you know that.

“I don’t think you really want a transactional relationship- no, I know you don’t,” Nick said firmly. “Not really. You want the real thing. I see it every time I look at you having fun with the others. You want real relationships with people, Vivian, you want people to like you for who you are.”

How was she supposed to respond to that? How was she supposed to tell him, that she knew nobody would like her for “who she was”?

“Vivian… I know you can do better than this,” Nick pleaded with her. “You’re treating Kim better now, right? Because she told you to stop. Well, this is me. Telling you to stop. You hurt me today, Vivian, and I’m not going to let that keep going.”

Vivian opened her mouth and a whining sound escaped her throat. “Nick…”

“No. I don’t want to hear it,” Nick said firmly. “There’s nothing you can do to ‘make it better’ I don’t want a transactional relationship like that. I’m not going to tell you ‘do this thing and we’ll be okay’ because I don’t even know what that would be.”

“What… what if I can change?” Vivian pleaded. “I’ll stop, I won’t prank you anymore, I’ll do whatever you want, so…!”

“You see? You’re still doing it!” She wasn’t listening to a word he was saying. “You’re trying to find the magic way to get me to forgive you, but that’s not how this works!”

“But I don’t know how it’s supposed to work!” Vivian wailed, fighting back her tears. “I don’t want you to hate me… I want to make it better! I just… I just want to make it right…”

I just want you to like me! Please just like me-!

It hurt seeing her like this.

“…Vivian… you really just don’t get it, do you?” Nick shook his head slowly. “What you did to me back there.”

“Of course I get it,” Vivian sulked, looking down. “I was playing games with your feelings, teasing you, taking you for granted… I’m not heartless, I know I messed up… and I’m sorry.”

“No, you don’t get it.” Nick shook his head. “If you did, you never would have done that.”

She raised her head and looked weakly at him.

“Vivian… do you have any idea how it felt, seeing your mom cough up blood like that?” Nick asked. “…My mom is dead, Vivian. She died in a hospital room like that one, fighting for every last breath. I was so little I hardly even remember her, but I remember holding her hand near the end, and how soft and frail she felt. I can still feel it even now.”

“…Oh my god…” Vivian’s face turned pale and she started to shake. “I… I didn’t know… Nick… I’m so, sorry… I’m so sorry…”

“Of course you didn’t know,” Nick said as gently as possible. “We only just started getting to know each other. How could you have known? But that’s just it. Because you don’t know me, you had no idea how much that ‘joke’ of yours would hurt me. That’s what I mean when I said your thoughtlessness is the worst part of you, Vivian. That’s why you can’t keep going on like this, unless you want to end up alone.”

He wasn’t even sure if his words reached her. Vivian clung tightly to him and buried her face in his shirt, numbly muttering “I’m so sorry” over and over again. Nick could feel the pain and remorse in her voice, and knew that as hard as it was for him to say those things, she needed to hear them.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry…”

The ground began to rumble and Nick tensed. He grabbed Vivian’s shoulders and held her close, looking around as Dream Alley seemed to be… glitching out somehow.

“Vivian?” He looked down at the heiress, who seemed to barely even register him. “What’s going on?”

“I’m so sorry…” she muttered again as the sky darkened around them and the world began to spin.

A curtain of darkness erupted across every corner of the sky, painting everything in black.

“Vivian?!” Nick couldn’t feel her in his arms anymore. He looked around, trying to make her out in the shadows, but he couldn’t see six inches in front of his face. “Vivian!”

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry…”

She was nearby, Nick could hear her whimpering sobs. He found he could move, wherever he was; the ground was uneven and hard, like rock or brick, and he could also feel something loose and unstable beneath his feet. He reached out his hands, fumbling in the dark, and brushed against a rough surface, like a rock wall.

“Vivian?” He called again, taking a few more steps forward in the darkness. He kept fumbling his way forward, trying to make sense of where he was. A feeling of dread was welling up inside him, and he started to get desperate. No matter how hard he tried, his surroundings refused to change.

If Vivian had brought them both here, her emotions must have been so strong he couldn’t overwrite them.

“Ah!”

He finally found Vivian when he nearly tripped over her. Barely able to make her out in the dark, he saw the silhouette of the heiress, crumpled on the ground and clutching her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth and apologizing over and over again.

“Vivian, come on,” Nick said, reaching out to her. “That’s enough. I don’t know what you’re doing, but just stop it, okay?”

He placed his hand on her shoulder and she stiffened and fell silent. For a moment, he thought she was going to scream.

Instead, she passed out, falling back into his arms.